Why Won't You Get The Help You Need?

Nichole Ayres what SGT Ben Keen and PFC Donnie Harold Harris said regarding "...fearful(ness) of being labeled..." that it is "... the quick descent into hell..." from an ole Corpsman perspective cannot be MORE TRUE!

Additionally, what cpt-ken-landgren says about PTSD care "...fall(ing) into two camps: 1. Treat them like they have no problem, 2. or focus on their treatment..." is about increasing the "military cultural competency" of providers. Folks like SPC Nancy Greene are rare. Trained to heal and having the "street cred" to talk straight, especially with veterans. Additionally, cpt-ken-landgren mentions that "...Standards are often a concept we espouse. However, with PTSD the care is not standardized...." some people might 'misinterpret his statement as 'once size fits all", but we know what works for one veteran does not work for another veteran. Yet, he is correct in terms of the standards for desired outcomes across a wider community-forum. To this point it is about strategy alignment.

Think of "strategy alignment" as "battle planning". Here is a link to a community in Colorado (Weld County). They are using a tool called InsightVision designed to increase community transparency about various healthy community goals. This link is to their Health Mind & Spirit approach:

http://thrivingweld.com/healthy-mind-spirit/

It amazes me how communities like Weld, CO also don't have more of a veteran (aka warrior) centric approach embedded into to initiatives like their Healthy Mind & Spirit community-base strategy. Leveraging "Best Practices" as an objective in their strategy should recognize those best practices specific to veterans as part of more wholistic process. I believe, this is more inline with what cpt-ken-landgren is trying to say. But, I could be misunderstanding his commentary.

Regardless, 1SG (Join to see) mentions is perhaps the biggest impact on current or future job related issues: e.g. security clearances, etc. Highly trained veterans with special skills often don't seek care, because this means locking them out of current or future opportunities they are otherwise highly technically qualified for. Pure 'fear' of not being able to provide for themselves or their families by doing what they are trained for or love to do, but for which this kind of access or engagement requires. When 1SG (Join to see) says regarding mental health this statement "...Anyone who says that there isn't a 'stigma' for seeking help - or even needing it - is a damn liar. Yes there is...." is a statement that is 10 million% on target! When the pressure point between being able to support your family or "burying yourself in your work to maintain" is the defense you attain vs risking "stigma" is a behavior forced on people because of how seeking "mental health" is all too often "weaponized". When that weaponizing behavior is also witnessed in the media and politics and the rhetoric that goes along with it more often than not intensified, their is little wonder that many veterans choose not to risk being stigmatized in favor of "getting by".

Finally, I also find [~508389-sfc-casey-o-mally]'s comments interesting:

"...If I have a broken leg, long before I go to the doctor, I put a splint on it myself. If I have a toothache, I grin and bear it. If I have depression, I put on a happy face so that no one else has to deal with my sh...uhhh... stuff. I was raised - both as a child, and in the Army - to always be the helper, never the helpee...."

Yes, if the helper's broken leg is splinted and that person is hiking in the back country getting to advanced help can be delayed. The broken leg, depending on the type of break, could become infected and the blood poisoning could see in and if not treated could also kill you. If you have tooth pain from an abscess and the infection from that abscess migrates to the brain then grinning and bearing it could kill you with a smile on your face. You'd die happily in pain. If you have depression, you can put on a happy face and for a while others may not know you are dealing with "stuff". Or, those who can see past your defenses are forced to be "politically correct" and thus render neutered when all they want to do is help you life put down your overload. There are those times that in order to be able to help others, you have to 1st help yourself. This is so much easier said and done! But, it has to be - done! As a Navy Corpsman, as I often said in other posts I have seen more than my share of those entering sickbay in pain not resulting from physical wounds. Some, I was able to help and some not.

Without going into great detail, there was an incident on active that cause me great pain. Others could see it. I could not. But, I was offered and I took a chance. At the end of the program, I still had the experience which remains with me today. The difference is - I have to tools to deal with it and recognize the experience for what it is. Those with whom I was surrounded at the time helped me, as I know I was able to help some of them.

In closing, let me leave the RP family with this:

"We can never refuse to grasp the hand that is reaching up out of the thick ground fog of life to lead the way to clearer vision, because someday the hand reaching up from the fog of life may be - my own!"

Just saying..........from a Corpsman's perspective!

