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22: That is the number of veterans that END their lives every day. That is 8,030 veterans that are no longer with us come December 31, 2014. Too many veterans are dying each year and we need to do better as a nation to battle this statistic. I, for one, almost became part of that statistic last year. I was lucky my wife somehow figured out something was not right because the VA did not help me. Instead, they kept me on a zip-lock bag of medications that I told them made me feel numb and zombie-like. The medications were the reason I was ready to take my own life. They said my medications were not the problem, I just needed to get used to the “new me”. I almost accepted their reasoning, and it would have killed me if I did.
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
Suicide
Health
Depression
Command Post
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 71
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I have been off of here and most other aspects of my life the last few days 12/28/2013 was the day that I tried to end my own life. It was a difficulty few days to get through, even with help. I pray that more of our veteran reach out, and that more people reach out to our veterans to get that number down.
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SFC Boots Attaway
SGT Charles Vernier , this is one thing that I am glad that you failed at brother. If you ever need to talk just PM me and I will give you my phone number. Please NEVER try it again.
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I live every day with the dark specter of suicide hanging over my shoulder. Soldier Hard, Stephen Hobbs, J-Duece, and the rest of the RedCon-1 music group have been a Godsend. If you don't know who they are, search for them on Youtube or iTunes. I don't like rap or hip-hop music, but the message these guys send is life saving.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
You are right i dont care for that type of music too but there music is therapy. Glad you are still with us brother stay strong.
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SFC Boots Attaway
SSG(P) Matthew Bisbee , I am glad that you are still with us and I pray that you continue to win your battles against your demons. We are all here to help any way that we can. Please try to find a RP member that lives close to you and make contact. Maybe you both can be support for each other. If not please pm me and I will give you my cell number and you can call me ANYTIME. I hope that the rest of the RP members feel the same way as we should ALL watch each others 6 and offer any and all the support we can. God Bless and watch over you brother.
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SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS
SSG(P) Matthew Bisbee You are a strong NCO and an example for us all to follow. As SFC Boots Attaway related I am available to, at any time if you want to vent, talk, or whatever.
You are not alone with the "dark spector" it remains a fight many of us are in. Each success as an individual provides us one more success as a group.
You are not alone with the "dark spector" it remains a fight many of us are in. Each success as an individual provides us one more success as a group.
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SGM (Join to see)
There's a lot of people in your corner, SSG (P) Matthew Bisbee. You don't have to fight this alone. You've reached out on this post. Now follow through.
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This is going to sound harsh and I know it is. But 22 a day really doesn't hold that much meaning to me. Before I get slammed with others telling me I'm cold/callous etc. please hear me out.
I have dealt with PTSD since returning from Desert Shield/Storm in April 1991. It has cost me one marriage and maybe a couple jobs. In 1991 we didn't have all the mental health programs that we have in place today. Like the Viet Nam vets before us, we were left to deal with our problems the best way we could. I was depressed, lonely, guilt ridden. Every day I returned home from work it was a struggle to not sleep in my vehicle in the garage with the engine running and windows down. My wife at the time didn't want to hear about my experiences. In her words "that was before us'. I couldn't afford to seek professional help and in 2003 she divorced me.
I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2008 after returning to active duty in 2006 after seeking help while assigned to the Ft. Campbell WTB as a squad leader.
In the years I have struggled to come to grips with what happened in the desert of Iraq I am proud to admit that I never succumbed to using alcohol or drugs in order to deal with daily life and my demons.
The reason why 22 a day doesn't mean a lot to me is this; my door is always open, my phone is always on, my ears are always available to listen. I may not have the answers (hell, I don't even have all the questions) but I know how to find a Soldier the help they need. Or I will just listen if that's all they desire.
I understand what it's like to not want to continue to live. To struggle day to day. To be alone even when in a crowded room. With all the programs today, I feel there is no excuse to suffer in silence.
No, I don't enjoy reading about a Soldier taking their own life. But I have survived almost 24 years with PTSD. Yes even with therapy some days are still a bitch.
I do care about the welfare of Soldiers. And if they're suffering and don't want to talk to me about it, I pray they will seek someone to talk to or allow me to get them the help they need.
