Posted on Jun 3, 2014
Being addressed/addressing others by rank after retirement
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I fall into category 2, but was curious what others thought. From my RallyPoint experience I can see there is a lot of respect for rank among retirees and from active service members. Even locally when I run into my comrades, we all address each other by rank out of respect. Even though I tell people to call me by my first name, It still feels good to hear it.
Retirement
Professionalism
Rank
Protocol
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 181
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Category 2 here. It is by no means a requirement, but it often just seems right.
I'll admit that there is one guy senior to me that I look forward to addressing as "Hey, #$&@#!'
I'll admit that there is one guy senior to me that I look forward to addressing as "Hey, #$&@#!'
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CSM Joseph Parvin
I often see a man who was my SGM almost 40 years ago. It feels natural to call him by his rank. He will always be my SGM. This is true even though I retired as a CSM. I also call him by his given name. Both work. If it feels comfortable use it. If it seems unnatural, don't.
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MSgt George Fillgrove
It's not a requirement that I do all of the time, but it becomes a personal show of respect to another veteran or to someone I know to be higher in rank when I do.
I am forever an Air Force Master Sergeant: a member of the "Top Three." However, I'm also now 25 years "down range" in retirement, am a grandfather now rapidly moving to the close of a third career -- just another of a group of veterans who have matriculated back into civilian life with the military far in the rearview mirror -- and even my grandkids are surprised when the photos show up of me in uniform or the medals are pulled from the footlocker.
So, I address some veterans by their rank out of respect and comradery. It puts a gleam in their eyes when I do.
I also used it once to help de-escalate a veteran having a PTSD crisis. He knew someone was finally listening when I addressed him in his rank. He started to cry. It helped to steer him toward the services and resources he needed right away.
I am forever an Air Force Master Sergeant: a member of the "Top Three." However, I'm also now 25 years "down range" in retirement, am a grandfather now rapidly moving to the close of a third career -- just another of a group of veterans who have matriculated back into civilian life with the military far in the rearview mirror -- and even my grandkids are surprised when the photos show up of me in uniform or the medals are pulled from the footlocker.
So, I address some veterans by their rank out of respect and comradery. It puts a gleam in their eyes when I do.
I also used it once to help de-escalate a veteran having a PTSD crisis. He knew someone was finally listening when I addressed him in his rank. He started to cry. It helped to steer him toward the services and resources he needed right away.
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CSM (Join to see)
Well I had a hard time being called "Sir" when I retired and went to work for a police department. Didn' t know who they were talking to
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SSgt William Blanshan
Those of us who are older do it partly out of respect and partly out of habit, I think. Those of us who are older and closer to the shitshow that those who went before us have the feeling that those are REAL men. REAL soldiers.
Every time someone calls me a hero to my face I tell them I"m not the hero. Go talk to someone who was dropped into the shit in SE Asia and then came home to be called "Baby killer" and such. THOSE are the REAL heroes. I'm just a jarhead who saw a little bit of action in SA. My dad called the Falklands and Granada a cake walk. This from a man who fought combat in WWII, Korea and Vietnam.
Every time someone calls me a hero to my face I tell them I"m not the hero. Go talk to someone who was dropped into the shit in SE Asia and then came home to be called "Baby killer" and such. THOSE are the REAL heroes. I'm just a jarhead who saw a little bit of action in SA. My dad called the Falklands and Granada a cake walk. This from a man who fought combat in WWII, Korea and Vietnam.
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MAJ Petrarca,
I think it should be up to personal preference, but I always figure it's better to show too much respect than too little.
I think it should be up to personal preference, but I always figure it's better to show too much respect than too little.
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SSgt William Self
An exception----I ran into an elderly MSGT at Walmart recently. He had his rank insignia on his hat. On parting I told him, "Have a good day, Sarge!" He lit up like you've not seen.
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PO1 Jerome Newland
It is always best be polite and respectful. It doesn't stop you from killing them later, if you have too.
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CPT Paul Whitmer
Pvt Michael Todd - Check out the term "Military Rank Equivalency" Sometimes service members leave the "green suit" and join the "purple suit". They are still employed by the same agency - but now serve as "civilians". A portion of all our branches have a "civilian" component. Some do serve in combat zones doing prior skill-set related work. You'd be surprised. Don't paint with such a broad brush - you might end up working as one someday.
