39
39
0
22: That is the number of veterans that END their lives every day. That is 8,030 veterans that are no longer with us come December 31, 2014. Too many veterans are dying each year and we need to do better as a nation to battle this statistic. I, for one, almost became part of that statistic last year. I was lucky my wife somehow figured out something was not right because the VA did not help me. Instead, they kept me on a zip-lock bag of medications that I told them made me feel numb and zombie-like. The medications were the reason I was ready to take my own life. They said my medications were not the problem, I just needed to get used to the “new me”. I almost accepted their reasoning, and it would have killed me if I did.
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
Suicide
Health
Depression
Command Post
Posted 11 y ago
Responses: 65
Suspended Profile
All agencies that help veterans in trouble have been talking about this for ages. Veterans need to feel safe asking for help; far too many don't...
Sgt (Join to see)
Agreed Sir. There is a level of distrust that many veterans have toward the VA and some of the veteran service organizations.
(0)
(0)
Suspended Profile
I offer services through The Soldiers Project, providing free counseling. We don't report to the VA or DOD, so there is a level of trust that government doesn't get...
2
2
0
I too just about became a statistic because of VA care if it wasn't for my wife I wouldn't be here either
(2)
(0)
2
2
0
PO2 Corey Ferretti, I have a Group for Suicidal Active Duty and for Suicidal Veterans- on Facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/groupforsuicidalactivedutyandforsuicidalveterans
http://www.facebook.com/groupforsuicidalactivedutyandforsuicidalveterans
(2)
(0)
SPC Margaret Higgins
LCDR Rabbi Jaron Matlow - I saw your post; however it wasn't on my group's main page. I suggest that you 'Like' my group's page; and then try to post on it. Or if you would like, I can invite you to 'Like' my group; if you are indeed on Facebook.
Thank you for doing that for us; LCDR Rabbi Matlow.
Thank you for doing that for us; LCDR Rabbi Matlow.
(0)
(0)
SFC (Join to see)
SPC Margaret Higgins - I have too. It is a very lonely path. But there was hope, and help for me. As there is for anyone who feels like they have nothing else to lose.
(1)
(0)
SPC Margaret Higgins
I am exceedingly glad that you made it back; SFC (Join to see). I am ever SO proud of you. You got help; after you had sought it. That took a LOT of courage on your part.
-With My Love, SPC Margaret C Higgins US Army (Ret)
-With My Love, SPC Margaret C Higgins US Army (Ret)
(1)
(0)
2
2
0
YOU ARE NOT WEAK IF YOU NEED HELP; NOR ARE YOU WEAK IF YOU ASK FOR HELP. YOU ARE HUMAN. WE ALL NEED HELP.
THE NUMBER FOR THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE is: [login to see] .
DIAL 1 FOR VETERANS AND ACTIVE DUTY.
THE NUMBER FOR THE NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE is: [login to see] .
DIAL 1 FOR VETERANS AND ACTIVE DUTY.
(2)
(0)
2
2
0
There's an excellent message here. Never give up. Reach out for help. The help is available if you only ask. We are all here for each other. No one is alone....
(2)
(0)
2
2
0
It means I need to get off my ass and help in any way I can. I'm going to find my role in this mission.
(2)
(0)
PO2 Corey Ferretti
PO2 Steven Erickson thank you if you look through the post there are a couple links to great organizations if you would like to get involved look into some of those.
(0)
(0)
2
2
0
http://www.financial-planning.com/news/practice_management/landmark-military-suicide-prevention-study-approved-by-congress-2691414-1.html
Interesting points brought up in this future research. Seems if a trillion dollars are being invested, there will be some clinical pearls we can share with our troops.
Stand by for the results...
Interesting points brought up in this future research. Seems if a trillion dollars are being invested, there will be some clinical pearls we can share with our troops.
Stand by for the results...
Landmark Military Suicide Prevention Study Approved by Congress
Prompted by a Financial Planning investigation, more effective advice for soldiers and vets in financial distress is the objective.
(2)
(0)
PO2 Corey Ferretti
Happy to see they are doing research into this all though why it took so long is beyond me just happy to see they are taking strides.
(0)
(0)
2
2
0
It took years for the military, VA, and other health care and mental health professionals to take PTSD seriously with Vietnam vets. Why it has taken so long with Afghanistan and Iraq vets, when we already had the Vietnam example, is inexcusable, but we are now turning that corner.
Unfortunately, our best weapons in this fight are not those professionals, but rather our brother and sister vets, our families, and our friends.
Unfortunately, our best weapons in this fight are not those professionals, but rather our brother and sister vets, our families, and our friends.
(2)
(0)
PO2 Corey Ferretti
Your right PO1 Chris Crawley it seems like the medical and miltary forgot about what Vietnam vets went through. You last statment is correct too. thank you for taking the time to read my post and your response.
(2)
(0)
2
2
0
Suicide is a problem for those who serve and served in the Armed Forces It gets worse around the holidays. Why, the feelings of being alone and depressions are amplified by the cheer and happiness of others. I have pondered this subject and jotted down some thoughts from thoughts and stories shared with me over time. If you see a brother or sister in arms who look like they are in distress. Don't ignore them give them a hug and tell them they are never really alone and there are others out there who feel the same way and people who want to help.
This short story is entitled "Will Any One Miss Me"
Two year ago, every day I would fall into formation with my brothers and sisters in arms, we would joke and smoke together. During those days I was never alone, everyone watched out for each other. We fought together not because we had to we did it for the person to the left and to the right. We gave our all for each other; sometimes we gave the ultimate sacrifice for each other. We were never going to let one of our own die alone.
