Posted on May 28, 2015
In today's digital society can monogamy have a place?
6.44K
31
21
2
2
0
Ok, I have been through a failed marriage and have seen many, many others fail while serving as a paralegal (generally everyone's legal expert even if you don't want to be). I have also been approached by women in the PX that are clearly married, flirting and even asking me out. I never did anything while married and never would on someone I am dating. Nor would I with someone that I knew was. However, is this a thing now? Is monogamy truly dead and did the Internet help it? With the wide variety of options out there for cheaters and or spouses just looking.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/are-new-dating-apps-killing-monogamy-or-has-it-always-been-dead/2015/05/26/485f07ec-03e8-11e5-8bda-c7b4e9a8f7ac_story.html
What is your spiritual, ethical, moral, and whatever view on monogamy?
If you and your significant other are happy how did you truly get past the 'wild world wide web' that people are blaming for their need to break from monogamy?
Finally, do you think an open relationship can work?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/are-new-dating-apps-killing-monogamy-or-has-it-always-been-dead/2015/05/26/485f07ec-03e8-11e5-8bda-c7b4e9a8f7ac_story.html
What is your spiritual, ethical, moral, and whatever view on monogamy?
If you and your significant other are happy how did you truly get past the 'wild world wide web' that people are blaming for their need to break from monogamy?
Finally, do you think an open relationship can work?
Relationships
Marriage
Spirituality
Posted 9 y ago
Responses: 10
6
6
0
People who are intent on cheating on a spouse is going to find a way to cheat regardless of the internet. It may have made the choices and methods more varied, but the internet doesn't "cause" it.
(6)
(0)
SSG Richard Reilly
I guess the thought came from, if you have a drug addict that is at a table and you place his favorite drug in front of him. Would it cause him to use it?
OR
The over view could be does a spoon make you fat?
OR
The over view could be does a spoon make you fat?
(0)
(0)
4
4
0
I met my wife of 10 years (and counting) using social media and digital communication, and we are both 100% committed to a lasting monogamous relationship.
The internet is like any other tool: there's more than one way to use it, and not all uses are right or safe.
The internet is like any other tool: there's more than one way to use it, and not all uses are right or safe.
(4)
(0)
SSG Richard Reilly
It is sad when people start congratulating you on 10 years of marriage. It use to be marriage was for ever. However, Congrats.
(1)
(0)
3
3
0
I think monogamy works for most couples still. Though that I guess would depend if you consider looking at porn cheating. Personally I can't think of a single couple that I know that are not monogamous.
(3)
(0)
3
3
0
I think monogamy can work- if both partners want to be monogamous. But that is where the problem lies. But its work. You have to work at not only keeping the love alive... but also the sexual connection. and making the other person feel wanted. Because that is why so many people drift away... is because they miss that feeling of being wanted, right?
I have had friends who had "open" marriages- not so many of them worked out- actually I have yet to see a successful one last long term. You make too many connection on emotionally, not during, but after. That where you tend to open your heart (and where people accidently fall into love with their "friends")
I feel like if you want to play around... go for it.. but be single. Then go do what you want. Don't cheat. Don't Open a marriage- it won't work in the long run.
I have had friends who had "open" marriages- not so many of them worked out- actually I have yet to see a successful one last long term. You make too many connection on emotionally, not during, but after. That where you tend to open your heart (and where people accidently fall into love with their "friends")
I feel like if you want to play around... go for it.. but be single. Then go do what you want. Don't cheat. Don't Open a marriage- it won't work in the long run.
(3)
(0)
SPC (Join to see)
Social media hurts and it will always be an added temptation... But it’s here to stay. Think about deployments and without dependents tours. How easy it is to reach out to an old friend on FB... it doesn’t even have to be one of these "special" sites. And now you have phone apps that wipe out your history/hide everything and “incognito” internet options…
I can always tell when one of my friend or their wives got busted for something… Joint FB accounts- when previously they had two. Especially if one of them get to keep their “own”.
I can always tell when one of my friend or their wives got busted for something… Joint FB accounts- when previously they had two. Especially if one of them get to keep their “own”.
