Posted on Jun 10, 2016
What's the most uncomfortable situation you've experienced in the military?
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Checking into base housing, my neighbor welcomed us. Well the young child saw me in uniform and called me Daddy. The mother corrected him by saying "That's not Daddy, that's your white Daddy". I was shocked because the husband was on a deployment at the time. The last thing I needed was him to come home and have his son calling another man Daddy. So what awkward situations have you been in?
Humor
Spouses
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 64
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Teaching a class in Port Hueneme that had both Hueneme and Gulfport Seabees
We were sitting around BSing and a guy started talking about a time where he was sent out to Gulfport TDY. While he was there he hooked up with some gal. He was describing her and mentioned a tattoo she had on her leg.
This other guy in the class pops up saying "That was my wife"
You could have heard a pin drop. All I could think of was that a fight was about to break out in my classroom
Then the guy laughed and basically said no worries, she had cheated on him on multiple deployments, which is why he had divorced her.
They left the class room that day buddies and laughing...
We were sitting around BSing and a guy started talking about a time where he was sent out to Gulfport TDY. While he was there he hooked up with some gal. He was describing her and mentioned a tattoo she had on her leg.
This other guy in the class pops up saying "That was my wife"
You could have heard a pin drop. All I could think of was that a fight was about to break out in my classroom
Then the guy laughed and basically said no worries, she had cheated on him on multiple deployments, which is why he had divorced her.
They left the class room that day buddies and laughing...
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Cpl Justin Goolsby
Damn... that definitely could have gone a different way. With every story I hear, I swear military and spouses don't mix.
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Being put in a drunk tank, that was a converted railroad car...in Yokosuka, Japan in the Winter. There was a heater at one end, with a man off a submarine...he was peeing on the heater...smelled bad. He came over to me and told me he was a carrot...that was enough, I got the Chief in charge, and pleaded for him to let me out, as I was only a drunk, but this other man was a effin carrot. The Chief let me out.
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CPT Robert Boshears
Saw an Aussie in Singapore (Boogey street) one night, take a "girl" behind some bushes...he came back really shook up in just a few minutes, with his hands apart showing how long the lady boy's tool was.
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Cpl Justin Goolsby
Well I can personally say I have never met a carrot before and I wonder what shook the Aussie up more that the she was a he or that she was more well endowed than him lol Great stories.
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I got cornered by a woman outside of Fort Carson (I had just gotten off work, so I still had my ACUs on). She asked me if I was okay knowing that I was going to burn in Hell for eternity. Alarmed, I politely asked her what she meant by that. She went on to explain to me that all military "fighters" are damned to burn in Hell for murder. There was no way for me to gently extricate myself from this conversation (my attempts to do so resulted in her following me, spouting this nonsense), so all I could think to do was go "Well, I don't believe in your form of Hell, but I guess I'll see you there!" and I beat feet out of there quick-like.
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I also have a couple of stories involving women.
First one, in Nuclear Power School in Charleston, the first day of class one of the instructors, a Senior Chief, went around telling all of us to stay away from his daughter. Um, ok... I don't even know who she is... A few months later, near the end of my training, I'm taking a couple of friends from high school who'd just arrived out on the town. A group was having a car wash just outside of base, so we stopped off to have my car washed on our way back in. The girl leading the group was a student at the local university, and we hit it off, so she gave me her number and told me she was free the following Friday night. Went to pick her up, knocked on the front door, and wouldn't you know, my Senior Chief Reactor principles instructor answers the door.
Made for a fun class the following Monday, especially as she didn't go home until Sunday evening.
The second one was aboard the ship when we were in Norfolk. Buddies and I had plans to hit college night at Peabody's in Virginia Beach, one of them bailed at the last minute. So the other guy and I went, met a couple of girls who told us they were students at the local community college, and we hit it off and ended up going back to my house for the rest of the night. The next morning, we all leave at the same time, and the two girls are heading in the same direction as us.... Then towards Norfolk Naval Base... Then towards the front gates... Then through the gate... At that point we lost track of them. In line for breakfast on the mess decks a little bit later, we're retelling the story to our buddy who'd skipped out on the night before. We heard a gasp and looked up, and our new friends from the night before were right there in front of us... About to cook our breakfasts at the omelette station...
First one, in Nuclear Power School in Charleston, the first day of class one of the instructors, a Senior Chief, went around telling all of us to stay away from his daughter. Um, ok... I don't even know who she is... A few months later, near the end of my training, I'm taking a couple of friends from high school who'd just arrived out on the town. A group was having a car wash just outside of base, so we stopped off to have my car washed on our way back in. The girl leading the group was a student at the local university, and we hit it off, so she gave me her number and told me she was free the following Friday night. Went to pick her up, knocked on the front door, and wouldn't you know, my Senior Chief Reactor principles instructor answers the door.
Made for a fun class the following Monday, especially as she didn't go home until Sunday evening.
The second one was aboard the ship when we were in Norfolk. Buddies and I had plans to hit college night at Peabody's in Virginia Beach, one of them bailed at the last minute. So the other guy and I went, met a couple of girls who told us they were students at the local community college, and we hit it off and ended up going back to my house for the rest of the night. The next morning, we all leave at the same time, and the two girls are heading in the same direction as us.... Then towards Norfolk Naval Base... Then towards the front gates... Then through the gate... At that point we lost track of them. In line for breakfast on the mess decks a little bit later, we're retelling the story to our buddy who'd skipped out on the night before. We heard a gasp and looked up, and our new friends from the night before were right there in front of us... About to cook our breakfasts at the omelette station...
