Posted on Jul 13, 2014
I respect all members of all branches, but where is the good humored trash talk amongst the branches?
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Just for fun. Call them out. Everyone thinks their branch is the best. (Unless your Navy that's not true) funny stories about why you witnessed the other branches do.
Posted in these groups: 
Humor
Humor
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 116
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We were at Camp Scania in Iraq. Some Guardsman asked my Senior Choef what the Navy was doing there.
Senior responded that we got a battleship stuck in the Euphrates and we were sent over to dig it out.
Senior responded that we got a battleship stuck in the Euphrates and we were sent over to dig it out.
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PO2 Edward Collins
Sorry my lack of Air Force reading comprehension took over. Yea we got the battleship out 3 weeks ahead of schedule. Lol
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I'll add in these four images, which were drawn by an Army Captain buddy of mine last year.
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PO1 (Join to see)
What a shame how Air Force refers to its barracks as DORMS. Are they like always in school or something??
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Cpl (Join to see)
LOL, we did a presidential support det to Martinique. The troops stayed in the barracks in Roosevelt Roads, PR. Ahh, but the Seabee camp sold us Bacardi for 2 bucks a bottle.
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CMDCM Gene Treants
I always loved staying in quarters at AF Bases. As a Master Chief I was assigned to VIP Quarters and I do Mean VIP! I have stayed in Navy, Army, and Marine Quarters and the might as well all be open bay compared to the Suites the AF put me up in. I will say that you do know how to treat your visitors correctly, but that again, they always seem surprised that I have 4 stars on my Collars. LOL
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Cpl (Join to see)
CDR Thomas Gatliffe Those are Recon Jump wings on the top, as well as EOD crab. What is more interesting to me is this is a MGySgt who shows Recon, Seal and EOD but has not had much theater time except for the Arctic and kuwait yet has 2 Navy Crosses as well as a Silver Star, May have to call BS on this one.
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CMDCM Gene Treants
This IS a poser - he has been proven to be a poser a few times and busted more than once.
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Key Phrases for Use in Performance Reviews
1. Since the last report, has reached rock-bottom and started to dig.
2. Should not be allowed to breed.
3. Not so much a has-been, but more a definitely-won’t-be.
4. Works well when under constant, close supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. When mouth opens, it seems that it is only to change feet.
6. Has delusions of adequacy.
7. Sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
8. Is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
9. Should go far, and the sooner he(she) starts, the better.
10. Has got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
11. A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
12. Doesn’t have ulcers, but is an active carrier.
13. Has apparently been working closely with glue too much.
14. Would argue with a signpost.
15. Brings a lot of joy whenever he(she) leaves the room.
16. When his(her) IQ reaches 50, he(she) should sell.
17. If you see two people talking and one looks bored to tears, he(she) is the other one.
18. Has a photographic memory but the lens cover is glued on.
19. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
20. Donated unused brain to science before being done with it.
21. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train’s derailed in the station.
22. Has two brain cells; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
23. If any more stupid, would have to be watered twice a week.
24. If you give him(her) a penny for his(her) thoughts, you’d get change.
25. If you stand close enough to him(her), you can hear the ocean.
26. It’s hard to believe that he(she) beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
27. One neuron short of a synapse.
28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he(she) only gargled.
29. Takes him(her) two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
30. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
1. Since the last report, has reached rock-bottom and started to dig.
2. Should not be allowed to breed.
3. Not so much a has-been, but more a definitely-won’t-be.
4. Works well when under constant, close supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. When mouth opens, it seems that it is only to change feet.
6. Has delusions of adequacy.
7. Sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
8. Is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
9. Should go far, and the sooner he(she) starts, the better.
10. Has got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
11. A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
12. Doesn’t have ulcers, but is an active carrier.
13. Has apparently been working closely with glue too much.
14. Would argue with a signpost.
15. Brings a lot of joy whenever he(she) leaves the room.
16. When his(her) IQ reaches 50, he(she) should sell.
17. If you see two people talking and one looks bored to tears, he(she) is the other one.
18. Has a photographic memory but the lens cover is glued on.
19. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
20. Donated unused brain to science before being done with it.
21. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train’s derailed in the station.
22. Has two brain cells; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
23. If any more stupid, would have to be watered twice a week.
24. If you give him(her) a penny for his(her) thoughts, you’d get change.
25. If you stand close enough to him(her), you can hear the ocean.
26. It’s hard to believe that he(she) beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
27. One neuron short of a synapse.
28. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he(she) only gargled.
29. Takes him(her) two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
30. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
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Capt Jeff S.
