Posted on Apr 24, 2015
11 things First Sergeants say that make troops lose their minds. What have you heard?
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I found this humorous but a lot of truth in it as well. The list does not stop at 11, what is some of the funniest things you've heard?
http://www.businessinsider.com/11-things-first-sergeants-say-that-make-troops-lose-their-minds-2015-4?IR=T
http://www.businessinsider.com/11-things-first-sergeants-say-that-make-troops-lose-their-minds-2015-4?IR=T
1SG
First Sergeant
Humor
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 81
I really don't understand this thread.. Im quite sure no sentence I ever uttered as a 1SG was ever received by my Soldiers as anything other than lovingly welcome, professional and well timed , articulate and sucent guidance that helped them achieve greatness as a team.
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.
Thats my story and I'm sticking to it.
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CSM Charles Hayden Passed 7/29/2025
And if they did not receive the ""--"", as lovingly imparted guidance?
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SGM Erik Marquez
CSM Charles Hayden Passed 7/29/2025 - And if they did not receive the ""--"", as lovingly imparted guidance?"
Then it was lovingly and slowly explained to them why their perception was misguided.
Then it was lovingly and slowly explained to them why their perception was misguided.
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"Standby to standby." Translation: Some unknown-to-you event is supposed to happen sometime in the next 1-to-20 hours, so sit here and don't go anywhere or start doing anything productive because we'll have at least 3 false-alarms before we finally get word that the unknown event has been cancelled.
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SPC (Join to see)
I'm often asked how I can be so patient. "It's the one thing the army made sure I knew how to do, from day 1" is always my response.
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CSM Charles Hayden Passed 7/29/2025
Waiting in the military taught me to wait in a relaxed position with my eyes closed. I also learned to use anything in the vicinity as a pillow!
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1stSgt Jeff Blovat
My wife still can’t stand it when I say “stand by”. I used it on the road as a trooper because I knew if the driver I pulled over was military, they’d ask if I was and it would help with things.
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While I was in basic our First Sergeant came in the barracks and asked who loved art, several trainees raised their hands, he then asked how many of you like to dance, several trainees raised their hands. They left with the First Sergeant and didn't return until dark. The art lovers had painted barracks all day, and the dancers "waltzed" a mop around in all the mess halls. First thing my dad told me," Don't volunteer for anything". First time I ever listened to him.
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SMSgt Lawrence McCarter
That is first rule of military service, never volunteer for anything. They will come in looking for volunteers, but every time the volunteer gets screwed.
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SFC Stephen Atchley
My first weekend in AIT our Drill Sergeant came in and announced he needed four volunteers for an unspecified detail. No one moved. He stood there, looking expectantly until, finally, myself and three others raised our hands. He then announced that the 'detail' was having a free day to spend on our own, and that all the non-volunteers were to go with him to perform a variety of unpleasant janitorial tasks. So, at least once, it paid to volunteer.
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"You need to police..." often followed by:
the brass
the butts
yourself
your buddy
the brass
the butts
yourself
your buddy
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"But, you have to take your APFT" generally tops the list.
"if it ain't raining, we ain't training"
"O-dark thirty"
"if it ain't raining, we ain't training"
"O-dark thirty"
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MAJ (Join to see)
1LT William Clardy In my best Robin Williams (Adrian Cronauer) voice, "What's the "O" for? Oh my God, it's early!"
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1LT William Clardy
MAJ (Join to see), probably one of my evilest joys as a corporal was to don crisply pressed fatigue pants and spit-shined Corcorans then go wake my mortar section with more perkiness in my "Good morning!" than an over-caffeinated Katie Couric.
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1LT William Clardy
CPT (Join to see), I wish I had a dime for every time I heard somebody talk about if they had a dime for every time something happened....
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"Hero" / "Heroes" as used by every Tom, Dick, and Harry who doesn't wear a uniform to describe every Tom, Dick, and Harry that does. Actually, not as badly used now as it was there for a few years.
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GySgt Wayne A. Ekblad
Can you honestly say that the word "hero" wasn't a bit over-used for a little while? If not, okay ... guess it's just me.
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Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS
Just over 20 years ago, in my first Highschool Senior Essay assignment, we had one on Heroes.
For the purposes of the class, a Hero was someone who embodied all the ideals of a Society. We had started with Beowulf. He was a braggart, strong as the world, viscous, cunning, and a killer. Later in the assignment, we used James Bond. He was suave, smart, but most of all materialistic.
"If" we are Heroes. What are the traits we embody? It's not just the good. It's not just the bad...
For the purposes of the class, a Hero was someone who embodied all the ideals of a Society. We had started with Beowulf. He was a braggart, strong as the world, viscous, cunning, and a killer. Later in the assignment, we used James Bond. He was suave, smart, but most of all materialistic.
"If" we are Heroes. What are the traits we embody? It's not just the good. It's not just the bad...
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1LT William Clardy
Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS, I'm with GySgt Wayne A. Ekblad.
Real world conversations and speeches are not literary analyses. "Hero" should be used to describe somebody who did or does something heroic, not diluted by the self-esteem weenies to give a pat on the back to every guy or gal who works long hours to keep the rent paid and the family fed.
Real world conversations and speeches are not literary analyses. "Hero" should be used to describe somebody who did or does something heroic, not diluted by the self-esteem weenies to give a pat on the back to every guy or gal who works long hours to keep the rent paid and the family fed.
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Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS
1LT William Clardy I agree with him as well. But "heroic" is an ideal. What is heroic to us in the US, is different than what is heroic to people in other parts of the world.
To (what has become) the average American, Hero was apt. To us, it's guys like Kyle Carpenter & Dakota Meyer. It's a relative term. To me, my father will always be my hero. A man I aspire to be a fraction of.
It's not diluting anything, it's taking it in context.
To (what has become) the average American, Hero was apt. To us, it's guys like Kyle Carpenter & Dakota Meyer. It's a relative term. To me, my father will always be my hero. A man I aspire to be a fraction of.
It's not diluting anything, it's taking it in context.
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At a platoon sergeants meeting in the first sergeant's office:
First Sergeant: "... And this should be your top priority today."
First Sergeant: "... This will be your top priority today."
First Sergeant: "... This is our top priority today."
Platoon Sergeant: "Which is our Number One Top Priority for today?"
First Sergeant: "They all are."
First Sergeant: "... And this should be your top priority today."
First Sergeant: "... This will be your top priority today."
First Sergeant: "... This is our top priority today."
Platoon Sergeant: "Which is our Number One Top Priority for today?"
First Sergeant: "They all are."
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One I have heard since meeting a Drill Sergeant when I was a recruit was "This man's Army" and the man who they were relating to was the President I believe.
Another one I have heard many 1SGs say is "Dog gone" this and that.
"Give me three dog gone bodies yesterday"
"My dog gone barracks are jacked up"
Another one I have heard many 1SGs say is "Dog gone" this and that.
"Give me three dog gone bodies yesterday"
"My dog gone barracks are jacked up"
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SSG (ret) William Martin
I think dog gone is a nice way of not using profanity in front of family
and children.
and children.
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CSM Charles Hayden Passed 7/29/2025
SSG William Martin, Your SGT 'doggone' could well be the grandson of my 1953 era SGT 'doggone'.
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SSG (ret) William Martin
Sometime even "doggone" would be joined by "it" and if 1SG ever said, "doggone it" I know crap just hit the fan.
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1LT William Clardy
SSG (ret) William Martin, please watch your language.
This here is a perfessional form, and you should use proper terminology to reference a ventilator defecation-impact incident.
This here is a perfessional form, and you should use proper terminology to reference a ventilator defecation-impact incident.
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