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I think it is a term of endearment for some. I kind of like being called "Top" every once in a while. I call one of my old CO's by his rank out of respect, he is retired. As a retiree I call all active by there rank.
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GySgt Mike Swisher
CSM Charles Hayden Passed 7/29/2025 "Top" is also common in the Marine Corps, so no surprise that a retired Navy Captain would address you as such. Have a great day "Top".
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SFC James William Bolt [ 40 Yards ]
I refer to officer as SIR that are no long in the service @ my ego is strong that i know who I am sign 40 yards
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SPC Tom Gordon
HEY Top, that works out great if your going to be retired in the same neighborhood, or when you see them on base or at the Commissary; but how does it work out, if you decide after you retire, to move back to where you were raised or move closer to the grandkids. There may not be a military base near by. I met a retiree at my church, that got out of the Corp. as Sgt. Major. Most times I call him Bill and sometimes I call him Sgt.Major. Its all personal preference Sir, oops I mean TOP.
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SSgt Greg Willard
Old Marine Corps Joke: How do two GySgt's that know each other greet each other?
"Morning Gunny"
"Morning Gunny"
"Morning Gunny"
"Morning Gunny"
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Interesting dialogue here. I've been out quite some time. I guess I've become very civilianized. There are times when I've had the opportunity to go on base or talk to some troops where they address me as "Gunny" and it's a nice reminder . . . . . not expected, but given out of respect. I appreciate it. There are times that I've done the same for different folks, out of respect, but not from the inferior/superior relationship standpoint. At this point in my life and career, all of my friends and seniors (many of whom are now friends) have retired and we are in the stages of our lives where we reflect warmly on our respective careers and celebrating where we are in life.
Some of you will "need" the acknowledgement after you retire or get out as you transition back into the civilian life. Those of us who have gone on before you will welcome you with a beer and a smile. But we realize that it's not the titles that are important, but what bonds us; the camaraderie, shared experiences, and brotherhood. At this station in my life, titles are trivial. Having all of you as brothers and sisters is what's important.
Some of you will "need" the acknowledgement after you retire or get out as you transition back into the civilian life. Those of us who have gone on before you will welcome you with a beer and a smile. But we realize that it's not the titles that are important, but what bonds us; the camaraderie, shared experiences, and brotherhood. At this station in my life, titles are trivial. Having all of you as brothers and sisters is what's important.
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GySgt (Join to see)
PO3 Michael James lets say I won’t necessarily disagree with you. But if vets need validation on their awards, then they aren’t confident in themselves. My awards do not define me.
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CPL Joseph Elinger
On Post in (Jewish) Temple, we knew each other & our respective rank / assignments, but not being @ work nor in each other's immediate chain of command, acted as respectful / respected equals.
I don't know if this helps?
I don't know if this helps?
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This question actually has two components. The first component is how an individual, as a retiree themselves, prefers to be addressed and the second component is how a person, either current military or retired, addresses a military retiree.
The first component is a personal preference. This personal preference can be easily advertised by how a person labels their business cards, emails, and other correspondence. Do they refer to themselves as Mr/Mrs or as rank (R)?
The second component is METT-TC in my opinion. A person, depending upon situation such as social function or private function, should address a retiree as the situation calls for but with the general "salute" rule of "when in doubt, whip it out" and refer to the retiree by their rank. The retiree will then continue the conversation (in which a person should continue to use the rank) or will say something along the lines of "call me Bob".
The first component is a personal preference. This personal preference can be easily advertised by how a person labels their business cards, emails, and other correspondence. Do they refer to themselves as Mr/Mrs or as rank (R)?
The second component is METT-TC in my opinion. A person, depending upon situation such as social function or private function, should address a retiree as the situation calls for but with the general "salute" rule of "when in doubt, whip it out" and refer to the retiree by their rank. The retiree will then continue the conversation (in which a person should continue to use the rank) or will say something along the lines of "call me Bob".
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SGT Daniel Myers
My biggest problem is with the VA. If you're an officer, they'll address you by rank, if you're one of the pee-ons, you're addressed as mister regardless of your station in life.
Example; because the VA has me listed by my Uncle Sam government name, that's all they're going to address me by.
