Posted on Jan 28, 2020
My recruiter is pressuring me to do something I’m not comfortable with, how can I go about this?
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This a bit of a long backstory but I really need some advice. My husband was in the Marines and finished his four year contract last year. We have a two year old boy and I always wanted to join the military but I didn’t believe it was possible due to finally settling in for the first time with my husband and both of us attending school. I decided to join the reserves because not only would I be able to finally join and do my part as much as I could but also go to college and receive my degree. My husband and I finally met with a navy recruiter and everything seems to go smoothly, I passed the pre asvab and we initially started the paperwork for me to go to meps. Fast forward a few weeks later I finally go to meps, I passed my medical and asvab and was waiting to choose my job and swear In that day until my recruiter mentioned that there were 0 jobs available for me and saidI have two options, I can either swear in with an active duty contract and once a reserve job opens I can switch back to reserve and that would be it. Option 2 he said that I can simply wait for a reserve job opening and it shouldn’t take long because so many people back out or new jobs open up and I shouldn’t worry about that. I decided I’d wait because I did not feel comfortable swearing in active. Fast forward two weeks later he texts me saying a heads up that reserve jobs might open Friday and I said great. A few days later he sends a message telling me I should really switch the contract temporarily to active and he and his supervisors promise me I will not leave active, I proceed to say I’m not comfortable with the idea I’d much rather wait and he starts escalating with me saying he can even talk with me and my husband if that’s the case and I simply decline over the idea and then says to me “I’m not in the business of screwing people over” and “I don’t make promises I can’t keep. Just letting you know.” It surprised me because not only did he mention he hates his recruiting duty and he can’t wait to leave to do his actual job, but he also said to my husband a few weeks before that he hates promising things to people. My recruiter then said he scheduled me for meps to do the contract and I told him I wasn’t comfortable then he replied “Alright then, my supervisor will probably give you a call because I already scheduled.” I proceed to get mad of how this even occurred and how he scheduled me in within the 10 minutes or less of speaking with him. My husband advised me to not respond to any of that or else he’s only going to push more. Supervisor then calls me but I couldn’t answer due to being in class and that was that for that day. The following day the recruiter sends another text saying “did my boss give you a call?” “Also good morning” I was baffled that he still didn’t realize the problem I was placed in and still seems like he is making me speak to his supervisor to pressure me. Is there anything I can do? I still have not responded, I don’t feel comfortable even going back to the recruiting station because they are all in this pressure I’m being placed in. Is there a way to ignore it for him to realize I haven’t fallen into this pressure? Or should I try a different recruiter? I had told him previously that I’m not picky with my reserve job either so I don’t feel like I’m causing a problem, he just wants me to switch to temporary active duty and swear in active but I don’t want to do it.
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Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 39
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Let's see if this recruiter is on rallypoint. So that we can all ask him some questions
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Last time I checked there were recruiters who specialized in guard/reserve enlistments. Many guard/reserve units have a recruiter on site in the armory/reserve center. Do some research and find one of those in your area. I find it hard, no impossible, to believe that there are no openings in the reserves. especially in light of the fact that you don't really care what specialty you go into. This guy is feeding you a line of BS. He probably gets more brownie points for an active recruit than for a guard/reserve recruit. RUN FORREST RUN!!!!
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Ella Diaz
I am! I’m cutting contact with this recruiter, it does seem hard to believe that they had 0 job opening for me and I feel like even if there truly wasn’t, the fact that he pressured me only two weeks later after going to meps is absolutely insane. It would be more understanding if months passed and still no job but it was only two weeks.
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With all due respect, recruiters are salesmen looking to fill a quota and, unfortunately, some bend the truth to fill that quota. This is the last time you are fully in control of your status with the Navy. You owe the recruiter nothing but honesty. Don't sign anything until the contract says exactly what you want it to say. Verbal assurances mean nothing. Once you sign, you, and the Navy, are legally obligated to fulfill the terms of the contract...make the recruiter explain anything you don't understand and if you aren't comfortable ask to see their superiors.
I just went through the enlisting process with my grandson, and what the recruiters finally put in front of him was not what I asked for or he wanted. First I put on my old Colonel's demeanor and brought back memories of what I once was with the supervisor that was behind the recruiter, then spent an extensive amount of time with my grandson explaining his future to him, according to the contract, before I let him sign.
I just went through the enlisting process with my grandson, and what the recruiters finally put in front of him was not what I asked for or he wanted. First I put on my old Colonel's demeanor and brought back memories of what I once was with the supervisor that was behind the recruiter, then spent an extensive amount of time with my grandson explaining his future to him, according to the contract, before I let him sign.
