Posted on Jul 12, 2023
Is it standard or even typical as a form of disciplinary action for an NCO to call a soldier's parents to complain about the service member?
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Hello Rallypoint Members!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
I have a question regarding disciplinary actions that I have received from my detachment SFC. So I got myself into some trouble with an MP (argued with an MP after having a few beers), not gonna go into great detail (I own the mistakes that I made) but I am confused about one thing that my detachment sergeant has done regarding my disciplinary actions. The day after my altercation with the MP’s, my detachment SFC called me into her office, she informed me about what reprimands I could be facing (which I expected) but she also made me write down my mother and father’s phone numbers and she actually called them to tell them how much of a dirt bag I had been (which I did not expect). I am a grown man and can face the legal and moral repercussions of my own actions but was taken aback to find out that my NCO had called my family to inform them of the mistakes that I had made. Is this standard procedure in the military or even a typical form of disciplinary action for an NCO to make?
Any and all input is appreciated!
Thanks!
UCMJ
Paralegal NCO
1SG
SFC
JAG
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 217
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This is very poor practice. At the very least the matter should have been taken to the soldier's CO and thoroughly discussed before taking such drastic action.
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PV2 (Join to see)
I agree sir. My detachment sergeant is throwing the book at me in this situation. I have received counselings from my Team Sgt, Platoon Sgt and Detachment Sgt, I have been recommended for an Article 15, and since I had alcohol in my system, I received a command-referral for the army ASAP program (my platoon sergeant recommended that I self refer to avoid the stigma of a command referral, but my detachment sergeant still gave me a command referral regardless)
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Suspended Profile
IN LEIU OF FORMAL DISCIPLINARY ACTION, I'D TAKE IT, BUT THEN THERE HAD BETTER BE NO FURTHER ACTION ON THIS PARTICULAR ISSUE.
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Absolutely, hell no, She steped over a line that should not be crossed. You are not in grade school, you are a member of the military.
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As stated earlier by others. Reserved for those that we try to save. If terms like dirt bag, and other derogatory statements are made, I would imagine family giving her some back before hanging up.
A call to family would be more along the lines of cllarafication of instincts, looking for support from the family in salvaging the service meber, etc.
Not common, not illegal to dial a number, being abrasive and overtly mean about her portrayal of you-not right (not illegal).
So if you portrayed the gist of her call correctly, I would open door her boss. If nothing else she will know what she did was wrong or right.
A call to family would be more along the lines of cllarafication of instincts, looking for support from the family in salvaging the service meber, etc.
Not common, not illegal to dial a number, being abrasive and overtly mean about her portrayal of you-not right (not illegal).
So if you portrayed the gist of her call correctly, I would open door her boss. If nothing else she will know what she did was wrong or right.
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CSM Chuck Stafford
CSM Darieus ZaGara Concur, if the intent was to chastise the soldier, then this was completely inappropriate and just a foul thing to do. Praise in public, chastise in private.
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I do not recall having contacted a family member in a negative situation, but it might (rarely) be used as "diversionary punishment", if the NCO wanted the soldier to understand the seriousness of his actions, but avoid having a blemish on his record. Now, if it was done in addition to other disciplinary action, I would consider it to be "piling on" and inappropriate.
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A1C Medrick "Rick" DeVaney
I Enlisted On My 17th Birthday, But If You Contacted My Mother,
You'd BE A Mother In About 30 Seconds .
You'd BE A Mother In About 30 Seconds .
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No wonder 49 thousand people looked at this, and only 799 posted comments. It sure stirred up a Hornets nest of comments. I can tell you the thread was truly interesting to read. There is a distinct polarization of comments, and the "gray" area comments were few and far between. But the comment that was closest to my experience was the one that said: "I never even thought of this. And never even saw it happen once in my Career." So I am outside, I loved the passion on both sides, and the heart of the ones in the gray zones. So many experiences it boggles my mind.
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This has got to be the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. This sounds like something a K-12th grade teacher would do. What is the military coming to
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As an Ex-NCO and retired teacher, I am perplexed and appalled, that a “leader” gives the impression to be eliciting the assistance of “mom & dad” in dealing with “willful-child” under his care! Lead by example?? We are called upon to train, coach, guide, etc., our subordinates into becoming independent leaders themselves, that can think, act, take, and give orders when appropriate. This is not Kindergarten! Thus, I ask: who the hell is in charge??
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Say what?!?!? That is bizarre. Even if you're 18, you are an adult serving in the Military. You are responsible for your own actions, just like you said. Your parents have a unique role in your life, but it no longer includes concerning themselves with "correcting" your behavior. I think your supervisor was way out of line to make contact that could only be characterized as to embarrass or humiliate you, neither of which is her job. Good luck down the road with this NCO, she sounds like a real piece of work!
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