(1)
(0)
SPC (Join to see)
@SSG Richard Reilly
If that is the type of marriage the couple wants- have at it- good for them... but it should be a couples "open" marriage... not a sneaking around my spouses back to find a side piece
If that is the type of marriage the couple wants- have at it- good for them... but it should be a couples "open" marriage... not a sneaking around my spouses back to find a side piece
(1)
(0)
SPC (Join to see)
hahaha. your provider can still provide a record of your usage with a court order and the cops can pull it... SFC James Sczymanski better stick to that burner. :)
(1)
(0)
SSG Richard Reilly
SPC (Join to see) "Social media hurts and it will always be an added temptation..." That is such a accurate statement. I mean while I was married I received friend request from girls I didn't even know that wanted to talk. I asked who they were and was told "I was the locker next to you in high school" I said I was married and they got huffy. Weaker people might have talked...or more.
(1)
(0)
2
2
0
I guess it comes down to the purpose these people got married. Did they get married to get out of the dorms/barracks? Did they want the extra BAH? Was it because they were in love and both parties are better off together( they make each other better-the real reason to get married)?
Like anything else its all what you want it to be. I don't like to share, and what I expect from my wife I expect from myself.
Its all on the person(s)
Like anything else its all what you want it to be. I don't like to share, and what I expect from my wife I expect from myself.
Its all on the person(s)
(2)
(0)
2
2
0
Very enticing question! The social media age can definitely put a damper on monogamy with easy access to anyone out there. IMHO, it comes down to your beliefs and values system. I was raised to believe that monogamy was "right" so I follow it. I don't think I could handle more than 1 partner. I won't pretend to understand polygamy so I won't say its right or wrong - it's what those people involved in that kind of relationship choose.
If I tried to understand it, I would liken it to having multiple children - you don't love any of them any more or less, you give them equal time and do all you can for them. You don't tend to have multiple children if you feel you can't deal with the trials and tribulations of having them, so I would assume one wouldn't have multiple partners if the same were true.
If I tried to understand it, I would liken it to having multiple children - you don't love any of them any more or less, you give them equal time and do all you can for them. You don't tend to have multiple children if you feel you can't deal with the trials and tribulations of having them, so I would assume one wouldn't have multiple partners if the same were true.
(2)
(0)
SSG Richard Reilly
Very good response. But children and just wanting a different physical relationship is different. The article above talks about how much the person loved her husband but wanted more physically. To me the physical and love are tied together. But others they see things online that entice them. They know their partner isn't down for that and want more. Or are too afraid to hurt their partners feelings to ask for what they saw. But would they ever even want that if the evil internet didn't seduce them?
(0)
(0)
1
1
0
It can work and have a place if that is what the couple wants and works at.
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
I think today's society allows for monogamy, how I feel is completely opposite. I do not believe it has a place.
I have seen open relationships work, so I do not think that is the issue. The true issue is society and people today as a whole are so different from people in the 80s and even 90s.
I have seen open relationships work, so I do not think that is the issue. The true issue is society and people today as a whole are so different from people in the 80s and even 90s.
(1)
(0)
SSG Richard Reilly
Sorry a little confused. You don't believe monogamy has a place?
I can't see an open relationship working. At some point someone will get butt hurt, jealous or territorial. It's human nature to want more, but it's also human nature to defend what you have.
I can't see an open relationship working. At some point someone will get butt hurt, jealous or territorial. It's human nature to want more, but it's also human nature to defend what you have.
(0)
(0)
SrA Johnathan Kropke
Like I said, society allows for it and I have seen it successful....personally I do not care for it nor believe it should be in society, but like I said the latter part is my personal belief and not what is true in the world.
(1)
(0)
0
0
0
My brothers and I were raised in a family that believed in traditional marriage. AFAIK, my parents generation (7 couples total) had only one divorce. Marriage was/is for life. The 3 of us all are in long, healthy marriages. My wife and I have 45 years together. A good marriage takes a lot of work, many compromises, and the mutual agreement not to give up. In our case, strong Christian faith has been a huge factor. None of the "open" marriages that we have observed over the years have survived - I don't think that humans are designed that way.
(0)
(0)
0
0
0
Monogamy is possible if the minds of both participants are girded with the right info. Pride and insecurity are destroying marriages.
(0)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google