"Stupid Sh*t that 2nd LT's say"

2nd LT's and maps. Had one tell me "This has to be a short cut, all the contour lines are right next to each other" Straight out of West Point and just graduated Ranger School.

A thousand years ago at Fort Polk, I had to drive for our new XO - somehow a cherry butter-bar got the slot ahead of experienced 2LT's that were Platoon Leaders. We were in the field and were driving on roads that went either North-South or East-West. It's 0600 and we are driving - the sun is BLASTING us in the eyes.

He _DEMANDED_ that I get out of the HMMWV and shoot an azimuth to determine our direction of travel. "Uhhh, Sir? It's six in the morning and we are driving into the sun - we're heading due East - 090 degrees." "DAMMIT SERGEANT, GET OUT THERE AND USE YOUR COMPASS!"

Boy was he upset when I told him we were heading at 090...

By the way - this was an Infantry company, and he had a BA in Music Performance. He managed to get to the unit without benefit of Airborne, Air Assault, OR Ranger schools...

I'm going to shake the tree, SGT! Tell me if you see it moving on the map.

What do you mean Tanks dont have soft spots???? You mean to tell me there is no such thing as a can of squelch!!!! Why that little..... !!!! SGT GLENN !!!!!!!!!!

"Sergeant, don't confuse your experience with my rank!"

I had a 2LT tell me (when I was a Squad Leader) "I was a squad leader in West Point, so I know everything that an NCO should do". To this day, I still get pissed and I still laugh.

"I envision..." - have to be O-5 or above to envision
"Based on my experience..." - Bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!
"SGT, THIS, is how we're going to do things from now on..."
"NCO business my ass..."
"'Front Towards Enemy', I don't get it??"
"Box of grid squares... next to the can of squelch and the chem light batteries... hmm..."

About six months after I put on O-2, I was coming off watch one night to find a newly minted (unfortunately male) Marine Corps 2LT in my stateroom. He shot up to attention and nearly fell over shouting, "Good evening Sir!". I turned around half expecting the CNO to be behind me. Took me about five minutes to get him to go to parade rest, another five to figure out the XO had stuck him in with me while the Advance Team was aboard (having discovered my little secret of having greased the SUPPO to put me in an O-4 stateroom)...and yet another five minutes to explain that around "here", the only difference between he and I was that I could find the Wardroom ;)

Ah Lt's... Training is continuous.

I had a Chief in the Air Force chew me up one side and down the other because I uttered the words “based on my experience”. Lt’s don’t have any real experience admittedly; however I am prior enlisted and am now a nurse with a commission. After he got done and left the clinic he might have gotten scheduled for a prostate exam every couple of months for the next year. Just saying crap may roll downhill but I see it float to the top a lot.