Have you ever contemplated suicide while in the service or after and why?
On top of it, An Airman...In my new squadron...Female...Decides to take a microphone and speak out (in front of about 200 ppl) at a commanders all call...about her challenges she has been facing for 5 years, struggling with the option of taking her own life. Her reason = Her peers, her supervisor, her people she works...Completely Unsat.
Talk about courage, bravery and just utmost complete honesty. We need to find a solution.
#thishastostop #mentalhealthawareness #mission22 #veteranssuicideawareness #veteranssuicideprevention #22untilnone #22aday #22pushups #protectourairmen #protectourmilitary #beafamily #bond #createapositiveenvironment
First, a huge shout out to all the groups that host a 20-22 mile ruck every year. We used to call it "Ruck for Honor", but the name changed for some reason (https://chicagovets.org/chicago-veterans-ruck-march-2019/). Most everyone has heard about the 22 a day number (last year a new VA study changed it to 20) and each mile is for each person. It's a great gig that gets veterans together and raises awareness.
I was 21, with 75+ hour weeks, in a unit with a lot of EO problems. Army life is hard, but I made it harder by dating the wrong kind of woman. It was a BAD relationship. Eventually, she started sleeping around with other guys and I broke apart one night when I caught her. I felt like shit and couldn't imagine having to put in the hours for another week. As I was heading back to base, I really wanted to drive my truck off the side of the road. I remember my goal was to do whatever it took to put myself in the ER for a while. If I died, oh well. Can you imagine? How did it ever to get to that point, in garrison? I was extremely broken and without answers, but to be so reckless with my life? I don't think it was that big of deal, rather, that night was just the last straw that finally broke my back.
I made it to my buddy's place and we checked into the hospital. Things were taken care of from there. I feel that I was being pushed so damn hard, with so little respect by a lot of my NCOs, and such a dim hope for any brighter future, that when my personal life fell apart my whole being fell apart. I just wanted to check out. It was a rough 3 months after that night, things didn't get easier. I picked up smoking, I drank, took therapy, and I became a miserable and angry person.
I did not fully recover from my time at Bragg until 4 or 5 years later. I couldn't sleep well for years. Every night was rough for me. I know most all of us lose sleep, it comes with the job. But it amazed me how long the pain stuck with me. I look back and notice this slow and gradual deterioration of myself and others in my unit, and how a number of events pushed several of us over the edge.
Now, I had a good amount of shitty leadership, but I am not dumping the blame on others. What I am saying is that in hindsight I can see the value of a compassionate, professional, and invested leader that takes care of soldiers while working them to death. I do credit the Army for the mental health training that was going on during the time. We were all getting told that asking for help isn't a weakness, and I really bought it. I remember my buddy telling me that my suicidal thoughts scared the shit out of him. He thought I was the strongest person he ever met, and to see him outside his door that night, such a miserable mess, made him feel that if it could happen to me it could happen to him.
Since then, I have spent a significant amount of time studying ethics and compassionate leadership, but I don't believe an RP comment is the appropriate place for a lot of academic talk. I do want to share a great article though, about Maj. Gen. Pittard and his work with suicide.
https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/03/the-general-who-went-to-war-on-suicide-214923
Chicago Veterans Ruck March 2019
Chicago's 20 Mile Ruck March from Glencoe IL to Downtown! Memorial Day Weekend - May 24th 2019
COL Mikel Burroughs
Army | Quartermaster Officer
Chairman, Board of Directors & Host for "Warriors for Life" (WFL) at Victory for Veterans Foundation (Non Profit Organizations)
Castle Rock, CO
Dates of Service: Jan 1975 - Feb 2012
RETIRED
Colonel Burroughs' Warriors for Life program is part of "Victory for Veterans Foundation" noted above is aligned to help those who need help in suicide prevention...
Rich
One thing that troubles me is that we have lost more Soldiers to suicide from the unit I served as CSM to during two combat tours, then we lost to enemy action. We lost one down range to suicide from a good unit with a positive command climate that took everyone by surprise to include his battle buddy. Plus five others as veterans now that I know of , one wasn't a surprise as they had alcohol, discipline and drug issues while on active duty (doesn't make their loss any less meaningful but when you get the call; it's not a shock). The other four were solid Soldiers, NCOs and family men. With the exception of the Soldier down range the others all had multiple combat tours (2) with me to Iraq and then others later.
My only suggestion is to make yourself available and be as good a friend, leader and Soldier as you can be and be ready to help folks when and if they ask or need it.
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Rich
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