I have dealt with PTSD since returning from Desert Shield/Storm in April 1991. It has cost me one marriage and maybe a couple jobs. In 1991 we didn't have all the mental health programs that we have in place today. Like the Viet Nam vets before us, we were left to deal with our problems the best way we could. I was depressed, lonely, guilt ridden. Every day I returned home from work it was a struggle to not sleep in my vehicle in the garage with the engine running and windows down. My wife at the time didn't want to hear about my experiences. In her words "that was before us'. I couldn't afford to seek professional help and in 2003 she divorced me.
I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2008 after returning to active duty in 2006 after seeking help while assigned to the Ft. Campbell WTB as a squad leader.
In the years I have struggled to come to grips with what happened in the desert of Iraq I am proud to admit that I never succumbed to using alcohol or drugs in order to deal with daily life and my demons.
The reason why 22 a day doesn't mean a lot to me is this; my door is always open, my phone is always on, my ears are always available to listen. I may not have the answers (hell, I don't even have all the questions) but I know how to find a Soldier the help they need. Or I will just listen if that's all they desire.
I understand what it's like to not want to continue to live. To struggle day to day. To be alone even when in a crowded room. With all the programs today, I feel there is no excuse to suffer in silence.
No, I don't enjoy reading about a Soldier taking their own life. But I have survived almost 24 years with PTSD. Yes even with therapy some days are still a bitch.
I do care about the welfare of Soldiers. And if they're suffering and don't want to talk to me about it, I pray they will seek someone to talk to or allow me to get them the help they need.
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CPT Jack Durish
You, SSG, are an indomitable. You are a rare breed of individual who can overcome life's adversities. Me, too. I survived an abusive father without becoming an abusive father. I survived the bride-from-hell and still had the brazenness to try again and succeeded (now 38 years in a marriage of love). However, as I said, you and I are of a rare breed. We may be special or we may be too dumb to realize how bad things are.
Those who commit suicide are not indomitable. They are merely human...
Those who commit suicide are not indomitable. They are merely human...
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SSG (Join to see)
CPT Jack Durish, glad to hear you overcame the abuse of your father and a troubled first marriage to find true happiness with your current wife.
I owe a lot of my strength to my mom. She raised me with zero help from my father. She struggled to make ends meet on gov't assistance as jobs where we lived were hard to find. She always made sure I had food to eat, clothes on my back and Christmas time I never went without. She always supported me in every endeavor (sports, FFA) I undertook and still does to this day.
I feel that one of the biggest problems facing todays Soldier is that they lack the coping mechanisms that we had growing up. They're too reliant on technology. We live in an instant gratification age (and yes even I get caught up in it at times). They have become accustomed to stuff being instantly available. They have no concept of 'waiting on the good stuff'.
I owe a lot of my strength to my mom. She raised me with zero help from my father. She struggled to make ends meet on gov't assistance as jobs where we lived were hard to find. She always made sure I had food to eat, clothes on my back and Christmas time I never went without. She always supported me in every endeavor (sports, FFA) I undertook and still does to this day.
I feel that one of the biggest problems facing todays Soldier is that they lack the coping mechanisms that we had growing up. They're too reliant on technology. We live in an instant gratification age (and yes even I get caught up in it at times). They have become accustomed to stuff being instantly available. They have no concept of 'waiting on the good stuff'.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
THank you for sharing SSG (Join to see) i dont find what your wrote as cold. Glad you are still here with us and happy you are there for your soldiers. You are right that today alot of people dont know the coping skills needed to drive on. Part of that is failure on them as you stated it seems we want instant gratification and part of this is failure on leadership. I know when i came back they put us through "training" but it was a check in the box to get us home. They should do a little more with it and cover how to deal with what happened and copping mechanisms. It took me to go to a inpatient treatment program to learn just the basic skills. If they would take 2 weeks to introduce us to this it might help one more person get over the hump.