In combat we fought together, slept together and sometimes cried together. I was never alone; there was always someone to my right or to my left. I could count on that person to cover my ass. I would give my life for those I shared those moments with. I would give my life for one of them and they would do the same for me. If I were to die on the battlefield, I would be missed by my brothers and sisters in arms.
Today, I am alone all the time, there is no one in the foxhole next to me, no one to my right, no one to my left. There is no one out there who would die for me. My family doesn’t understand me, the doctors tell me I am depressed and I suffer from PTSD. They prescribe me medication and I go to group with others and share my experiences, not the good, only the bad.
Yet, it is just the lonely feeling I have and no one to share it with. Is there no one out there who would cry for me if I were to die today? Yes, I have a family. They do not understand why I miss being in uniform, why I miss the comradery of combat and being in the Armed Service. If I were to die today is there anyone out there who would miss me.
Yes, I am alone, there are days I sit and remember my Squad Leader, my older brother. I look to the sky for advice from my Platoon Sergeant, my father. I await the motivational speech from the” Old Man” as he was affectionately call, my Commander. The words never come they just ring in my head in dreams of days gone by and places with names I cannot pronounce.
If I were to take my life today, would anyone miss me or would I become another statistic for the Veterans Administration to quote. Will I be laid to rest in a grave where I will never be alone? Will I again be with my brothers and sisters In Arms laughing and joking in an eternal formation? Will I be laid to rest in uniform again, with someone to my left and someone to my right? I want to be laid to rest in Arlington. If not there, then lay me to rest in another military cemetery where I will never be alone again. I want to feel at home again with my brothers and sisters in eternal formation at rest, yet never alone and never missed.
This short story is entitled "Will Any One Miss Me"
Two year ago, every day I would fall into formation with my brothers and sisters in arms, we would joke and smoke together. During those days I was never alone, everyone watched out for each other. We fought together not because we had to we did it for the person to the left and to the right. We gave our all for each other; sometimes we gave the ultimate sacrifice for each other. We were never going to let one of our own die alone.
In combat we fought together, slept together and sometimes cried together. I was never alone; there was always someone to my right or to my left. I could count on that person to cover my ass. I would give my life for those I shared those moments with. I would give my life for one of them and they would do the same for me. If I were to die on the battlefield, I would be missed by my brothers and sisters in arms.
Today, I am alone all the time, there is no one in the foxhole next to me, no one to my right, no one to my left. There is no one out there who would die for me. My family doesn’t understand me, the doctors tell me I am depressed and I suffer from PTSD. They prescribe me medication and I go to group with others and share my experiences, not the good, only the bad.
Yet, it is just the lonely feeling I have and no one to share it with. Is there no one out there who would cry for me if I were to die today? Yes, I have a family. They do not understand why I miss being in uniform, why I miss the comradery of combat and being in the Armed Service. If I were to die today is there anyone out there who would miss me.
Yes, I am alone, there are days I sit and remember my Squad Leader, my older brother. I look to the sky for advice from my Platoon Sergeant, my father. I await the motivational speech from the” Old Man” as he was affectionately call, my Commander. The words never come they just ring in my head in dreams of days gone by and places with names I cannot pronounce.
If I were to take my life today, would anyone miss me or would I become another statistic for the Veterans Administration to quote. Will I be laid to rest in a grave where I will never be alone? Will I again be with my brothers and sisters In Arms laughing and joking in an eternal formation? Will I be laid to rest in uniform again, with someone to my left and someone to my right? I want to be laid to rest in Arlington. If not there, then lay me to rest in another military cemetery where I will never be alone again. I want to feel at home again with my brothers and sisters in eternal formation at rest, yet never alone and never missed.
(2)
(0)
PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you for sharing your post and thank you for taking the time to read my post. And that was a great short story.
(0)
(0)
2
2
0
I'm sort of a big advocate for transparency and support on veterans issues. I support several initiatives that try to address issues like suicide among veterans and troops, for example. So the more I think about how badly a single senator has screwed us over on a suicide prevention bill, the angrier I get. It feels like heartbreak. I assume we all know what that feels like.
I'm going to say something, make a sincere gesture, that I hope will resonate within this community, that I hope will make the rounds and inspire others to do the same. All of us have served (as far as I know). Many of us have served in OEF and/or OIF. Many of us could potentially be a statistic. And this is not okay -- it doesn't sit well with me, but that's how life is.
If any of you -- ANY of you, no matter how old, what gender, what branch, what war, what rank -- are ever getting close to the edge and you need to talk to someone... particularly those of you who secretly fear that your career will be affected... if you guys need to talk to someone, REACH OUT. You can call me any time of day or night, and I'll stay on the phone with you and we can talk it out. My hand is extended for any of you. All you need to do is send me a message and I'll give you my phone number.
I'm going to say something, make a sincere gesture, that I hope will resonate within this community, that I hope will make the rounds and inspire others to do the same. All of us have served (as far as I know). Many of us have served in OEF and/or OIF. Many of us could potentially be a statistic. And this is not okay -- it doesn't sit well with me, but that's how life is.
If any of you -- ANY of you, no matter how old, what gender, what branch, what war, what rank -- are ever getting close to the edge and you need to talk to someone... particularly those of you who secretly fear that your career will be affected... if you guys need to talk to someone, REACH OUT. You can call me any time of day or night, and I'll stay on the phone with you and we can talk it out. My hand is extended for any of you. All you need to do is send me a message and I'll give you my phone number.
(2)
(0)
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google