Posted on Nov 25, 2016
MAJ David Vermillion
3.66K
34
18
4
4
0
7d63a2de
Avatar feed
Responses: 12
CAPT Kevin B.
6
6
0
I have to tell this one on myself. I was an ENS at my first change of command decked out in full dress whites with sword standing prominently in front of my division. When the command "Officer's draw swords" came, I immediately with great skill drew my sword out to the proper angle with a snap. Problem was the blade came out of the hilt and kept going, flipping it's way through the air and clattering on the grinder up to the podium. When the astonished crowd looked at me, the butt knob on the hilt fell off and rolled around on the ground much longer than physics allowed. Nothing I could do. It took a long time for the laughter to stop.

Postscript. When I was deployed to Antarctica after that incident, I was having dinner with the usual metal tray. Somehow my wrist slapped down on the fork and sent it somewhere behind me. I turned around to see the Skipper handing my fork back with his cake attached. He said "Kev, this shit has got to stop!" while laughing his butt off along with the whole mess hall in hysterics. Took a while to lose the nickname that came with it.
(6)
Comment
(0)
MAJ David Vermillion
MAJ David Vermillion
>1 y
Your comment is the greatest! I laughed just reading this. Hilarious!
(1)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small
SGT Dave Tracy
4
4
0
Edited >1 y ago
Bigger than Platoon or company, but...

As a completely unexpected surprise, we got Zonked once at the end of a brigade change of command ceremony and there was this precious moment of utter confusion by the crowd as we struggled to understand what we just heard and that it was GO Time. And a moment later...Go we did! Sprinting off towards all points of the compass in a mass explosion of motivated--if literally directionless--soldiers.

I was told the CSM was none too happy and tried to stop it, but if that's true, what could even this one man do right? Lord knows I ran from the scene as fast as my little legs could carry me; and I didn't look back!
(4)
Comment
(0)
SGT Writer
SGT (Join to see)
>1 y
I heard that happened at Bragg once.
(0)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small
Maj John Bell
3
3
0
Plebe summer, uniform races -- The uniform is "Water works Batman" Black socks, Black Dress Corfam Shoes, Navy Blue Speedo with yellow side stripes, White Duty Belt, Gray Navy Sweat Shirt tucked in, rain cape from the rain coat, Black leather gloves, Rain coat pouch worn as a cover with black sock "bat ears", athletic socks triceps, biceps, and pecs. You have three minutes GO!

2nd Place - Marine 2ndLt finds out that Dress white trousers are semi-transparent in bright sunlight when the IG asks about the Green Ducky print on his boxer shorts.
(3)
Comment
(0)
MCPO Couch Potato
MCPO (Join to see)
>1 y
I saw a female Ensign in Whites that didn't know about the transparency thing... Fortunately, as a Master Chief, I could get away with less than PC commentary, so I pulled her aside and explained that the red thong and bra weren't going to cut it with a flag change of command - and that she needed to change them out or put something on to hide the evidence of the crime. She panicked - no other females her size in the unit, 15 minutes to GO time.

She later thanked me for letting her wear one of MY white t-shirts and a pair of MY tighty-whities to cover up. It took some mentoring, but the new LCDR is now a helluva officer - I just got an e-mail from her when she got picked up for O-4. We still giggle about the Crimson Caper.
(0)
Reply
(0)
Avatar small

Join nearly 2 million former and current members of the US military, just like you.

close