Maybe I should call this post: "Out of the mouth of Parents"...
My Mom and Dad got married just before the Stock Market Crashed and the Great Depression hit. They had six kids before the War...and six after he came home.
If you talk to any of kids about how they were as Parents, you would think we were all raised by different folks. But if you asked any of us what they were like as a couple...well, we all agree: they made Romeo and Juliet look like Rookies. And that never changed in their 48 years of marriage.
My Dad was not like me. He was exactly like what you read about in History Books about the "Greatest Generation." My Dad did not talk much. I use more words in one Post than that man said in a year. And he did not give idle compliments. If my Dad said: "Good Job."
Well, you were over the moon. Because he expected you to do a good job. So doing it right was a given. For him to say: "Good Job." Well, you had to be a true Master of your craft. And Mom was flat out brilliant. College Grad (Chemistry) back in the 1920's....and she was a wonderful conversationalist. My Dad was also a College Grad...which was rare back then.
So you have a glimpse of them so I can tell this story. I have many, but this one, I think shows how they thought, and worked, as a couple.
It was 1957 or 58. I was just a little guy. We had a huge family reunion as both Mom and Dad were from small herds like our family was. After playing in my Uncle's Corn Fields with the cousins, I decided to play with my Army men under a picnic table. The table had one of those red and white checkered table cloths on it, and it hung down enough where you couldn't see me under the Table.
I was just playing with the little green plastic Army men, when my Mother helped my sister to the table. My sister was in tears...and terribly upset. My Mother listened for a bit, and then after a long hug said this:
"Honey, there is nothing wrong with you - or your husband. What you are feeling is...overwhelm. He is working two jobs, you have three kids under the age of four. You have not made any time to be a couple. "
My sister tried to cut her off and tell her how bad her husband is acting. My Mother just shushed her and said:
"Listen to me. There is nothing wrong with him. There is nothing wrong with you. You are overwhelmed and forgot to take care of each other first. Right now Dad is talking to your husband. Uncle Bill is going to let you both take his brand new Buick. The rest of the Uncles have chipped in some money. Your two sisters have agreed to watch your children for four days.
You and your husband are going to get in the Buick. Drive up to the Lake, rent a cabin, and date each other. You will have enough to eat out, and buy gas. If you decide to go somewhere else after tonight in the Cabin, and drive up to Detroit, then do it. Go dancing. Go swim in the Lake. Go to a drive inn Movie.
We will take care of the kids. You have four days...use them well."
And that is exactly what they did. They had a blast.
My sister told me years later that four days saved their marriage. And my Mom and Dad were right...it was overwhelm and not anything else wrong in their marriage.
When I got older, and got married myself. I thought back to how my Mom and Dad were able to spot overwhelm...and take the steps, without any blame, to reconnect my sister and her hubby as a couple. Of course, all the Uncles and Aunts contributed to the money side of it. I think it was like $7 bucks to rent a cabin at the lake...and gas was ridiculously low. And you could get breakfast for a dollar. The Uncles and Aunts had given them like almost $70 to spend. And didn't want them to pay it back. But they were much like my Mom and Dad, so they did (eventually) make sure that the money was returned in full.
Even as a little kid, just hiding under a table, I remember thinking Adults are weird. But I knew my Mom was helping my Sister. And I thought that was great.
I had good parents.