Posted on Mar 6, 2018
I'm about to leave AIT to PCS to my duty station and I need information on being a geographic bachelor. Should I wait to get married?
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Maj John Bell
Unless your spouse is a service member, or at least a Service Brat, there is no way you can adequately explain into what she is getting, with your limited military exposure. The separation may be the end of the relationship, but so may the demands on an unprepared service spouse, separated from her entire family support network. Better to end prior to a marriage and kids than after a marriage and kids. Give it at least a year, better yet two years.
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Well, here's what I observed during my time.
For guys w/girlfriends heading in to basic, one of two things happened: Dear John, or marriage.
For the guys that got married while home on leave, they went on to live in a trailer off post somewhere.
Ahe'd be tired of sitting around all day while he is on post or deployed and would start going home to her parents.After a couple years, or months, they split. She moved back home and he'd get on with life. Unless they had a kid by then. Then it got more complicated.
That's just what I observed. Not saying that is your situation. Am saying it is what I saw happen as the norm.
For guys w/girlfriends heading in to basic, one of two things happened: Dear John, or marriage.
For the guys that got married while home on leave, they went on to live in a trailer off post somewhere.
Ahe'd be tired of sitting around all day while he is on post or deployed and would start going home to her parents.After a couple years, or months, they split. She moved back home and he'd get on with life. Unless they had a kid by then. Then it got more complicated.
That's just what I observed. Not saying that is your situation. Am saying it is what I saw happen as the norm.
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It's your choice, however, I would wait until you have at least three to six months of expenses in a savings account after a deployment or two. I don't know your financial situation, though. You could be richer than all of us and have a trust fund or something.
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PVT Morriss...I don't think any young soldier starting out should get married, first get yourself adjusted to military life, second make more rank to increase your pay, third do some research on being married and military life from creditable leaders and peers. Fourth think about the deployments keeping you away from your spouse and future family, fifth discuss this matter with your girlfriend/fiance' about being away from home and adjusting to an new environment, and sixth planning for her future as a military spouse, what she want to do to make quality of life better. Military is a demanding lifestyle, and requires a lot of sacrifice on couples.
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Do not get married now enjoy your military time, maybe a year or two down the road then get married.
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Life is hard for a soldier married under E5 SGT you have no say about your duty and that can and will lead to Divorce. It happened to me... Ft. Campbell, Ft. Bragg and Ft. Hood especially are not conducive to your marriage.
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SSG Keith Amacher
Here is the postivie side so to speak me and my ex are still friends, but I went on to a lot of things and Counter Terrisiom in Europe in the 80's I worked with the CIA, DIA, NSA and (FBI that were not supposed to be there). I ran around in the field at 2am - 4am and tried to steal weapons and you know what happened if I got your weapon brother. Even tried to get my MSG weapon, he had a quarter inch chain around upper and lower receiver and his body... REALLY. I reported to the Colonel and CSM for the Brigade and no one under them could tell me what to do... I was Military Police Certified plus Intel... My MSG when I asked really MSG a chain. He said I know what you really do and I am still your boss you work for me, muh sort of... LOL
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Why would you get married so young and with little life experiences and self growth? Like everyone is trying to tell you above, wait until you have figured out what you are going to do when you grow up and your girl friend works on herself and her education or trade. Does she have a degree or a trade? Please tell me that her goal is not going to be a stay at home wife.
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Get some stripes first because it will be your responsibility to care for your wife and any children coming along.
When I was a private I thought my girlfriend would wait for me. Instead, I got three "Dear John" letters within four months. She didn't have the staying power needed to be an Army wife. That turned out for the best in the long run.
I strongly suggest that you wait, at least until you achieve the rank of E5, before the commitment.
When I was a private I thought my girlfriend would wait for me. Instead, I got three "Dear John" letters within four months. She didn't have the staying power needed to be an Army wife. That turned out for the best in the long run.
I strongly suggest that you wait, at least until you achieve the rank of E5, before the commitment.
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