Posted on Mar 24, 2015
Military Networking Site not a Dating Site. Thoughts?
55.7K
420
185
19
19
0
Ok, I have noticed this from a lot of fellow Rallypoint members. I noticed a few people said they had to change there pictures due to people hitting on them. I thought this site was about networking to help further our careers.
Should there be penalties for people that do such things? It is a form of harassment is it not? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Should there be penalties for people that do such things? It is a form of harassment is it not? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Edited >1 y ago
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 81
Meh...change your picture and/or simply say "Not interested". If someone is attractive, they get hit on. Unless you lock yourself in a closet and never come out, that's the way it's going to be.
When I say "hit on", I mean receive compliments and requests for attention that are polite and appropriate. Ex: "Wow, hi. You're pretty and I see we're stationed in the same town. Would you like to meet for coffee?" That isn't crude or distasteful. A simple yes or no should suffice. And before you say RP isn't a hookup site - you are right, it isn't. A grocery store or church aren't pickup bars either, but people meet romantic interests there all the time. I met my super hot and much younger wife of over 10 yrs on Everquest. :D
If you are receiving inappropriate comments that enter the realms of distasteful, uncivilized, or even sexual harassment - that's a different story. In that case, it doesn't matter where or how it happens, it's reportable and I would support anyone (male or female) that reported uninvited and unwanted comments that fall into the realm of sexual harassment. If not to the RP mods, report it up your chain. Remember the Navy guy that got hammered for posting on Twitter or FB that he was going to rape some Navy recruit. You can and will get hammered if you act like a moron on social media. People can and should report it.
Most importantly, I think people on both extreme sides just need to grow the f*** up. One side acts like a bunch of uncivilized primates that are either too crude or can't take no for an answer, and the other side is full of easily-offended, thin skinned pansies. Come to the middle where you can hit on someone with class and that person can tell you "not interested" without acting like they were just raped because you asked them out.
When I say "hit on", I mean receive compliments and requests for attention that are polite and appropriate. Ex: "Wow, hi. You're pretty and I see we're stationed in the same town. Would you like to meet for coffee?" That isn't crude or distasteful. A simple yes or no should suffice. And before you say RP isn't a hookup site - you are right, it isn't. A grocery store or church aren't pickup bars either, but people meet romantic interests there all the time. I met my super hot and much younger wife of over 10 yrs on Everquest. :D
If you are receiving inappropriate comments that enter the realms of distasteful, uncivilized, or even sexual harassment - that's a different story. In that case, it doesn't matter where or how it happens, it's reportable and I would support anyone (male or female) that reported uninvited and unwanted comments that fall into the realm of sexual harassment. If not to the RP mods, report it up your chain. Remember the Navy guy that got hammered for posting on Twitter or FB that he was going to rape some Navy recruit. You can and will get hammered if you act like a moron on social media. People can and should report it.
Most importantly, I think people on both extreme sides just need to grow the f*** up. One side acts like a bunch of uncivilized primates that are either too crude or can't take no for an answer, and the other side is full of easily-offended, thin skinned pansies. Come to the middle where you can hit on someone with class and that person can tell you "not interested" without acting like they were just raped because you asked them out.
(26)
(0)
SSG (Join to see)
The only thing I would add/change is the term "uninvited". I don't like it in real life Army training/policies either (but do abide by and enforce it when applicable, and it's not really relevant because I am married).
In my opinion the initial "hitting on" action, as long as the action itself isn't inappropriate and a "no" response is taken graciously as no and then left alone, doesn't need to be "invited". If that were the case, the person "inviting" the behavior would be violating this rule and nobody would ever get together with anyone else, EVER.
For the people who are soooo attractive that even if all the opposite sex followed the above guidelines it would still come up annoyingly often, I guess it sucks to be you. :)
In my opinion the initial "hitting on" action, as long as the action itself isn't inappropriate and a "no" response is taken graciously as no and then left alone, doesn't need to be "invited". If that were the case, the person "inviting" the behavior would be violating this rule and nobody would ever get together with anyone else, EVER.
