Parents, how do you get through deployment while being separated from your children?

PO1 Shahida Marmol Great question! It is always tough to be away from your children for over 12 month period during a deployment. I just sent them emails when I could and made sure that I sent them letters asking about their month and what they were up to in school, etc. My youngest daughter actually spent some in the hospital when she fell off a trampoline and broke here femur - it was tough not to be there for her, but I got pictures of her in the hospital with a big cast all the way up her leg. The reunion when you get back is unforgettable. Now they are off to college and I get to see them once or twice a year again. It’s just the same when I see them - a real reunion.

You think about them, send them some surprises and cards and pictures every so often. Luckily we have the internet and plenty of communications to also have real time conversations when we can. On the flip side you try to bury yourself in work and extra circular activities so the limited down time does not get too lonely.

Show them the good. Be cognitive of their feelings while your gone.

I tell people to keep their family involved. Explain that you will be gone but while your gone let them plan what vacation or purchase they want and it will help pass the time.

Thinking about your loves ones back home is what gets you through deployments.

I agree with MSgt Borders. Family reunions definitely were what get me sane while deployed.

That is a great question. I am on my second deployment while being a parent. My daughter is almost 7. But I would try as hard as you can to still be a part of their life. I bought a pack of cards for different occasions and use them when needed. So when a birthday comes around I have a card on the way. Or when they are sick I can send a get well card. Email is great but giving them something tangible is best. They will feel the connection since it came from you. Call often and spend time talking to them. Also send them stuff. I am in the Middle East so I can buy stuff and send it home. One day my daughter told me wife that I love her more because I send her more stuff than my I send my wife. I wife loved it. My daughter really felt loved and that I was giving her all the attention I could. Still playing a significant role is crucial. Just because we aren't there doesn't be we can't still be parents.

Technology is great! With some kids, you can play online games with them which includes chat and sometimes voice programs. There are activities hosted in some MWR areas when you can get a DVD of yourself reading a book to your child. Skype and messenger programs keeps eye-to-eye contact available. Then there is the oldest method: free mail out of a deployment area. Writing letters not only feels cathartic but it also starts a family record. Someday a great-grandchild will get to know you through these letters.

I spent the first 4 years of my sons life deployed. Gut wrenching every time I came home and had to watch him run down the driveway in his diapers arms out and crying. Still saddens me 5 years later. The best thing that helped me cope was my internet connection and Skype. When I had no internet I called home either on my cell phone. Amazing how good the reception is with AT&T, the bills were with the ability to communicate and tell my son and wife I love them and thinking of them.

He would ask me repeatedly how long will you be gone. I finally told him x # days and a wake up. I asked him if he could keep track. This way he had something to look forward to and each day meant we were getting closer to seeing each other.

Although we used technology, I like the vintage paper and pen. It seemed fun to get a letter from mom. My husband also planned a lot of day trips to keep the girls (yes, 3 girls) engaged and on track until R&R and the end of deployment. Also FRG which were run mostly by men was amazing. They planned trips together and established new friendships.