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The time my supervisor gave me paperwork and then made me hold hands with him while he prayed for me. Yeah, I went to the IG with that one...
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Lt Col (Join to see)
Cpl Justin Goolsby - Doesn't it? And we were both chaplains, so we were both devout religious types. But what made it exceptionally bizarre was that one minute he was reprimanding me as my supervisor and the next minute he was trying to minister to me as my chaplain. I wasn't looking for prayer or ministry at that moment. Really, I was looking for the door so I could go back to my office and generate a response to the paperwork I got. I was already going to appeal the reprimand (it was bogus), but once he did that I had all the fodder I needed to file a formal complaint. In the end, he rescinded the reprimand under warning that if he didn't he'd be getting an even stronger reprimand...a career-ending one!
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Informing a CO that I was asking for an investigation into criminal activity on his part.
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Maj John Bell
Capt Seid Waddell - Yes. I knew something was wrong with him within a month of him taking command, and he knew I knew it. For about a year the chain of command chalked it up to a personality conflict. By the time I had airtight evidence of misconduct and criminal activity, it turned out that the Chain of Command already had him under investigation. I just put the nails in his coffin and shortened the investigation. He was relieved for cause. The day he hit 20, he was gone.
Until that CO, I had no bad paper in my SRB. I had always been ranked #1 or #2 amongst my peers in any command. A significant amount of my service was in billets above my grade, twice for future Commandants, (who chose me over getting officers of TO/E rank). But in the year and a half I served under him he marked me up pretty bad, but never to the point that I could offer a rebuttal. My reviewing officer comments always contradicted his reporting officer comments. But any admin requests I had made came with highly negative endorsements. No place for reviewing officer comments there.
I was selected for Major, but my monitor made it clear that any more bad paper and I'd never make LtCol. When I PCS'd, I ran into his friends. That's where I learned that in the higher circles it was all about politics and that the mission and the men were not first and second. I gave myself two years to love the Corps again. It didn't happen.
Until that CO, I had no bad paper in my SRB. I had always been ranked #1 or #2 amongst my peers in any command. A significant amount of my service was in billets above my grade, twice for future Commandants, (who chose me over getting officers of TO/E rank). But in the year and a half I served under him he marked me up pretty bad, but never to the point that I could offer a rebuttal. My reviewing officer comments always contradicted his reporting officer comments. But any admin requests I had made came with highly negative endorsements. No place for reviewing officer comments there.
I was selected for Major, but my monitor made it clear that any more bad paper and I'd never make LtCol. When I PCS'd, I ran into his friends. That's where I learned that in the higher circles it was all about politics and that the mission and the men were not first and second. I gave myself two years to love the Corps again. It didn't happen.
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Capt Seid Waddell
Maj John Bell, sorry to hear it, but I am not surprised. Toxic leadership is almost impossible to fight without getting hit hard in return.
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Four months into our float, a hard-charging youngster announced to my OpsChief and me that he just got some great news from his wife: She was two months pregnant. Uh... Gunny, you wanna handle this one?
That was uncomfortable, Cpl Justin Goolsby!
That was uncomfortable, Cpl Justin Goolsby!
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Cpl Justin Goolsby
Damn... There's a reason Math for Marines is a recommended MCI. I can imagine the remaining time was none too pleasant.
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Getting my ass chewed by a COL because I followed the LTC's directive. I just took it.
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MAJ (Join to see)
When I was a brand-new butter-bar, I got chewed out by the BN XO (a MAJ) once for following my CO CDR's (a CPT) orders on something where the XO had made a point of shutting the CPT down on that very thing the day prior -- I just didn't know. I presume that's somewhat similar to your scenario, but it's what happened next that made it incredible.
After the ass-chewing, I went over to the BN CSM's office and said I wanted to invoke open-door policy with BN CDR. When I told him why, he laughed and said he had a better idea. He walked with me back over to the XO's office, and told the XO that someone wanted to invoke open-door policy with *him*, then had me come in and explain to the XO that "I'm getting flack from a superior for something my direct boss instructed which I couldn't have known was contradicted by higher orders." He sat in silence for a minute and then told me I had a point, and apologized. And then it got even weirder, because the XO called the CO CDR and had him come over, then chewed him out extra-huge in front of me (and the CSM, who was just laughing at all of this) for disobeying an order *and* for throwing a subordinate under the bus. I never had an issue with that MAJ again.
After the ass-chewing, I went over to the BN CSM's office and said I wanted to invoke open-door policy with BN CDR. When I told him why, he laughed and said he had a better idea. He walked with me back over to the XO's office, and told the XO that someone wanted to invoke open-door policy with *him*, then had me come in and explain to the XO that "I'm getting flack from a superior for something my direct boss instructed which I couldn't have known was contradicted by higher orders." He sat in silence for a minute and then told me I had a point, and apologized. And then it got even weirder, because the XO called the CO CDR and had him come over, then chewed him out extra-huge in front of me (and the CSM, who was just laughing at all of this) for disobeying an order *and* for throwing a subordinate under the bus. I never had an issue with that MAJ again.
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