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Ella Diaz
Unfortunately after deep explanation from my recruiter and me understanding the process of what he wanted me to do, he didn’t respect it and kept insisting for his supervisors along with the other recruiters in the office to convince me. His supervisor called me and I didn’t answer at the time due to being in my college class. He then texted me the following day asking if his boss called and I did not respond because he became more angry along with making angry responses towards me telling me that he’s not in the business of screwing with people. I’d understand this response if I was accusing him of something wrong if he’s trying to help me but I don’t feel the need to swear in active until a reserve job opens. He didn’t say anything of a written contract saying he would fulfill this “promise” he just said he and the rest of the recruiters promise me it won’t happen. I don’t trust it considering he is leaving in the summer from recruiting duty and can care less what happens to me after that point.
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Fire this joker and find a new recruiter. He is not worried about your career or your needs. He is trying to fill his quota.
You right now are in the position of power. You aren’t requiring a drug or felony waiver. You have good scores. You can pass a physical. You are female. You are checking a lot of boxes for this recruiter and I’m sure an active duty recruit gets him more than a reserves recruit. Walk away. Get another recruiter and ask all your information to be transferred to the new recruiter. The new recruiter will be thrilled all the hard work is over. He would just need to get you through MEPS and your job selected to get you going.
I fired a couple recruiters when going reserves. I had a good one and kept working with him (lots of ups and downs. Some his fault, some mine, and some the army) and commissioned after almost 3 years. I remember right before I was going to MEPS the last time another recruiter called me saying “hey sir we got a call you were interested in joining the medical program for the army reserves” and he was trying to steal my recruiter’s recruit after all the work had been done.
Recruiting has to be one of the hardest jobs in the military in this day and age!
You right now are in the position of power. You aren’t requiring a drug or felony waiver. You have good scores. You can pass a physical. You are female. You are checking a lot of boxes for this recruiter and I’m sure an active duty recruit gets him more than a reserves recruit. Walk away. Get another recruiter and ask all your information to be transferred to the new recruiter. The new recruiter will be thrilled all the hard work is over. He would just need to get you through MEPS and your job selected to get you going.
I fired a couple recruiters when going reserves. I had a good one and kept working with him (lots of ups and downs. Some his fault, some mine, and some the army) and commissioned after almost 3 years. I remember right before I was going to MEPS the last time another recruiter called me saying “hey sir we got a call you were interested in joining the medical program for the army reserves” and he was trying to steal my recruiter’s recruit after all the work had been done.
Recruiting has to be one of the hardest jobs in the military in this day and age!
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Dont sign anything you're uncomfortable with, it sounds bad but promises made by recruiters are generally as worthless as anything could possibly get. If what you want isn't in writing, don't sign. Period.
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Ella Diaz
Yeah I’ll try to find another recruiter, I went to meps two weeks ago and it’s not like I’ve been waiting months for a reserve job and he got frustrated, it’s only two weeks yet he’s making it seem like I’m stupid for not choosing this. Since my medical is basically fresh I’ll just research other stations to go
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He is trying to meet his quota and knows you are close. I would refuse to work with that recruiter any more. Tell this to the supervisor and if he wants to keep pressing the issue, then be done with both of them and move on. If the recruiter can't get what he's saying put in a contract, then all he's doing is blowing smoke.
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As a former recruiter I have never done such a think switching one from an active contact to a reserve. I have never heard such a thing; however, it is possible to do that since ones do change their mind. Keep in mind that their are two swear in one as a poole and the other going off to boot camp. The first one is just a preliminary one and not binding, you would be discharged none will effect you until that last swear in.
I would stick to your guns and as a grad you may choose any other service you wish; however, that navy recruiter is yours if you choose to join even if you speak to a different recruiter in that office only.
I would stick to your guns and as a grad you may choose any other service you wish; however, that navy recruiter is yours if you choose to join even if you speak to a different recruiter in that office only.
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Ella Diaz
Well I literally went two weeks ago for my medical and testing so I don’t think much has changed for me, he did say the medical and asvab lasts for two years SSgt John Wise
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Hey So I’m currently Active Duty Army but several years ago was interested in the Navy but ended up not commuting to it, but my navy Recuirter was great compared to my army recruiter. So when I went to join the army I did my research on exactly what jobs I qualified for and what jobs I wanted, when they tried to push me into jobs and contracts I didn’t want I simply stood my ground and said, “No, I want X job with X options. And I will wait for them to open up.” In my position I had to wait 7 months to enlist but the point is simply stick to your guns and NEVER sign anything you do not explicitly want. Just tell them straight up this what I want and I’m willing to wait for it. If they say “we can’t work with you” then go to another recruit. Pro tip, military new year starts October, if you can wait till then the new jobs always open up end of September to beginning of October. Also since you are in college look into ROTC options there are ROTC options for the reserve as well and if I knew more of them I would’ve gone that route.