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LT (Join to see)
Good Morning SSG Mann, I suffer from PTSD, however not from war or conflicts but from childhood PTSD. I have dealt with it all my life, from childhood abuse such as the same CPT Durish mentioned (I was lucky at 14 and met my Mother who took me in--now a retired Navy Chief). I don't sleep and I must sleep with earplugs because I am on constant alert. Additionally, I do not commit well until my current husband who just "gets me". I have never once considered taking my life, probably because I have lived with this my entire life. I have learned how to live it, to make it work for me, well, for the most part that is. I have known so many service members to have lost their lives by their own hand. I find the statistics disturbing. When I was in the AF and I went through Airman Leadership School (1996 or 1997), one of my speeches was on service member suicides. I used a flare gun as a prop and stuck it to my head and yelled "BANG" really loud. It certainly grabbed everyone's attention and I started my speech with statistics. Suicide has touched us more than most people are really aware of. PO2 Ferretti, keep trusting and I understand how difficult this is when people misuse this trust, but by opening yourself and your heart you are allowing yourself to heal in many ways. I used to be very angry, but in 2008 I had an epiphany about my anger and I deliberately chose to see as much positive in my life. I chose see those in my life in a positive way and in the end this has become my normal vs something I have had to work at. I have definitely been disappointed by some people, but in the end this attitude of mine has helped me become happier and a better person. Some people can do this through their faith and I say go for it. Whatever works to help you through your mind, because it's our minds which we fight daily. Regardless, I'm always here if you need someone just to talk to as I'm a firm believer life is about being happy and learning our lessons as everything we experience is to teach us something. Ok, so I'm pretty sure I've rambled on a bit much here. Cheers!
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Check out this organization. Spread them all over Facebook. They help get the word out and raise awareness for this issue. It is something I strongly believe in. It breaks my heart every time I hear of a brother or sister taking their own life. It really ticks me off when I find out they sought treatment through the VA and were either turned away or put on a "list".
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Sgt Adam Jennings What org are you talking about?
Edit: Sorry i found it sorry forgot you put it late.
Edit: Sorry i found it sorry forgot you put it late.
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We will never overcome this issue nor any other issue of the like as long as we as a people do not finally stand up to a corrupt government and right the wrongs done to both the poeple and the laws that are supposed to govern this once great counrty. We have no business invading ANY country when we cannot or more likely will not address and solve issues at home 1st and foremost. As a disabled vet I am confronted with actually seeing how much my supposedly caring government actually cares for me, it was attempted to bust me down to the lowest rank they could muster when I was going through medical separation to reduce the amount of disability I would receive back then. In 96 I recieved a final letter from the VA stating that even though I filed all paper work properly back in 92 that because I was not living in the continental US I was not eligible for ANY type of medical or disability.Once getting back state side in 2010 I was told I WAS entitled and was helped to re-submit all forms and yes I requested it back dated to 92 since I did it all properly back then and just had a corrupt system to deal with but was only awarded from 2010 because the letter stated that I more or less was crazy if I thought that the VA was gonna pay me all those years for their mistake and neglect. Current day I have to fight with the VA on everything, have to put up with snot nosed interns with attitudes tell me to shut up and I have no say on how my medical treatments will be done, I have to put up with setting in the ER for 4 hours with heart attack symptoms, only to find out I had a stroke too and that there must have been some miscalculation at the front desk. I have to put up with being told I will be escorted out of a VA facility if I disagree with my PCP one more time, they treat you like shit knowing we have PTSD and other issues and wonder why you get pissed only to leave the VA feeling unwanted and unloved like you are a burden to them. So yes I can Honestly see why we loose so many brothers and sisters to a non caring system.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you SGT Michael Glenn You are right VA has failed so many of us. I put in another comment above. The VA needs to be rebuilt from the ground up wiht better training for the medical staff. I have never had some of the dealing you have listed but i have had friends who had these dealing. Because of some of the troubles i have had i use civilian practitioners because i dont feel the VA has my best intrest at heart right now because they failed me in a big way not to long ago.
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I have been purchasing from Til Valhalla Project for a couple years now.
Owned and started by a vet, employs vets and gives free memorial plaques to families.
Owned and started by a vet, employs vets and gives free memorial plaques to families.
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Yes , I have. I started a non-profit 10 years after my 19 year old gunner died in a Rollover accident in Parwan Province in 2004 http://www.Neverforgottenmemorials.org and I work with multiple Veterans Organizations throughout CFL. Now, I am launching a Internet Radio Show called "Remember The Fallen With SGT Dave. http://www.KLRNradio.com "Liberty and Reason Still Reign . Yes I found my new "life mission after service!
