Posted on Dec 31, 2013
When is calling a fellow service member by their first name acceptable and unacceptable?
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I recently was hired on as Federal Technician and work with SGT's, SSG's, SFC's, CPT's, TSGT, SMsgt's, etc. I was asked day one what I liked to be called. I said, well...Cotton of course. Then I was told, " we call everyone by their name here. You're a tech, not AGR."<div><br></div><div>I have been encouraged to call my counterparts, a SGT and SSG by their first names. It just seems way too weird, so I stick with their ranks instead. What are your thoughts about calling a fellow service member by their first name?</div>
Disrespect
Discipline
Army
Air Force
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 25
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I don't know who made it ok to call individuals by their first name despite what side of the rank that you are on. Discipline is what should be something that comes to mind before you even consider calling someone by their first name, where is the structure? Next its going to be calling people by their nicknames or street name.
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Equal ranks yes, other ranks it depends on the situation and arena, and if it is initiated by them and what their guidance from seniors is in reference to it, main keys to looks at.
Typically it is not appropriate to become that familiar with each other because it takes the respect aspect somewhat out of the situation if something should change along the way from a personal conflict or disagreement. Then you run the risk of when it is deemed no longer from the senior and you are unknowing and you do it and they then try to pursue disrespect issues, it is safer and more appropriate even when they initiate it to respectfully decline and continue to address by rank and or position.
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LTC Paul Labrador
Officer world may be a bit different: culturally, I've seen it as it's acceptable for senior leader to call his subordinates by their first name (never the othe way of course)....but usually never in front of soldiers. I agree with this practice as it can produce very tight knit units, where individuals feel a sense of loyalty and belonging.
I tend to call my peers by their first name as well....but again, not around soldiers.
I tend to call my peers by their first name as well....but again, not around soldiers.
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LTC Paul Labrador
Chaplain, I disagree that using this form of familiarity breeds contempt. Our job as leaders is to mentor our subordinates. Effective mentorship can't be done at arms length. What leads to contempt is incompetence and poor example. The best commanders I've worked for all knew the first names of their officers. It's a more personal touch. Granted, you have to be careful with how you use this, but it can be a very effective way to team build.
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CH (CPT) Heather Davis
LTC Labrador:
Sir, I came in the Military in 1984, and was raised by Vietnam Veterans. I understand that you come from the medical side of the house.
General Patton talks about the importance of maintaining military professionalism and being bottom line up front.
I do not feel comfortable with first names, and I understand that Senior Officers have a different protocol.
My insight is younger Officers, may not have an understanding that Senior Officers can call them by their first name, under regulation the direction is to call the Senior Officer by his rank.
I greatly appreciate your in-sight, and the 30 years I have in I prefer to maintain Military bearing at all times. It would be rather confusing to call the Chaplain my his or her first name.
Sir, I came in the Military in 1984, and was raised by Vietnam Veterans. I understand that you come from the medical side of the house.
General Patton talks about the importance of maintaining military professionalism and being bottom line up front.
I do not feel comfortable with first names, and I understand that Senior Officers have a different protocol.
My insight is younger Officers, may not have an understanding that Senior Officers can call them by their first name, under regulation the direction is to call the Senior Officer by his rank.
I greatly appreciate your in-sight, and the 30 years I have in I prefer to maintain Military bearing at all times. It would be rather confusing to call the Chaplain my his or her first name.
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In your current capacity, you are civilian not military, as such the rules of military courtesy do not apply. HOWEVER, unless you are continously corrected by your superiors (or someone specifically tells you to call them "Bob"), I would stick to Rank and Last name when addressing military. It's professional and you can't go wrong with that....
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SPC(P) Cotton,
My first question to you would be are you currently in uniform? If you hired as a civilian than you are in a dual status. Rule of thumb I stay professional and go by rank this causes less confusion and keeps in within protocol.
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SSG Philip Cotton
Hello CPT Davis,
I am dual status, but you must be in the guard to work the position. Technically when I come to work, I am a civilian, but we are required to wear our Uniforms.
I am dual status, but you must be in the guard to work the position. Technically when I come to work, I am a civilian, but we are required to wear our Uniforms.
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CH (CPT) Heather Davis
SPC(P) Cotton:
You
have the option to be Mr. Cotton and SPC (P) Cotton on drill status. You mentioned that you
did not feel comfortable and staying in military bearing keeps you in a protected status. I hope this
helps; I
have thirty years in, and I still maintain professionalism regardless of the situation.
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SFC Stephen P.
Wearing a military uniform while acting in a civilian capacity is perplexing.
USAR MILTECHs are civilians in every sense outside of drill. Distinguishing between Mr. Snuffy and SGT Snuffy is easy under those circumstances, but for me it would never be 'Joe'.
This could explain why I have no friends.
USAR MILTECHs are civilians in every sense outside of drill. Distinguishing between Mr. Snuffy and SGT Snuffy is easy under those circumstances, but for me it would never be 'Joe'.
This could explain why I have no friends.
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LTC Paul Labrador
That is indeed a strange wrinkle. KISS: rank/last name. That way you are consistent.
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Wait you mean my first name isn't Sergeant?
I have had seniors call me by my first name, but I was never able to do it. I think that using rank and name promotes good order and discipline within out formations.
I have had seniors call me by my first name, but I was never able to do it. I think that using rank and name promotes good order and discipline within out formations.
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I think people in the military worry too much about the sociological aspects of getting the job done that they miss the point of getting the job done.
As a small unit leader, I could care less if my soldiers addressed each other by their first names. If the can accomplish the mission, do it safe, be respectful, then if it works, why jump down their throats about it.
I think leaders these days are too hell bent on nitpicking everything. Supervise your troops, take yourself out of the nuances of their lives, and let them be all they can be.
As a small unit leader, I could care less if my soldiers addressed each other by their first names. If the can accomplish the mission, do it safe, be respectful, then if it works, why jump down their throats about it.
I think leaders these days are too hell bent on nitpicking everything. Supervise your troops, take yourself out of the nuances of their lives, and let them be all they can be.
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CH (CPT) Heather Davis
SGT Butler:
The higher you go it is imperative to understand that military bearing is a must.
The higher you go it is imperative to understand that military bearing is a must.
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On the Air Force side, first names are generally acceptable between peers or one-way from a superior to a subordinate; from subordinate to superior though, folks are expected to address by rank. Some folks may ask to be addressed by rank out of personal preference.
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I've been in many shops where internally we used first names, often times there was a nonconformant, it was never a big deal, they used rank, everyone else used first names.
when an outsider would happen in ranks would be used, but this seemed to me to be more of a tool to bring us together, make us feel closer, and it often worked.
Only once did i see any disrespect come from this, and that SSG corrected that PFC quickly, it took a while, but he eventually understood that using the SSG's first name did not mean they were freinds or that he could get by with stuff.
when an outsider would happen in ranks would be used, but this seemed to me to be more of a tool to bring us together, make us feel closer, and it often worked.
Only once did i see any disrespect come from this, and that SSG corrected that PFC quickly, it took a while, but he eventually understood that using the SSG's first name did not mean they were freinds or that he could get by with stuff.
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Good Query, I think each Armed Force does it differently and it does depends on situation and location. In a School enironment more strict, in a fleet environment less strict. With Civilians go with the flow. My Guys called me by my First Name Chip, The guys in First Division called me CT1 and when the Chief called me Petty Officer Nagel I knew I was in deep doodoo.
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