Posted on Mar 24, 2015
Military Networking Site not a Dating Site. Thoughts?
55.7K
420
185
19
19
0
Ok, I have noticed this from a lot of fellow Rallypoint members. I noticed a few people said they had to change there pictures due to people hitting on them. I thought this site was about networking to help further our careers.
Should there be penalties for people that do such things? It is a form of harassment is it not? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Should there be penalties for people that do such things? It is a form of harassment is it not? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Networking
Military Life
Professionalism
Dating
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 81
5
5
0
Yeah I never put a picture up to avoid this. I mean now I only get offers to help a prince in Nigeria. I can't wait for him to get here and give me back the $100,000 I gave him with the 100% interest.
Bet you think this song is about you....don't you!?
Bet you think this song is about you....don't you!?
(5)
(0)
SSG Richard Reilly
I do want to say I post one Carly Simon song reference and mostly females liked it. Stop stalking me ladies. I can't control how awesome my mind works. Note 2 out of 3 is mostly. Now back to my supermodel wife, who I am teaching karate, while vacationing in the Bahamas on my private Yacht. I am the most interesting man on the internet...Boom. AND that song IS about me.
(1)
(0)
(0)
(0)
5
5
0
First, let me say that I've been out of the dating game for 29 years, and have been out of the Army for about 10 years and 2 weeks. I'm likely a bit rusty concerning what "hitting on" means as well as what the regs say. But here goes.
As I understand it, "hitting on" means suggesting one is interested in getting to know another, or may manifest as a compliment, perhaps with the intent of fostering a relationship in the future if there turns out to be mutual interest. I can't imagine there's anything inherently wrong with this activity, barring any regulations regarding inter-rank, or some other defined form of fraternization.
Forgive my saying so, but it's been my impression throughout life that that's how people meet one another.
Now, if the party "hit" upon makes it clear there is no interest, and the "hitting upon" persists.... There lies a problem. NOW we're talking about harassment. I think it's important to define our terms in order to be properly understood.
If I'm off base regarding any of this, I welcome any corrections or constructive criticism.
As I understand it, "hitting on" means suggesting one is interested in getting to know another, or may manifest as a compliment, perhaps with the intent of fostering a relationship in the future if there turns out to be mutual interest. I can't imagine there's anything inherently wrong with this activity, barring any regulations regarding inter-rank, or some other defined form of fraternization.
Forgive my saying so, but it's been my impression throughout life that that's how people meet one another.
Now, if the party "hit" upon makes it clear there is no interest, and the "hitting upon" persists.... There lies a problem. NOW we're talking about harassment. I think it's important to define our terms in order to be properly understood.
If I'm off base regarding any of this, I welcome any corrections or constructive criticism.
(5)
(0)
SPC Donald Moore
SSG Gerhard S. , You are absolutely correct in you r assessment, however, it has gotten to the point in this day that some people see it as harassment to even acknowledge that there is a reason to get to know them in the first place.
It is, I think, over sensitivity.
It is, I think, over sensitivity.
(1)
(0)
PV2 Violet Case
As I said earlier I am in agreement that to be told you are cute or pretty is not harassment in my book but rather a compliment. But as SSG Gerhard Seidel said if it persists then there is a problem. But most of us are grown ups and can handle our own. There are a few who may have trouble in this issue but it is a part of life. Normally even at my age I can not go anywhere without men paying attention and it makes not difference how many layers of clothes I have on it is as the radio announcer said when he asked the clerk at the store about me :who is that with the million dollar smile and is she married?" I thought that was cute actually when the clerk who was a friend told me.
(1)
(0)
I think it depends on the content. If it is nothing more than flattery I don't think if it is much an issue. I have fallen victim to "Man Love Mondays." If a female or male garners wanted attention I think they should be able block such a person. It is hard to ignore someone that send you endless messages.
(5)
(0)
1LT William Clardy
CPT (Join to see), if you think it's difficult for someone to ignore somebody sending them messages, you've never met my wife.
Also, I don't believe in showing constraints -- I always kept my handcuffs discretely tucked out of sight -- fully enclosed leather case, centered in the back.
Also, I don't believe in showing constraints -- I always kept my handcuffs discretely tucked out of sight -- fully enclosed leather case, centered in the back.
(2)
(0)
CPT (Join to see)
I think SSgt Joe V. said it best. SPC Angel Guma Just so you know as soon as it dips below 70 I looking for someone to spoon with.
(1)
(0)
5
5
0
This is the first time I have heard about it. To my knowledge, no one has even submitted a complaint to the help desk. PLEASE come forward and submit your complaints to the help desk. v/r, Uncle Mark
SFC Steven Borders , thanks for looking out for the community!
SFC Steven Borders , thanks for looking out for the community!
(5)
(0)
Suspended Profile
Col Michael Grubbs, Ph.D., LMFT-S. Not so much in jest . . . some others have mentioned concerns . . . but we are all pretty well insulated . . . so no problems. Hopefully we avoid adding profile element: available / not available / no way in h*ll. Warmest Regards, Sandy
1LT William Clardy
Wait!
Let me get this straight, Col Michael Grubbs, Ph.D., LMFT-S: All I need to get a rumor started is to get 1LT Sandy Annala to say something?
Wait'll I tell Marketing what I learned on the Internet today!
