Is 'Spouse rank' real? Is there a place for it in the military? What are your experiences ... good or bad?

SSG (Join to see)

While it is true that military spouses have no rank (and I abhor those who think they do), they sometimes have positions of authority/responsibility due their spouse's position. An example would be a battalion commander's spouse being the leader of the Battalion Family Support Group or Officers' Wives Group. However, while they may hold that position, nobody is compelled to follow their "orders".

I think what is most important is experience. My wife and I married when I was a Major at Fort Leavenworth. That means she missed the entire formative company grade experience of being a commander's wife and seeing the military in the pre-COIN era. There are questions military spouses have that need answers and often they can only come from other spouses. A lot of it has to do with formalities and expectations, especially on the officer side of the house. Enlisted begin to see it at the E8 level and definitely at the E9 level. There are things that my wife is telling me that she wished someone had told her 2 years ago or 5 years ago. She believes that she has missed opportunities and requirements based on her lack of experience. While I don't think spouses have rank or should wield it that way, a great example is our Division Commander's wife. She holds monthly get-togethers to discuss what she has seen and experienced in the military and the BN CDR's wives are learning a lot. That experience matters.