For the people who are soooo attractive that even if all the opposite sex followed the above guidelines it would still come up annoyingly often, I guess it sucks to be you. :)
(4)
(0)
SGT Allison Churchill
I agree 99 percent with you, MSgt (Join to see)--but I think if someone is going to approach someone on a professional website, don't bring up looks. Say something about a comment they made. If you find each other physically attractive, you'll figure it out.
(0)
(0)
I heard the same thing about LinkedIn.
I am all for stamping out sexism and no tolerance for harrassment, but we can not eliminate some of what is just human nature.
Men are visual, and when we see a picture of an attractive woman, we are going to click on it, wonder if she is married (for those that even care) and wonder if she is stationed near us. We are going to wonder if, upon seeing our picture, thought the same thing.
It is similar to studies where people deemed attractive are going to have an easier time getting jobs, pay raises, promotions, assistance, etc etc.
YOu can try and manage this, but it might be wasted efffort to try and completely supress it.
what I hate...when guys do this, it kills the purpose of sites such as RP or LI, and then people stop going on there, and the opportunity is gone.
I am all for stamping out sexism and no tolerance for harrassment, but we can not eliminate some of what is just human nature.
Men are visual, and when we see a picture of an attractive woman, we are going to click on it, wonder if she is married (for those that even care) and wonder if she is stationed near us. We are going to wonder if, upon seeing our picture, thought the same thing.
It is similar to studies where people deemed attractive are going to have an easier time getting jobs, pay raises, promotions, assistance, etc etc.
YOu can try and manage this, but it might be wasted efffort to try and completely supress it.
what I hate...when guys do this, it kills the purpose of sites such as RP or LI, and then people stop going on there, and the opportunity is gone.
(20)
(0)
PV2 (Join to see)
Well stated Sir. I will also add that some women are visual too and enjoy a picture of an attractive man as well. ;-)
I think being professional and polite usually handles it. I haven't encountered anyone on here looking for a "hookup". I think to some degree just like any other site, when you encounter someone like-minded with shared interests, it can naturally happen. On the same vein, we are adults and have the capability to control our urges and hormones too.
I think being professional and polite usually handles it. I haven't encountered anyone on here looking for a "hookup". I think to some degree just like any other site, when you encounter someone like-minded with shared interests, it can naturally happen. On the same vein, we are adults and have the capability to control our urges and hormones too.
(8)
(0)
SSG V. Michelle Woods
"I will also add that some women are visual too and enjoy a picture of an attractive man as well" bahahahahaha!!! I love you PV2 (Join to see)!
And for those who may see this as me "hitting on" her, relax. All is well :)
And for those who may see this as me "hitting on" her, relax. All is well :)
(12)
(0)
MSgt (Join to see)
Wait a second... You mean to tell me that I came into this place under the wrong assumptions?
(0)
(0)
MAJ (Join to see)
SSG Robert Burns, SHARP? SHARP did you say? Well now, just let me upload my slide deck... how ever shall we manage the sign-in roster for this block of instruction?
(3)
(0)
Married White Male, in a committed relationship, likely to end in divorce, physical mutilation and mysterious disappearance should users respond to this ad in a manner not intended.
Is seeking Friends with few benefits... Male, female, other.. gender not important... Must be attractive...or kind of attractive, or at least clean and drug free, prefer non smoker. Must be open minded.. things can get kinky.. need to have an open mind, think outside the box to come up with solutions to unkink things that get kinked. Looking for a swap party....... One month we do a bike maintenance work party in my shop, next month in yours. Alcohol allowed only after the sweating, grunting, major physical exertion, lubes & oils and tools are put away.
If you're interested must send full frontal and side view naked pictures ...............................................................................................................................................of your bike..need to see it without fairings to prove your real, you own a bike and at least own the tools and knowledge to take them off.