Let me get this straight, Col Michael Grubbs, Ph.D., LMFT-S: All I need to get a rumor started is to get 1LT Sandy Annala to say something?
Wait'll I tell Marketing what I learned on the Internet today!
(0)
(0)
5
5
0
It's probably best to avoid this, unless people become comfortable with each other and reach out to see if there is something more to it.
Harassment is Harassment. If the messages are rude, inappropriate, etc., report them and our admins will handle it.
Harassment is Harassment. If the messages are rude, inappropriate, etc., report them and our admins will handle it.
(5)
(0)
PV2 (Join to see)
Very well stated Cpl Anthony Pearson. People are adults and should know how to conduct themselves.
(1)
(0)
5
5
0
I would have to say that yes, there is human nature for men or women to say things "complimenting" or in some other cases "disrespectful" or crossing that line. I would assume everyone on RP can be adults and do the right thing. I don't see anything wrong with being nice with compliments here and there-- but as for harassment, that should be zero tolerance. And for those that don't know what harassment is, it's unwanted verbal gestures towards another person. (Unwanted meaning the person was asked to stop still continues. Other than that, I believe we all can be adults and professional servicemen and gals of the United States service ;-)
(5)
(0)
PO1 Cleve Ikaika Waiwaiole
I was gonna say service gals but i wasn't sure if there was a more proper way to say it ;-)
(2)
(0)
SPC Donald Moore
Proper usage should be service-member, male and/or female. There are no girls or gals in the military.
(1)
(0)
4
4
0
PV2 Violet Case
1LT Nick Kidwell I guess it makes it tough on a girl if she can not see if you are married or not. Many do not say. lol....But your picture looks fine to me.
(1)
(0)
1LT Nick Kidwell
PV2 Violet Case - In all honesty, my post was in jest. I'm not expecting any come-ons on this site and I chose my pic to reflect my military experiences.
Plus, I'm happily married. :)
Plus, I'm happily married. :)
(1)
(0)
PV2 Violet Case
That is good an honest man 1LT Nick Kidwell as I was trying to show people an example. #1 It does mean something to be in your uniform as you can see my profile is too. #2 there are some honest men out there. #3 it does not hurt to say someone looks nice in their picture does it? I do hope you were not feeling sexually harassed just by my comment. It is a habit that I have gotten into to at least throughout the day to try to say or do something to make someone feel good about themselves or something they do or have done. Especially to those who honorably deserve it. #4 Once throughout the day do something for myself for a short time to make me feel better about me. #5 If I can help either by email, phone or sight to try to leave a smile or laugh behind. #6 brain exercise of some kind for my memory. But never meaning to harass anyone to say they look good or pretty or handsome because we all have something good in us even if its deep in there and I want people to feel liked, loved and cared about in this case all we have to go on appearance is a picture.
(1)
(0)
1LT Nick Kidwell
I feel harassed. We need 16 hours of mandatory SHARP briefings and PPT presentations.
I nominate CPT (Join to see) to facilitate.
I'm still kidding, BTW. Except for the good LT to run the briefing. It might be to an empty room, but...
I nominate CPT (Join to see) to facilitate.
I'm still kidding, BTW. Except for the good LT to run the briefing. It might be to an empty room, but...
(1)
(0)
4
4
0
Um, the reason for the changes in pictures are due in large part to ISIS threats.
(4)
(0)
4
4
0
I'd say this is another example of the potential for low value content and bad behavior threatening the long term viability of the site by driving away quality users.
The answer is to use the tools given to us by the RP team, police our own, suggest new, good ideas to the RP team (like 'flag post' buttons) to better enhance the efforts of RP admins and the team. Above all set the example and do what you want to see here.
Ductus Exemplo.
EDIT: To be clear: The topic above is an important one to discuss and SFC Steven Borders did well to raise it. My intent with my commentary was to discuss the instances the OP mentions in which RP members have been propositioned or in some way made uncomfortable: and to exhort us to take care of our own by keeping it professional.
The answer is to use the tools given to us by the RP team, police our own, suggest new, good ideas to the RP team (like 'flag post' buttons) to better enhance the efforts of RP admins and the team. Above all set the example and do what you want to see here.
Ductus Exemplo.
EDIT: To be clear: The topic above is an important one to discuss and SFC Steven Borders did well to raise it. My intent with my commentary was to discuss the instances the OP mentions in which RP members have been propositioned or in some way made uncomfortable: and to exhort us to take care of our own by keeping it professional.
(4)
(0)
Capt Richard I P.
TSgt Hunter Logan It is possible, I miscommunicated. I've edited to clarify. I think this particular post on this topic is very high value. I think the conduct it addresses is an example of low value content, not this post itself.
People don't have to read what they don't want to, but they also deserve to be able to participate without being harassed. Big boy/girl rules always apply, but some bad actors invalidate that and have to be corrected.
I'm not opposed to humor (if you think I am you haven't found all my posts yet).
In my opinion it is also an entirely valid post.
Keep Ductus-ing that Exemplo.
People don't have to read what they don't want to, but they also deserve to be able to participate without being harassed. Big boy/girl rules always apply, but some bad actors invalidate that and have to be corrected.
I'm not opposed to humor (if you think I am you haven't found all my posts yet).
In my opinion it is also an entirely valid post.
Keep Ductus-ing that Exemplo.
(0)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google