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I would rather be a healthy peasant than a rich king
Our Health is the greatest of all our possessions. That's why it's imperative that the VA assures that Veterans care is improved and get rid of the Manager's that are falsifying records on appointments and their facilities are providing sub par care so they can receive bonuses how selfish is that. These unscrupulous Manager's put their bonuses above the life's of Veterans. That's very cold blooded. We know that in battle serving some of us will never return home alive. However that shouldn't be case losing lives of Veterans because they couldn't get an appointment. We must contact our elected politicians and let them hear it from us that we will not stand for Veterans to continually be mistreated and receive sub par care.
Just because I receive good care from the VA facility in Martinez California. It doesn't make me feel any better knowing that somewhere out there a Veteran died because he or she couldn't get an appointment or they committed suicide because they were so frustrated with the system.
Keep in mind how long did our government deny agent orange? I wasn't there but I talked to so many guys that explained how the herbicide was all over the foliage and everything around them. Now let's fast forward almost 700,000 of us were sent to the Persian Gulf in 1991. Many returned with illnesses that couldn't be determined what they were. Headaches, nausea and rashes etc. Later to know as the Gulf War Illness. Most of the Veterans are having a heck of a time with the VA Benefits system again because the government is in denial.
This is not right it's unacceptable and should not be happening at all! Although the system has improved there is still a lot of work to be done. Again I say we as brothers and sisters we must hold these so called Veteran friendly Politicians accountable to deliver not on promises but on what's right. Let's not let them continue to play Russian roulette with our health care. Because our health is the main source off our wealth!
Peace!
Our Health is the greatest of all our possessions. That's why it's imperative that the VA assures that Veterans care is improved and get rid of the Manager's that are falsifying records on appointments and their facilities are providing sub par care so they can receive bonuses how selfish is that. These unscrupulous Manager's put their bonuses above the life's of Veterans. That's very cold blooded. We know that in battle serving some of us will never return home alive. However that shouldn't be case losing lives of Veterans because they couldn't get an appointment. We must contact our elected politicians and let them hear it from us that we will not stand for Veterans to continually be mistreated and receive sub par care.
Just because I receive good care from the VA facility in Martinez California. It doesn't make me feel any better knowing that somewhere out there a Veteran died because he or she couldn't get an appointment or they committed suicide because they were so frustrated with the system.
Keep in mind how long did our government deny agent orange? I wasn't there but I talked to so many guys that explained how the herbicide was all over the foliage and everything around them. Now let's fast forward almost 700,000 of us were sent to the Persian Gulf in 1991. Many returned with illnesses that couldn't be determined what they were. Headaches, nausea and rashes etc. Later to know as the Gulf War Illness. Most of the Veterans are having a heck of a time with the VA Benefits system again because the government is in denial.
This is not right it's unacceptable and should not be happening at all! Although the system has improved there is still a lot of work to be done. Again I say we as brothers and sisters we must hold these so called Veteran friendly Politicians accountable to deliver not on promises but on what's right. Let's not let them continue to play Russian roulette with our health care. Because our health is the main source off our wealth!
Peace!
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Its absolutely stunning for that number to be so high for Veterans. It's absolutely absurd that our government hasn't really put forth a better effort to come up with a solution to really address this. These are human beings ending their lives that have served this country. This should be alarming to the people in DC. However unfortunately they so busy fighting and throwing mud at each other they can't focus on the real issues facing Vets. We are sick and tired of lip service from these sorry A** politicians. One off this countries first order off business should be to take care of the men and women currently serving in the military and those that have served. It shouldn't be a partisan issue it's an American issue. Let's not waste so much money on their pork belly unnecessary projects in their home districts and use some of them funds to see that the military and it's Veterans are better taken care of. I call on Congress and the Senate to get up off your A** and stop arguing over this nonsense that's making headlines daily. Do the jobs you were elected to do. These Vets are calling out for help and unfortunately they feel no one is listening and cares so unfortunately they take their lives. If these were politicians taking their lives I assure it there would be a major response to that.
Peace!
Peace!
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It's cause nobody listens, or has all the answer, no compassion, mocked or made fun of, Subject to abuse, name calling, bullied, or otherwise taken advantage of. It gets worse every day. It's not a game. Actually, very dangerous to be messed with, because kill, still rings in my head
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