Posted on Jun 5, 2016
CPT Joseph K Murdock
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This post was not started for entertainment but more for suicide awareness. All these songs have commonalities like sadness, darkness, a sense of loss, and desire to throw in the towel. I was there at one point, broken by PTSD and unable to see how to get fixed. If you feel like this, I whole heartedly recommend asking for help instead of throwing in the towel. There exist people who can truly help you. They will pick you up, dust you off, and send you forth into life. So don't quit, keep your head up, and ask for help.

A few years have passed for falling so far down I could not get up with help. I knew my military psychologist so there were a couple times I called to state, "Doc I feel like 5% of a human today." He replied for me to drive in and went to residential a few hours later. I am fine now, however, I still empathize about that lonely soldier who fights the fight of his/her life every night. The lonely and dark nights.



I think this song is apropos to describe how a loved one feels after a suicide, and the eternal sadness they face for the rest of their lives.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone


These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me


You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me


These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me


I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along


When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Posted in these groups: B4caadf8 SuicideMilitary leadership skills civilian employment CiviliansRetirement logo Retirement
Edited >1 y ago
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LTC Stephen C.
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Edited >1 y ago
CPT Joseph K Murdock, the song "Suicide is Painless" from the movie MASH (and later the TV series M*A*S*H) is notable in some respects. Ironically, the lyrics were penned in 1969 by Michael Altman (son of MASH movie director, Robert), who was fifteen years old at the time, and naturally, had never seen time in the service, much less combat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-BtquTKw78
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
CPT Joseph K Murdock
>1 y
That was a talented teen boy. We have many genres of songs.
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Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM
Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM
>1 y
Spot On!
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
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If any of you are thinking of suicide, please go in for help. Help is available to help you heal from the pain. It worked for me once I identified I had to survive to see better days ahead.
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Capt Retired
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>1 y
I think many more of us have been there. It is difficult.
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
CPT Joseph K Murdock
>1 y
All I know is that feeling, that feeling of loss is the worst feeling in the world.
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Capt Retired
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I don't believe there is a song, a poem, etc that can describe what suicide does to the families left behind.
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MSgt John McGowan
MSgt John McGowan
>1 y
Capt (Join to see) - At times I just got mad at her for that. It something you do not get over. I am sorry for your lost. There was no children involed in my case.
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Capt Retired
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MSgt John McGowan - The loss is always there. Sorry for each one.
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Col Rebecca Lorraine
Col Rebecca Lorraine
>1 y
MSgt John McGowan - Man, I'm so sorry. You must be in pain from losing two.
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
CPT Joseph K Murdock
>1 y
I am sorry for all your losses and hope the children can grow up to be healthy adults.
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What are some songs, things, and events that describe suicide or the aftermath ?
Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM
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Edited >1 y ago
Sir that song is the survivor singing............try this

https://youtu.be/ZdSaI080VXc
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
CPT Joseph K Murdock
>1 y
Thank you. Country!
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Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM
Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM
>1 y
CPT Joseph K Murdock - I am a proud Country Girl!
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
CPT Joseph K Murdock
>1 y
Ha I thought you are a heathen!
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SGT John " Mac " McConnell
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
CPT Joseph K Murdock
>1 y
Thanks for the song. I can't play videos now, so I took the liberty of lifting the lyrics:

You must have been in a
Place so dark
You couldn't feel the light
Reachin' for you through
That stormy cloud
Now here we are
Gathered in our little hometown
This can't be the way
You meant to draw a crowd

[Chorus]
Oh why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could've
Said or done
Oh, I had no clue you were
Masking
A troubled soul, God only knows
What went wrong and why
You would leave the stage
In the middle of a song

Now in my mind I'll keep you frozen
As a seventeen-year-old
Rounding third to score the
Winning run
You always played with passion
No matter what the game
When you took the stage
You'd shine just like the sun

[Chorus]
Oh why, that's what I keep asking
Was there anything I could've
Said or done
Oh, I had no clue you were
Masking
A troubled soul, God only knows
What went wrong and why
You would leave the stage
In the middle of a song

Now the oak trees are swaying
In the early autumn breeze
A golden sun is shining on my face
Through tangled thoughts
I hear a mockingbird sing
This old world really ain't that
Bad of a place

Oh why, there's no comprehending
And who am I to try to
Judge or explain
Oh, but I do have one
Burning question
Who told you life wasn't
Worth the fight
They were wrong, they lied
Now you're gone and we cry
'Cause it's not like you to
Walk away
In the middle of a song

Your beautiful song
Your absolutely beautiful song
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SGT John " Mac " McConnell
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Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM
Kim Bolen RN CCM ACM
>1 y
Love this one!
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Capt Retired
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At our son's funeral the minister described a bird that had gotten out of its cage and was sucked up in a vacuum cleaner. He said that was how the family felt. He wasn't wrong by much.
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
CPT Joseph K Murdock
>1 y
I am sorry that you lost a son. I really do hope that he is in a better place now.
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Capt Retired
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>1 y
He is. His oldest daughter is getting married next month.
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LTC Stephen C.
LTC Stephen C.
>1 y
I am sorry for your loss, Capt (Join to see). May he rest in peace.
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Capt Retired
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>1 y
LTC Stephen C. - He was an Army vet, but no combat. I don't think it had anything to do with being a vet. But, we will never know why for sure.
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CPT Infantry Officer
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Edited >1 y ago
There is no shame in asking for help.

https://youtu.be/WEQnzs8wl6E
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
CPT Joseph K Murdock
>1 y
Thank you for the song.
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CPT Infantry Officer
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CPT Joseph K Murdock - My pleasure. Didn't mean to double post.
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MSgt F 35 Weapons Requirements Manager
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Suicide Solution
Suicide is Painless
Fade to Black
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A1C Charles D Wilson
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https://youtu.be/x7bIbVlIqEc
https://youtu.be/xw6bbTxbTds
Being old school these two have all ways been on my list. I have a few others.

Chuck D
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
CPT Joseph K Murdock
>1 y
Thanks for the songs. I can relate to the first song describing the need to have a friend, direction, truth, or a confidant to help you through it.
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CPT Joseph K Murdock
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Edited >1 y ago
I am going to add this song about addiction as suicide and addiction are often common to each other.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDxgSvJINlU

Lyrics

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They're crawling like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride,
A nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me
Just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space


Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you


Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you


I'm sober now for three whole months,
It's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart
Is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you
For holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself,
You were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions
On things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself
When it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away
That I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart
To leave me behind


Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you


Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you


And with a sad heart, I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street
For every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy,
I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes crying,
And I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling,
"make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back
And shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered,
"How can you do this to me?"


Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you


Hate me in ways
Yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
For you
For you
For you
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