LOL, we heard a few similar comments during Admin class at TBS and the following were actually taken from fitness reports submitted by reporting seniors... or so we were told. Among them:
"This Lieutenant could not lead a platoon out of a burning house."
"In time of combat, I desire this Marine as a parapet."
"This officer will be the first casualty inflicted by his troops."
"Serves as an example to others of what not to emulate."
"Other than his inability to read, speak or write, this Marine would make a fine leader."
: )
"This Lieutenant could not lead a platoon out of a burning house."
"In time of combat, I desire this Marine as a parapet."
"This officer will be the first casualty inflicted by his troops."
"Serves as an example to others of what not to emulate."
"Other than his inability to read, speak or write, this Marine would make a fine leader."
: )
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SN Elgin Beck
they are most likely swcc not seals, or swcc transporting seals. but still really cool
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Ive heard those Army folks signing GI soap and GI gravy Gee I wished I joined the Navy. And you know they can't be Marines. "To observe a Marine, is inspirational. To be a Marine, is exceptional." And that kind of leaves the Army out!
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PFC Zanie Young
Nah, I rather not be a Marine. The way I remember it "1, 2, 3, 4; We're not the damn Marine Corps; I like it here, I love it here, etc.
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Cpl Glynis Sakowicz
Wow... and here I thought I was bad for buying my son in law (Army type,) a tee shirt that said "Marines... making things safe for the Army since 1775"
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[login to see] _armysfc
A Taliban Army Platoon was on patrol when the
commander noticed a lone Marine standing on a hilltop
above their location. The commander told two of his
soldiers to go take out the Marine, so they dropped
their packs and promptly ran as fast as they could
toward the Marine. Just before they got to the
top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill.
The two soldiers followed.
For the next few moments there were bloody screams
and dust flying in the air. Then as quickly as it had
started, it stopped and the Marine appeared back on
the hilltop. He brushed off his cammies, straightened
his cover, crossed his arms and stood there looking
down at the Taliban soldiers.
The infuriated commander called for a squad to go
get the Marine. They promptly ran as fast as they
could toward him. Just before they got to the
top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill.
The squad followed, and for the next few minutes there
were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. When
it stopped, the Marine again returned to the hilltop.
He brushed off his cammies, straightened his cover,
crossed his arms and stood there looking down at the
remaining Taliban soldiers.
The commander was really hot now. He ordered the
rest of his platoon to attack the Marine. Determined
that Taliban soldiers were far superior to one
lone Marine, they had blood in their eyes as they
ran up the hill. Just before they got to the top, the
Marine ran over the other side of the hill.
The blood-thirsty soldiers followed. For many
minutes there were horrific screams and clouds of dust
flying in the air. It continued and continued.
When it finally stopped, one lone soldier came
crawling back to the commander, all bloody and beat
about the head and shoulders. His uniform was
torn, cuts were all over his body. The commander
demanded a report. The lone soldier, trying to catch
his breath, replied in a forceful yet trembling
voice, "Sir, run... it was a trick. There are TWO
of them!!"
A Taliban Army Platoon was on patrol when the
commander noticed a lone Marine standing on a hilltop
above their location. The commander told two of his
soldiers to go take out the Marine, so they dropped
their packs and promptly ran as fast as they could
toward the Marine. Just before they got to the
top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill.
The two soldiers followed.
For the next few moments there were bloody screams
and dust flying in the air. Then as quickly as it had
started, it stopped and the Marine appeared back on
the hilltop. He brushed off his cammies, straightened
his cover, crossed his arms and stood there looking
down at the Taliban soldiers.
The infuriated commander called for a squad to go
get the Marine. They promptly ran as fast as they
could toward him. Just before they got to the
top, the Marine ran over the other side of the hill.
The squad followed, and for the next few minutes there
were bloody screams and dust flying in the air. When
it stopped, the Marine again returned to the hilltop.
He brushed off his cammies, straightened his cover,
crossed his arms and stood there looking down at the
remaining Taliban soldiers.
The commander was really hot now. He ordered the
rest of his platoon to attack the Marine. Determined
that Taliban soldiers were far superior to one
lone Marine, they had blood in their eyes as they
ran up the hill. Just before they got to the top, the
Marine ran over the other side of the hill.
The blood-thirsty soldiers followed. For many
minutes there were horrific screams and clouds of dust
flying in the air. It continued and continued.
When it finally stopped, one lone soldier came
crawling back to the commander, all bloody and beat
about the head and shoulders. His uniform was
torn, cuts were all over his body. The commander
demanded a report. The lone soldier, trying to catch
his breath, replied in a forceful yet trembling
voice, "Sir, run... it was a trick. There are TWO
of them!!"
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