Posted on Dec 29, 2013
What can you do or say at Basic to ensure additional smoke sessions?
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I thought this would be a good way to add some humor to the discussions list.<br><br><br>Things like...:<br><br><br>- Simply ask "Why?" for anything.<br>- "That was easy." after getting smoked<br>- Complain about the heat/cold<br>- Touch the campaign hat.
Drill Sergeant
Basic Training
Humor
Posted 12 y ago
Responses: 436
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When I was in basic at Ft. Benning, my dad sent only one letter . . . addressed to the Drills. It contained only six words, "Real soldiers graduate from Ft Knox."
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SFC Donna Bush
Fort Knox has changed so much, I was there when we moved HRC from Alexandria, VA to Fort Knox and the Infantry BCT has moved to Fort Benning, GA for OSUT. The post is kinda empty now. I left there in 2011 and transferred to the WTU JBLM.
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1LT (Join to see)
CPT Raymond Vezeau - AIT January 1968. Snowing. Soot from the coal stoves. Eye opener when that main gun in the M 48 first went off and sucked the soft cap off my head while standing in the cupola.
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1. Tell your Drill Sergeants you don't like water.
2. Hand the Drill Sergeants your luggage. Ugh...what the hell was I thinking...
2. Hand the Drill Sergeants your luggage. Ugh...what the hell was I thinking...
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1SG David Freed
If you want to freak out your Drill Sergeant when he tells you to do something,
just smile and then ask "why"?. DS are not used to being asked "why", so are
unprepared and usually have no immediate response other than to get frustrated.
Worked. I did that back in 1965 during basic training.....never forgot the DS expression.
FWIW, I met the same DS 23 years later in the 3rd Armored Division in Germany in the late 1980s. We reunited and he remembered the young kid who asked him "why" and said he never had any other trainee who asked "why", ever. The DS at the time was a SSG and I was a PVT E-1. When I met him again, he was a SGM and I was a 1SG......
just smile and then ask "why"?. DS are not used to being asked "why", so are
unprepared and usually have no immediate response other than to get frustrated.
Worked. I did that back in 1965 during basic training.....never forgot the DS expression.
FWIW, I met the same DS 23 years later in the 3rd Armored Division in Germany in the late 1980s. We reunited and he remembered the young kid who asked him "why" and said he never had any other trainee who asked "why", ever. The DS at the time was a SSG and I was a PVT E-1. When I met him again, he was a SGM and I was a 1SG......
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SMSgt Michael Gleason
PV1, May 1968, Fort Knox, when my DI said "Sound off like you've got a pair", ( (unwisely and capriciously) replied, "There's no scientific correlation between testicular presence and vocal prowess". I don't know if he understood or not (I think not), and he moved on the the next trainee in the formation.
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CPL Jerry Galloway
Drill at FT Sill asked, smile if you enjoyed PT? No one told me it was a trick question. :)
"You cant smoke a rock"
"You cant smoke a rock"
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SPC Maurice Williams
Nope !!! Fort Jackson SC; Fort Huachuca AZ; actually got wrote up for smiling too much there!
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Sgt Charles Buckman
My AsDI at Sampson AF Base said if we wanted to look at him he'd send us a picture! He was about 5'6". The DI was a 6'2" Cherokee.
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True Story: One day, we had a disgruntled Private in our Platoon. He took his grievance to the DS in the presence of the whole Battery. The DS, thinking he would up-the-ante, told the Private "Dont tell me, tell the Senior DS". Aforementioned Private walked into the Senior DS's office and shortly, we heard the Senior DS tell the Private to "Shut the F@#$ up". Imagine the terror we experienced when the Private said to the Senior DS, "No, YOU shut the F@#$ up".
Can you believe aforementioned Private survived Basic Training? We thought we were all dead.
Can you believe aforementioned Private survived Basic Training? We thought we were all dead.
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COL David Turk
1LT William Clardy - difference being a “fact finding” report versus a “butch session”. Most NCOs will accept actionable information regardless of who it’s from.