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Ella Diaz
It’s insane that I did stand my ground and yet they brushed it off as if I am obligated to say yes to them. He even kept telling me that his boss will call me. I know he will either threaten me into doing it or else I can’t join or he will paint it nicely for me. I haven’t signed a contract or anything other than passing meps so I don’t feel like I’m forced to listen to them at all. Yeah he mentioned at meps that October is usually when jobs start to become available for me, I don’t mind waiting I’m sure that my medical doesn’t expire for another two years, I believe is what he said. I have been patient and don’t mind, it’s just him and his supervisors who are making me feel discouraged into being able to join even though there’s nothing wrong with what I did.
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PFC (Join to see)
Ella Diaz Well it sounds like your head is in the right place, recruiters are just pushy to get a certain number in certain jobs. Don’t sign on the line and you’re good, if he stops working with you feel free to call your next closest recruiter and tell them what happened. Best of luck to you!
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Don’t go active if you don’t want to! If you haven’t signed a contract with the Navy then you have several options:
-forget the whole thing and tell these jerks to pound sand
-talk to recruiters from other services
-talk to Army and Air Force National Guard recruiters
Remember when talking to any recruiter:
-they are sales people working on a quota
-nothing they say is worth anything unless it’s also in writing
-forget the whole thing and tell these jerks to pound sand
-talk to recruiters from other services
-talk to Army and Air Force National Guard recruiters
Remember when talking to any recruiter:
-they are sales people working on a quota
-nothing they say is worth anything unless it’s also in writing
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Ella Diaz
I still would really like to do navy, but I’ll try to find a specific reserve recruiter because I don’t feel comfortable going back to that office again. You are right they also didn’t mention anything in writing. They “pinky promised” me and I’m not falling for it
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Two things, if it's not in writing it didn't happen. Second thing, when you leave for Active Duty you are assigned a report date, which you report to MEPS at approximately 0500. You'll go through a final physical check, and ensure you haven't had any legal actions pop up since you first signed up, then you go in to the swearing-in room and you get sworn in to active duty the day you are to leave for Boot Camp. You ARE NOT on active duty until you do that second swearing in. The Reserves are broken, and that doesn't matter what branch, the only exception is the Coast Guard. My strongest recommendation is to get out of that and look in to the Air National Guard, it is one of the best kept secrets in the entire military realm, but rank is extremely difficult to obtain. I can give you many reasons why this is my pick, but too you'd fall asleep before you finished reading it.
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SFC Howard Holmes
You're welcome Ella. Do your research, and when a recruiter wants to jiggle paperwork, he's trying to reach his mission objective, he is buying himself some time. If he's not meeting his mission numbers, his NCOIC, or CO might be riding his tail and he's trying to get names on the board. Always be careful when a recruiter wants to put you in on a juggling act. Good Luck Ella.
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Have you gone to your local Navy Reserve station and spoken to a Reserve recruiter? Sounds like you spoke to an active duty recruiter and all he gets points for is active duty accessions. Try your local Navy & Marine Corps Reserve Center.
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Ella Diaz
The way this began was because I went on the navy website and contacted the representatives and they had given me the number, they knew I wanted to join reserves and I was confused because it didn’t make sense why there are some reserve stations and regular but they said it was fine for me to go see him. They said it would be ok and i agreed because they wouldn’t give me a reserve recruiting number and as I looked one up it was very far from me. I’m going to speak with a reserve recruiter even if it means I’ll drive 25 miles away
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Tell the recruiter that your retired 4 star admiral named uncle William McRaven will be giving him and his supervisor a call. Tell them make sure to pick up the phone. Like everyone else said, don't sign active duty contract. Once you in, there is no turning back........
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I agree with the LTC. Find yourself a new recruiter. But with that being said a contract doesn't guarantee anything. The military has ways around that. They will do with you as they see fit so you better be prepared to be activated and if it doesn't happen than fine but with our current situation there is a good chance. Just listen to your gut and you'll be fine.
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Do not believe him - It is not that easy to go from Active to Reserve - you have to have a reason and a recruiter's word is not it. If you sign a contract for x years of AD Navy - you are obligated to that until they either release you on their terms or you finish out the contract. I served in the Navy - AD and then after a 10 year break went into the Army Guard - it wasn't a good fit and I started to look for a slot in the legal field since I had my paralegal degree and I was working as a paralegal. There were not any in my state, so I started look at the Air Force Reserve or Guard - I found a slot in the Air Guard and it took 6 months for my paperwork to process for the Army to release me and the Air to pick me up.
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Sounds like this guy's jerking you around. I'd tell him that you're no longer interested. Then don't reply to him when he keeps trying to contact you, because he probably will.
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Once you sign an active contract you are active. He probably means you cane switch to reserve after your active contract ends.
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Ella Diaz
Unfortunately no. He literally meant he would switch me before I leave to bootcamp which doesn’t seem right
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Call or write your Senator. Preferable one on the Armed Services Committee if one is.
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