When I realized I needed help I tried to figure out how to juggle work with what the VA offered. This ended with me literally begging the VA for almost a year to help me. The "crisis hotline" only cares if you are suicidal... if not they message your local VAMH facility. The local MH facility calls you to check your name off a list, they bring you in.. talk to you for 5 minutes and throw pills at you without actually taking the time to know what you need...then you get thrown into "no available appointment" merry-go-round. Seven more months of fighting I get community care... which leads to a whole new set of problems. Two years after seeking help all I have is more questions and more problems... worse off than when I started.

When seeking help the doctors I feel just stop helping you. Constant pain and I'm kept waiting for treatment. And once it starts I feel like they stop wanting to help.

I lived in denial for the better part of 40 years, never really understanding why my life was a wreck, divorce, prison, anger, o friends. Finally DAV helped me out. I am not proud of the fact that I am 100% disabled as a result of my inability to function normally, but I know why and that has helped me to cope

I have fought my battles privately for 40 years. I never shared my tramatic event, not even with my wife. Even though, I met here while on medical leave. After months in the hospital, recovering in a burn unit for three more months I was given 45 days medical leave. I met her on day 4. Obviously she knew I was in the Army and recovering, yet the subject was off the table. I had nightmares nights. At times they get violent. We had to sleep in separate bedrooms. My children had to endure boot camp when they miss behaved. The military and a fraction of a second has been a heavy burden to carry. I have been homeless a couple times, and at the top of my game. I have worked through every morning minor and major injury. I'm stuck in a wheelchair, and still fight my mental and physical injuries. Seven months ago a visit to a VA emergancy room and the deep depression that had me in a dark place got me refered to mental health. I got discharged after my discharge date; discharged from the hospital. I have been in this fight and running away from it my entire life. I reached my limit, so I joined PTSD groups. I'm still in my fight, but now I am armed better. I don't deal well with athority, so I just made sure I was in charge. I never left the military. Thanks to VA mental health, I'm now on meds and finally getting treated. It's not gone, and I doubt anyone other than a veteran of war will ever understand the price we pay. One flash of hot burning flames, witnessing your best friends tragic event, as well as your own...wow. it was and remains bad. But getting into mental health, has helped so much.

MY HUSBAND DENNIS C. MCCAULEY IS 100% SERVICE CONNECTED AND I AM HIS WIFE ALSO DISABLED AND I TAKE TOTAL CARE IF MY SPOUSE BUT CANNOT LIFT HIM. HE IS IN DIRE NEED OF A LIFT CHAIR BUT THE TAMPA VA SAYS THEY DO NOT GIVE THESE. HE HAS FALLEN SEVERAL TIMES TRYING TO GET OUT OF THE RECLINER HE USES. CAN ANYTHING BE DONETO GET HIM A RECLINING LIFT CHAIR? THANK YOU, ROBERTA D. MCCAULEY, SPOUSE

For me, I don’t because the help isn’t available. I’m in the chronic pain clinic at Walter Reed, but they’re always backed up 2-3 months. For example, my last appointment was on January 3 and I took the next available, on February 20. Add to that the fact that the 3 hour round trip on the Metro also causes stress and pain, and there’s not much to do. When I went to patient advocacy, they just shrugged and said the hospital is underresourced.

I didn't get the help I needed until it was almost too late. I got the help I needed, got sober, and was fine for several years. Then my life started falling apart again and no one around me could see it because my wife's attitude had pushed them away. I realized that I needed help and that the only way to get better was to leave my wife because she was doing everything that my counselors had told her not to do. Today I'm living in a hotel in a different city, haven't talked to her in four months and I'm truly beginning to heal. Counseling and talking with other veterans is the best way to begin healing.

I ETS in 1988. I have never had insurance and never filed with the VA. Did not want to be a leach. I tried to register and was told I made "just abut too much. " I could not even get a VA card to get a 10 percent discount at Lowes. The hell with the VA.

That question sounds so simple. But imagine you have served 28 yrs as LGBQT under Don’t Ask , Don’t Tell Military Policy and don’t Come Out until several years after retirement because you still think you have to follow military regs. It’s taken 37 yrs for me to Come Out. I struggle with Depression daily as a result of a policy that should never have been. I spend 25% of my pension on mental health because being Gay and how we were treated doesn’t count. Did I not think my mental health a priority, I would be dead. I have contemplated suicide twice in the past year and still do. Finding a LGBQT Community Center and a LGQBT Psychologist has helped but it never escapes me that I’m a veteran having to seek civilian community resources and would be dead were it left to the Veterans Administration.