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1LT William Clardy
One of my earlier lessons in the value understating my gripes, COL David Turk. To this day, I'm pretty sure that the senior drill called me into his office thinking he was going to explain how I was blowing something out of proportion.
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Seriously, there we were. We were out on FTX in Basic, and my platoon was getting an AAR from one of my platoon DS's. Sun is setting. Ft Leonard Wood, MO. Just had chow and waiting for word to download gear and rack out. Its the perfect time of day. Until.........my whole platoon and DS start smelling smoke. So, my DS tells all of us to follow him so we can find the source in case the woods are on fire. We turn the corner of a line of trees, and there it was, the source of the fire. Two Privates from another platoon were sitting in front of their pup tent with a fire going. Naturally, my DS asks the two Soldiers what the hell they are doing. And, while still sitting and not missing a beat, look up and say "Having some coffee, SSG. Would you like a cup?" DS turns to us, and in a calm voice, tells us to head back to the platoon area. The cries of pain and anguish lasted a good while after that.
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SSG Ken Schiffner
Ha ha ha ha.
We were so far ahead for honor platoon all we needed to win was for our entire platoon to finish the 5 mile run. A fat body who was a constant fall out, but had started performing much better on runs was falling back. Me and another road guard were pushing him and he was crying saying that his leg was broken. Our 2 DS's told us to leave him and catch up to the platoon. We look back and see the DS's "escorting him off the road and toward the woods." The next day our senior DS took us to the hospital to visit this private who was in traction, in the hospital, with a broken leg. When we walked in he was all smiles. When the DS walked in he looked like a rape victim. Different time. Incidentally, since we did not all finish we lost honor platoon.
We were so far ahead for honor platoon all we needed to win was for our entire platoon to finish the 5 mile run. A fat body who was a constant fall out, but had started performing much better on runs was falling back. Me and another road guard were pushing him and he was crying saying that his leg was broken. Our 2 DS's told us to leave him and catch up to the platoon. We look back and see the DS's "escorting him off the road and toward the woods." The next day our senior DS took us to the hospital to visit this private who was in traction, in the hospital, with a broken leg. When we walked in he was all smiles. When the DS walked in he looked like a rape victim. Different time. Incidentally, since we did not all finish we lost honor platoon.
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1SG David Freed
Sounds like that DS chewed around those two soldiers assholes up one side and down the other until it fell out and screamed for mercy! LOL
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SPC Joseph Culpepper
Lol. When was this? Must be newish because I went to basic in 89 at FT. Bliss. The COD mentality of recruits still boggles my mind.
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SFC Charles Woods
SP5 Danielle Young - Reminds me of an SP5 promoted to SSG,his name was Haras.Boy did we have fun with that.
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Lt Col Bobby Thomas
Once knew a E-2 (AMN) by the name of General Lee Harris. The Base Commander forbade him from using his first name over the phone. He was quite a ridge runner, and very simple minded.
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1SG David Freed
Once upon a time at Fort Ord, CA, we had a soldier whose real name was "Robin D Hood". He went to open a bank account at First Interstate Bank in nearby Seaside. When he told the teller his name, she hit the alarm button, thinking he was going to rob the bank. Must have thought "robin de hood" was a real robbery. Manager came out, checked his ID and had to apologize. Its all in a name.....true story.
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1SG David Freed
Once upon a time, at 7th Inf Div, Fort Ord, CA, we had a young soldier (PFC) who arrived from another duty station. His name was "Robin D Hood". He went into the local UCB bank to draw out some cash at the teller window. He told her his name was "Robin Hood". Given the legend of Robin Hood, she thought it was a hold up, and hit the alarm button. Alarm goes off, bank doors lock up, Security Guard with weapon shows up along with the bank manager, but finally, with proper ID, it was all cleared up and lots of apologies. It's all in a name! I was his 1SG at the time.....
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SSG Andrew Dydasco I smiled...all the time! They made me push until I stopped smiling. As soon as I recovered and went to attention, I smiled again.