Is seeking Friends with few benefits... Male, female, other.. gender not important... Must be attractive...or kind of attractive, or at least clean and drug free, prefer non smoker. Must be open minded.. things can get kinky.. need to have an open mind, think outside the box to come up with solutions to unkink things that get kinked. Looking for a swap party....... One month we do a bike maintenance work party in my shop, next month in yours. Alcohol allowed only after the sweating, grunting, major physical exertion, lubes & oils and tools are put away.
If you're interested must send full frontal and side view naked pictures ...............................................................................................................................................of your bike..need to see it without fairings to prove your real, you own a bike and at least own the tools and knowledge to take them off.
(13)
(0)
Wait...you mean I am not going to meet cute military singles here. Darn popup advertisements.
Really I think there should be something done if it's happening. It's one thing to view someone's profile, it's another to send them messages bothering them about it.
Really I think there should be something done if it's happening. It's one thing to view someone's profile, it's another to send them messages bothering them about it.
(9)
(0)
SFC Steven Borders, I would like to see an example of where this has actually happened. I think you were eager to start a topic to get the points.
As usual there's the crowd that chimes in on UCMJ this and professionalism that. This site can be used for both socializing and for professional inquiries/mentoring. There must be a serious void in the actual lives of some military members when they need RP to be the leader they may not be in real life.
If there is anybody getting hit on then it shouldn't be an infraction of site rules unless it crosses over to harassment. The fact is men and women are sometimes attracted to each other. It's what propagates the species. In this overly PC/no spine military we have today it's a capital crime to look at a woman. Personally hitting on anyone is the last reason I come to RP. My wife gets pissed when I date.
As usual there's the crowd that chimes in on UCMJ this and professionalism that. This site can be used for both socializing and for professional inquiries/mentoring. There must be a serious void in the actual lives of some military members when they need RP to be the leader they may not be in real life.
If there is anybody getting hit on then it shouldn't be an infraction of site rules unless it crosses over to harassment. The fact is men and women are sometimes attracted to each other. It's what propagates the species. In this overly PC/no spine military we have today it's a capital crime to look at a woman. Personally hitting on anyone is the last reason I come to RP. My wife gets pissed when I date.
(8)
(0)
(4)
(0)
SrA Marc Haynes
Yes and the sad part is Uncle Mark is still a newlywed. I think we should all chip in for Geritol/Viagra infusions.
(2)
(0)
PV2 Violet Case
well SrA Marc Haynes, I've been living there for awhile not because of age or anything because of choice. But you look cute enough to me. Just saying not sure why you would go to the virgin islands unless looking for a virgin good luck in your ventures there. And as for the viagra I have been studying health foods all he has to do they claim is eat a couple of slices of watermelon but be sure the green too for blender smoothie. lol
(2)
(0)
Suspended Profile
As of this post- not one comment (out of 43) from a woman user. I find that interesting and wanted to share.
That is all.
That is all.
CMSgt (Join to see)
SSG Christopher Adame
I noticed the same thing. I was going to post earlier, but no matter what one says, it seems like fishing for compliments or an ego-boost. E.g., "I never get anyone hit on me." or "I always have this happen what I do is fix bayonets promptly." :)
For record, I have not had this happen. Excuse me while I go weep shamelessly. Ha.
I noticed the same thing. I was going to post earlier, but no matter what one says, it seems like fishing for compliments or an ego-boost. E.g., "I never get anyone hit on me." or "I always have this happen what I do is fix bayonets promptly." :)
For record, I have not had this happen. Excuse me while I go weep shamelessly. Ha.
(2)
(0)
Suspended Profile
CMSgt (Join to see) , same here. Guess I have to put a better picture up, maybe an action shot. Lol!
Suspended Profile
Hahaha TSgt Hunter Logan , I posted this early on in the discussion. And I checked, thoroughly verified before stating.
Read This Next
Networking
Military Life
Professionalism
Dating