But hey, I was in the Army and the slogan was: "Be all you can be", so I became a doctor and it irritates me to no end to have them address me as mister when I've worked so hard at becoming what I am.
So I've made a joke about it with them and say: Mr. Myers is my grandfather, I'm Dr. Myers his grandson.
Sometimes, this pisses them off to know end because to look at me, you're thinking, no, doesn't look like doctor material here.
They're the only ones that I make do this every time I go so they know I'm not some lowly Sgt. from a war a long ago.
I'm an educated man, 3 doctorates, and the 1000 yard stare. That makes me the most dangerous man in the room.
Example; because the VA has me listed by my Uncle Sam government name, that's all they're going to address me by.
But hey, I was in the Army and the slogan was: "Be all you can be", so I became a doctor and it irritates me to no end to have them address me as mister when I've worked so hard at becoming what I am.
So I've made a joke about it with them and say: Mr. Myers is my grandfather, I'm Dr. Myers his grandson.
Sometimes, this pisses them off to know end because to look at me, you're thinking, no, doesn't look like doctor material here.
They're the only ones that I make do this every time I go so they know I'm not some lowly Sgt. from a war a long ago.
I'm an educated man, 3 doctorates, and the 1000 yard stare. That makes me the most dangerous man in the room.
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PO2 Russell Houston
I've never consider it an issue that they call me Mister. I do not see the disrespect in it...after all my dad was a Mister, he was a dam fine man.
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Col (Join to see)
SGT Daniel Myers Doc, you’re impressive. My hang up is that I get Ms or Mrs (though not married) even when on active duty. I have to say that it chaps me a bit, but then I realize it’s not an affront... it’s just ignorance and it’s our job to educate. It’s also our job to decide if we’re going to be a jerk about it or not. I usually make a joke about it to draw attention to it, but then move on.
Man, I’m seriously impressed by your doctorates!!! Being prior enlisted, I also get irritated when people assume you’re uneducated because you’re enlisted... my State CCM was a Lawyer when I was an E3, so nope! And used to be that 85% of guard/reservists were prior, which means...they’re also educated.
Soap box out.
Man, I’m seriously impressed by your doctorates!!! Being prior enlisted, I also get irritated when people assume you’re uneducated because you’re enlisted... my State CCM was a Lawyer when I was an E3, so nope! And used to be that 85% of guard/reservists were prior, which means...they’re also educated.
Soap box out.
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Most of the time I do use Sir or Ma'am or their Rank or Rate to address them in almost every situation.
There has only been one time that I have not used Rank or Rate, because their were my neighbor in civilian house and it was kind of awkward.
There has only been one time that I have not used Rank or Rate, because their were my neighbor in civilian house and it was kind of awkward.
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MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
I don't think its so much and individual, wanting or expecting to be called by rank, SSG Reid (though there are a few) as much as it is others using the rank out of respect, especially if you served together. I agree the past is the past and hopefully most of us have some fond memories of our days in uniform. But still hearing that rank once in a while does stir the emotions from time to time, in a good way.
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PO1 James Reed
I only use the rank if i was stationed with them or knew them but most of the time since i have retired i just use sir or mr....
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CPO Ed Hoover
My neighbor is a retired Marine Major, 20 years active. He knows I retired as a CPO, from the Reserve side. We never served together, call each other by our first names. Every once in a while, when we see each other at a distance he'll wave and call my name, I'll try with his name and a salute, wouldn't meet todays military standards, but he knows it's a sign of respect.
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I think it is important for the transition process to use first names. Most retired officers I work with do not like to be called "Sir".
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1SG Cameron M. Wesson
LTC (Join to see) Trey, I'm going to have to disagree with you.
Yes, I no longer have the honor of wearing the uniform... like hundreds of our brothers and sisters; however, I am still (and many of them still are) a leader.. and a leader of warriors. I'm a leader, manager and supervisor... and everyday I still coach, teach, and mentor... mostly officers and civilians... and even a few NCOs... as that is the make up of CAC. I do so "out front" showing what is correct and the right way to to accomplish the mission or given task... and I do so in a shirt, slacks and tie. I'm out in front physically many times also. Getting in first to the office to ensure the sidewalk is clear of snow... or during CAC runs I calling cadence for a mile or so. I even did an APFT, though not for a real record, with my org just to "lead by example"... and my pride had something to do with it.