I don't smile out of spite or to prove a point, it's just me. I lived to see another day. I'm making a difference in my life. I'm optimistic about every situation. What doesn't kill me, makes me smile.
I don't smile out of spite or to prove a point, it's just me. I lived to see another day. I'm making a difference in my life. I'm optimistic about every situation. What doesn't kill me, makes me smile.
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Cpl Eric Tavarez
I had the same problem, except that my lack of discipline would cause me to fight back the laughter whenever our DI's would start barking at the 4 hill billies that bunked directly across from me.
I grew up in a family full with both Army and Marine Vietnam Vets. So I was already used to the madness. So watching these 4 recruits that had pretty much never left their farming town and were now being barked at by a 6"4' black DI who was as scary as the "Ice Man" , telling them that he's going to break their backs and that they will never get off of his island was classic. They truly believed him. Eventually so did I after he made me the platoon quarter deck king....
Thanks to that 6"4' DI and his fellow DI's, I no longer have a problem with discipline....
I grew up in a family full with both Army and Marine Vietnam Vets. So I was already used to the madness. So watching these 4 recruits that had pretty much never left their farming town and were now being barked at by a 6"4' black DI who was as scary as the "Ice Man" , telling them that he's going to break their backs and that they will never get off of his island was classic. They truly believed him. Eventually so did I after he made me the platoon quarter deck king....
Thanks to that 6"4' DI and his fellow DI's, I no longer have a problem with discipline....
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Cpl Eric Tavarez
My DI had me lean forward and punch myself several times in front of the whole platoon. Then he threatened to charge me with assault if I didn't stop striking hist fist with my forehead.
lol
lol
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SSG (Join to see)
I smiled out of embarrassment which was pretty frequent when I went through basic at Benning.
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SN Douglas Smith
I too had the same problem my friend. Navy boot camp, Chicago Illinois. I never did anything wrong, I just couldn't, I don't know why, I just couldn't stop smiling. I'm pretty sure it was because of the awkwardness. Maybe it was some kind of defense mechanism but I just got in trouble all the time for smiling. Now my Company Commander and I are very good friends on Facebook and talk often. He said he never understood how somebody who was smoked so often could become a friend of his. LOL
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When told to strip and buff the floor, get completely naked and start buffing the floor, when asked WTF are you thinking...state " ...You told me...to...strip and buff the floor DS"
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SPC Nancy Greene
OMG...I thought I was a smart a**! I ‘ate’ dirt for eight weeks at Ft Jackson December 1983 until Basic graduation in February 1984...SSG (Join to see)
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Give your female DS flowers and after being asked WTF you were thinking state "When I got here you told me you were my mother, my brother, my father and my dog....I give my mother flowers..."
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SSG Shauna Holmes
Give your female DS a Mother's Day card in which THE ENTIRE PLATOON signs their name.
Smoke from said DS's battles everyday for a week after.
THEN your mom, when thanking self same DS for turning you into a man, gets asked if she got a card (she got a phone call) and informed of the FANCY card a non-family member got, you get smoked by YOUR OWN MOTHER!!
Smoke from said DS's battles everyday for a week after.
THEN your mom, when thanking self same DS for turning you into a man, gets asked if she got a card (she got a phone call) and informed of the FANCY card a non-family member got, you get smoked by YOUR OWN MOTHER!!
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SPC (Join to see)
That’s how I learned In basic that shaving cream removes floor wax... shortly after our kill zone had to be completely redone because where ever the shaving cream ended up it messed up the entire floor. Never leave your wall locker unsecured...
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CPL Mark England
First morning of basic at Harmony Church, Ft. Benning, Ga. I was in the chow line for breakfast and my drill DS came up to the line screaming. Me and another guy had left our wall lockers unlocked. I was shown how to low crawl and was made to do so all the way back to the barracks through the sand, grass, pavement, and gravel. There was nothing left in our wall lockers. We were on the same floor and had to sort all our shit out. After we were done we low crawled back to the chow line and barely made it for breakfast. It was awesome. Fun times.
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