These are the best (and most absurd) unit patches in the US military

Of course, the clueless T&P writer has zero clue about the US Army South patch. It's to represent the sailing ships first used by Columbus. His ships flew sails emblazoned with the Maltese Cross.

I wish I could show some of our patches Brother Dale. We were known as river rats and some of our patches had a heavily armed Rat riding on one of our troop carriers. We were also known as being part of the Alligator Navy because some of our boats would pull up on the riverbank and drop the ramp, letting the Army troops out. The Alligator designation was from the LST ships, don't ask me why. So, there were also some Alligator patches. Different Squadrons, and different Divisions all had identifying patches.

MAJ Dale E. Wilson, Ph.D. LTC Trent Klug PO3 Edward Riddle This one is from Laos (circa 1974-5). I was assigned to Long Tieng to work with Thai mercenaries and Hmong Tribal Soldiers under the command of General Vang Pao. After being gone for 6 months, when I reported back to the 1st SF Group in Okinawa, 1st Group SGM's first words for me was "Go get a Damn Haircut!" and "Get rid of that T-shirt!" (Project 404 Logo was emblazoned on the front of the T-shirt!).