While now a DA Civilian... I have a new creed I follow... but I never forgot the Soldiers Creed nor the NCO Creed.... the Army Civilian Corps Creed is...
I am an Army civilian – a member of the Army team.
I am dedicated to our Army, our Soldiers and civilians.
I will always support the mission.
I provide stability and continuity during war and peace.
I support and defend the Constitution of the United States and consider it an honor to serve our nation and our Army.
I live the Army values of loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and personal courage.
I am an Army civilian.
To make the submission that you must wear a uniform to be a leader of warriors... is to make the submission that the POTUS, SECDEF, SECARMY, or hundreds of Army Civilian and SES are not leaders or warriors. This submission is simply not correct... regardless of the opinion you hold on any of them.
Best regards.
Cam
Yes, I no longer have the honor of wearing the uniform... like hundreds of our brothers and sisters; however, I am still (and many of them still are) a leader.. and a leader of warriors. I'm a leader, manager and supervisor... and everyday I still coach, teach, and mentor... mostly officers and civilians... and even a few NCOs... as that is the make up of CAC. I do so "out front" showing what is correct and the right way to to accomplish the mission or given task... and I do so in a shirt, slacks and tie. I'm out in front physically many times also. Getting in first to the office to ensure the sidewalk is clear of snow... or during CAC runs I calling cadence for a mile or so. I even did an APFT, though not for a real record, with my org just to "lead by example"... and my pride had something to do with it.
While now a DA Civilian... I have a new creed I follow... but I never forgot the Soldiers Creed nor the NCO Creed.... the Army Civilian Corps Creed is...
I am an Army civilian – a member of the Army team.
I am dedicated to our Army, our Soldiers and civilians.
I will always support the mission.
I provide stability and continuity during war and peace.
I support and defend the Constitution of the United States and consider it an honor to serve our nation and our Army.
I live the Army values of loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and personal courage.
I am an Army civilian.
To make the submission that you must wear a uniform to be a leader of warriors... is to make the submission that the POTUS, SECDEF, SECARMY, or hundreds of Army Civilian and SES are not leaders or warriors. This submission is simply not correct... regardless of the opinion you hold on any of them.
Best regards.
Cam
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LTC (Join to see)
1SG Wesson,
I appreciate your thoughts, and I stand corrected for the most part. You are not the norm for retirees. If more were like you then we would be better off.
I appreciate your thoughts, and I stand corrected for the most part. You are not the norm for retirees. If more were like you then we would be better off.
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SPC James Jackson
Well, I guess those officers would have a coronary if they ever came to the area of Virginia where I live because it's sort of ingrained in us to say "sir" or "ma'am". It was the only problem I had starting basic training in the Army because my dad is a Marine and I was always taught that was how to address someone. Needless to say that first "yes sir!" Was followed by my drill sgt looking around then back at me saying "Sir? Do I look like an officer to you? I have stripes on my shoulders and that means I work for a living!". Some of us it's just part of who we are.. if I don't know someone its "sir" or "ma'am" and if I do and know their rank it kind of just pops out been taught that since I was a kid. Sorry can't help it and if I were to ever meet you I would hope you wouldn't take it personal if someone like me said "hey Sargent Whitehead"...
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PO3 Rod Arnold
Although I'm no longer in active duty I'm still Navy and stand by the oath I took many years ago. I'm still in touch with my last Captain and have never called him by his first name nor do I call any of the officers in our alumni group by their first name. I do this because I'm still Navy, I do it out of respect of their rank. I find most of my shipmates have the same attitude.
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Sir, I tend to agree with you in that option two most closely represents my view. After spending 23 years on active duty, addressing one by rank and showing military courtesy is second nature and I barely give it a second thought. I am not, however, bothered when someone does not address me by rank now that I am retired, but I also don't mind that they do.
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I can't relate to any of the poll choices... For me... I don't ask or expect to be addressed by rank. Those that know me, may start the conversation with it and that's fine..but you can bet I'm going to ask them to call me Erik... that is after all my name... SGM was just a title I got for doing good stuff.
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Col (Join to see)
Perfect. But that’s really the same in most polite society... ie, call my dad Mr. C. He will greet you and then say, call me Bob.
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