Posted on Jan 31, 2015
How do I deal with those who question the value of my service just because I never deployed?
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So I have dealt with my fair share of civilians asking me questions like if I went to Afghanistan or Iraq. I never deployed in my 3 years of service, but just over a week ago when someone asked me that and I said "No, I never deployed." He replied with, "How are you even a veteran then? You didn't even serve your country." I just stood there like a deer in headlights because I had no idea how to respond to that. The worst part was that I had this feeling that he was right, and it's been eating me up since.
The last thing I want to do is sound like some kind of princess who can't get up and brush himself off but my question is how do you deal with something like that, how do you respond and more importantly, how can I stop this feeling nagging at me?
Note: Image added by RP staff
Thanks in advance.
The last thing I want to do is sound like some kind of princess who can't get up and brush himself off but my question is how do you deal with something like that, how do you respond and more importantly, how can I stop this feeling nagging at me?
Note: Image added by RP staff
Thanks in advance.
Civilians
Deployment
Selfless Service
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 1540
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So, this may not be terribly politically correct, but....
1. Look deeply into the eyes of this civilian who never volunteered to serve.
2. Ponder deeply all the sacrifices that you were willing to make, which he/she was not.
3. Hold your last f%ck in your cupped palm, remembering that he/she has the ability to be all judge-y because you took your turn standing on the line.
4. Open your hand and let that last f%ck fly away into the sky.
5. Carry on.
1. Look deeply into the eyes of this civilian who never volunteered to serve.
2. Ponder deeply all the sacrifices that you were willing to make, which he/she was not.
3. Hold your last f%ck in your cupped palm, remembering that he/she has the ability to be all judge-y because you took your turn standing on the line.
4. Open your hand and let that last f%ck fly away into the sky.
5. Carry on.
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SFC Keith Gardner
Shocked at the vulgarity used by a field grade officer! Quite gentlemanly Sir! So well said I just might have to “promote” you to Staff Sergeant. You can be a squad leader in my platoon any day! Hooah!
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SFC Barbara Layman
We all have a role in the mission. The fact that one is not is not an indication of an inability to serve. Someone has to remain 'in the rear' to ensure that those who are deployed get the materials and materiel needed to accomplish the forward mission. Another point for consideration is 'Who will be there if/when the enemy breaks through the breach?' If all military personnel are elsewhere, those civilians will be holding their a$$es in their hands because they are not in the best position to defend themselves.
One can always respond with "I and others stayed behind to ensure the enemy didn't get to you."
One can always respond with "I and others stayed behind to ensure the enemy didn't get to you."
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SSgt James Carter
Col Stoneking, I was all with you until step 4. I mistakenly read into the script something different. BTW, I couldn't cite your post during my defense.
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SPC Alexander Ackerman, don't drink the civilian Kool-Aid. Whatever idiot told you that you were not a veteran has never been in the military. ANYONE who is honorably serves in the U.S. Military is a veteran in my eyes. You have a DD-214, that says Honorably Discharged you are just as brave and committed as Marine Sgt Dakota Meyers. You have very little control over your duty station or whether or not you will see combat. I did a tour in the Republic of Vietnam from 1970-1971. I was not actively involved in combat and did not earn a Combat Action Ribbon. Basically, all I have are the "I was there ribbons". That does not make me any less of a Marine than my peers who received Purple Hearts and Silver Stars. It just mean circumstances did not present themselves. Just as in your case, circumstances did not present themselves. However, you do have something to hang your hat on. Unlike your "civilian" friend claims you are not a veteran, YOU went through basic training. YOU took an oath to protect and defend the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic. YOU RAISED YOU HAND AND SAID "SO HELP ME GOD" at the end of your swearing in. YOU ARE A VETERAN!!!
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SFC Howard Holmes
MSgt Mark Prechtl - Thank you for your service at that dark period Sgt. Jones, I truly appreciate it from my heart. I don't know, having never been a Marine, if I'm allowed to give you a Semper Fi, so Semper Fi, and if you dress me down, I will know better.
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You're not a combat veteran. Oh well. You volunteered. If you purposely avoided deployment then yes, you should feel bad. If your unit just didn't go in that time then it's not on you. Look at the other branch's deployments; Kuwait, turkey, manas. You did more than the general public. Even the combat guys deal with this when civilians ask us if we've ever killed anyone. Not everyone kills. Sometimes you're the guy pulling rear security. Civilians don't get it, hence why I don't talk about the military to them.
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SFC Howard Holmes
Maj James Tippins - Sir, if you can go up ad read my story concerning this, it is a HORRIBLE experience. I did a career and didn't go, and I despise that, and I truly feel inadequate, undeserving and unworthy. If you read my comments farther up, you'll see I volunteered to go, but even though there is solid justification in the needs of the service, it does NOT make it any better. I don't even talk to other veterans about being in, especially if they served boots on the ground, and there's nothing anybody can say to make me feel any better about it. I could probably whine to the V.A. and claim depression about it, but that would probably make it even worse if they awarded me some VA rating for it. It's a horrible thing to live with.
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1LT Peter Suedfeld
In the military, you go where you're sent and you do what you're told. 'Nuff said to anybody who yaps at you.
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SGT David Priode
Maj Gail Lofdahl - When I get asked by a civilian if I killed someone I reply back : "Obviously not enough as we are still fighting over there".. that shuts them up real quick and I usually get a weird look or two as they walk away from me..
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