Retired E8-E9, should your status be used as a bully platform?

I was on the opposite side of the spectrum. I was everything a applicant to the service academies was supposed to be, except I was reckless. Brought home by law enforcement a lot; not for illegal things, but dangerous "what could go wrong" stupid things. And I would not walk away from a fight, no matter how bad the odds, and lost way more of those fights than I won. Plus I had a serious problem with authority, I was always looking to embarrass whoever was in charge.

My Dad was a Navy Flag Officer and told the Navy Blue and Gold officer not to waste his time because I was "a walking Bad Conduct or Dishonorable Discharge." Don't get me wrong, Dad and I had a great relationship, he just thought the military and I would get along like nitro-glycerin and vibration. He even sent a letter to my states service academy applicant interview board saying I wouldn't make it through Plebe Summer, let alone Plebe year. Dad wasn't against his boys serving in the military, he was Gung Ho about my brother serving, but he thought a tour in the military would leave me unemployable.

I know I’m no E-8 or E-9 or above. However; I will answer this respectfully.

I feel this entire read is very offensive towards any of your peers or your seniors. As such I feel you very well could have put this across a lot better.

It doesn’t make it right to use any title/rank as a means to support your child who has decided to enter the military as a means to accelerate their career. I feel this is fraternization in the highest degree and should be handled as such. Just because their child has decided to go into the military doesn’t mean they need to influence their enlistment/commission in any way. Their child chose to enter the military to make their mark - LET THEM.

Respectfully yours,

Not an E-8 or above nobody. Lol

Way to absolutely destroy any modicum of credibility one may have scraped together over the years!

I served with a guy who’s father is a 3 star. Our leadership would use it to bully him

nope everyone has to earn their own way & respect of his/her follows that he or she serves with. doesn't matter what his or her Grand farther or farther did in service to our country. not everyone can fill the shoe's of the farther. or some can fill them better. but no one should get treated for his Farther's deed's or misdeed's

No preferences at all to be allowed for any of them no matter who. That goes for E or O grades and polititions. No deferents unless medically warrented. That even goes for the draft to include the ladies. In fact have a mandatory active duty requirement in place. I could go on and on but no time or space to put it all down. All officers should do at least a minimum four years as an enlisted and no special anything except be considered only after the fours being at having reached E5 and genuinely rated superior with no blind eyes to pass by during consideration and performance

1SG: I don't think anyone should get a pass for being the son or daughter of a service member. We do the right thing regardless of our affiliations. Professional courtesies are sometimes extended and there is nothing wrong with that as long as special favor is not extended or implied in those interchanges. Thanks for the interesting question. COL L

Wow! I couldn’t imagine asking for a favor for my son! And he’d be truly p.o.’d if I did! My husband and son are both active duty, they both have the mindset that they are here to protect this great nation. Neither one of them want special treatment.

Of course all of your questions are rhetorical and don't really need an answer but here goes nonetheless. My stepson and daughter in law are both in the military and if anything, I'm probably harder on them than their own unit. Not so much directly implied but I believe they are given "special" treatment because of my (R) status. I ensure that they know that they have to work harder than their fellow Soldier's to get to where they want to be. Nothing is going to be handed to you.......

Stay out of ur child life, let them make their own way and find their own path whether military or civilian. It's not ur job to micro manage their lives. Ur child and his, or grandchild needs to find their path through all of the clutter in life's journey!

Never, should that be the case... what you earn is yours alone... your offspring has to earn theirs!

No, no and no. From my point of view they are already under enough pressure not to screw up. Personally I know my Son would not have it, even thought having served for 30 years I know my way around the system very well. Sad to say, I've seen many counterparts trying to influence the system in their kids behalf, both in the enlisted and particularly officer side. Their parents actions caused more problems than helped the junior service member as eventually the word gets out regarding the special treatment if any.

No, just no!

Personally I believe every person entering the military should be treated fairly and the same. It shouldn't take a Drill SGT long to determine the strengths/weaknesses of the recruits in his platoon.
A number of years ago there were incidents in the Officer Corps where parental meddling caused BIG
problems for the officers involved and their service branch. A number of years ago a young female 1LT was selected to be the first female pilot trained to fly the B-52 bomber. Her future career might have included STARS had she not let her ego and a swelled head trip her up. She developed a close, personal relationship with a male civilian who worked for the AF at her base. Okay, so-what!? The
guy was married to a female enlisted member at the same base. The EM first told her husband and
then the Pilot to END IT! The female Pilot wouldn't give IT UP. It was on record the APs were called
to the Pilot's quarters over domestic disturbances (between Pilot & Civ.). The female EM tried to keep the problem "In family". She wanted the relationship ended but didn't want anyone's career hurt. The Pilot and Civ. must have swallowed magnets. They couldn't/wouldn't stay away from each other!
The EM finally went to her Senior NCO. This is when things heated up. The Pilot case went to a Courts Martial and her Dear Old Dad, a retired AF COL stood behind her by hiring lawyers. It went
to the female pilot. It ended when the Sec. of the AF (a female) had to step in. Can't remember the
type of Discharge the Pilot finally accepted but it wasn't Honorable. The Navy has had problems also.

I'd love to know the outcome of this. Personally, my own father is too passive-aggressive to outright meddle, but he did try to influence my decisions by nagging at me a lot.

well, this is....Interesting. it is obviously a fellow RP member. but that is irrelevant. The answer is quite obvious, absolutely not. You do not piss in anothers yard, ever. second, they are retired, as in, no longer holding an active rank in the military, so, that former NCO can pound sand. You 1SG, are in charge of personnel for your company, and as such, have the special trust and confidence of the nation to prepare your troops to fight and win on the battlefield. If that means the retiree's son has to deploy, then that is what is going to happen. To the Senior NCO Retiree, thank you for your service, but do not meddle in anothers chicken coop, as you know damn well how you would react if an outside SNCO got all up in your business.

No. I graduated from Infantry OCS with the son of a four star general. He told his son that he was on his own and not to depend on his Dad's rank to get him out of any situations. John went though Airborne School and was sent to Vietnam and served with the 82nd, which was his father's old unit. Unfortunately John died in a sky diving accident.

Never ran into that sort of issue until I went on Drill Sergeant duty. Occasionally we would get phone calls from both active duty and retired senior NCOs whose sons were going through basic training. They would normally state they were going to be on post for an unrelated duty but were wanting to "stop by and observe training". They were all given the same response that no one was allowed to observe training. The majority were understanding and accepting of the fact. A few wanted to push the issue and were given the name and number of our BN Commander. I don't recall him ever accommodating them either.

Wow, that question-rant begs an explanation of the story behind it. From the way it was phrased, I suspect you handled it with professionalism and integrity.

Hell no it shouldn't!! I'll tell you one thing thou, I any E-8 or E-9 ever tried to pull his rank on me in my company AO he would be in for one hell-of-a surprise. We would go head to head toe to toe over this!