Have you considered suicide? What helped you choose life?

CH (MAJ) William Beaver, I considered suicide many times in my life. I was molested and threatened with death by the time I was 10 years old which may have had some bearing on my depression. I took many foolish chances as a young man but by the grace of God I survived with mere bruises and breaks. I had bouts with clinical depression defined as making serious plans to end my life and being prepared to execute those plans.
I was clinically depressed before I recognized my need for a savior in 1987 and repented and became a believer in my Lord and savior Jesus the Christ.
I have been clinically depressed after that point. While the depth of depression is the same before and after Christ the sense of hopelessness I experienced prior to my salvation was not.
After my first wife served no-contact orders on my while I was going through a recent diagnosis of heart disease, I was severely depressed and made a plan to drive off a cliff somewhere. I calmly began to execute my plan when the Lord prompted me to trust Him, turn around and go home. The level of depression was the same as before but I had hope.
Hope in Christ is not a maybe it is the most surest thing in existence. I have been through many unbelievable challenging situations since my last confrontation with suicidal thoughts in the 1990's.
My hope in Christ and my absolute faith in God helps me each day. God sustains me. They that endure to the end the same shall be saved.
SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4", SGT Forrest Stewart, SPC (Join to see), LTC Stephen C., SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA, SGT Randal Groover, CH (COL) Geoff Bailey, SSG Selwyn Bodley, COL Mikel J. Burroughs, 2LT (Join to see), SFC (Join to see), CPL Doug Hill, LTJG Robert M., CW5 Charlie Poulton, SSG (Join to see)

I tried to commit suicide when I was 14, I was dealing with abusive grandparents, parents who didn't believe me, and my high school coaches unwilling to work with me while I was sick and in therapy. My support group was down to zero, and eventually I realized that I as long as I'm looking out for myself and doing what's right in my eyes that I'm worth living worth. My psychiatrist asked me once 'who's voice do you imagine as your conscience'. Not sure what other people hear, but my psychiatrist seems to think it's normal to imagine a parent or mentor's voice advising you when debating a tough decision. I've only ever heard my voice, because everyone in my life who was supposed to be a parental or mentor-type figure has let me down in a big way at one point or another. I trust myself and I think I'm worth living for. I also don't think those people who have made it their goal to make my life miserable are worth dying for.

Honestly, I love myself too much to commit suicide. Besides, my wife would kill me.

Sir - great post CH (MAJ) William Beaver - thank you!
I never tried suicide, but I think knowing my purpose here sustains me to choose life and the same can help others. I think too often some people feel unappreciated and unwanted because they're just aren't enough kind, loving people in their life to encourage them and convince them they DO HAVE value! For 52 years, the sun has been coming up for me too, but tomorrow is not promised to any of us - do what you can for others today!

I lost my mother to suicide when I was very young. It is a painful act that can destroy families

suicide thought is a continual thing, but it's a sorta minor passing thought from depression, and always ends with "After BurningMan", but Burning man is my cure for society

Yes, I have been there. I was going through a hard time in life and I had the gun loaded was in a secluded place, and the only thing that I could think of not to do it was "what's next?" And the next day I went and talked to the recruiter and joined the Navy.
That was July of '89.

I have contemplated it. I had lost my first job after getting out, I couldn't afford rent and was about to be evicted, my wife was talking about divorcing me. I was having panic attacks whenever I was told something bad. I felt lost, no direction, and alone. I knew there were places to get help so I walked to the closest VA clinic. I found out I had to register and be accepted for VA health care. So I registered. I saw a doctor and told him everything. He recommended me for a social worker and to see a psychologist. This was before I got the notice about being evicted. I had another panic attack and my wife was not around. It was a scary thing to experience when you are alone. I called the suicide hotline and they were able to help me stop the panic attack. I started to fight. I finally started to work again. I was driving for Uber. While I wasn't happy with that job, at least I was making money. It also made it so I had a fall back if I found a job I wanted and it didn't work out. So I have a safety net, so to speak. It is scary. Getting out and feeling like there is no one to talk to who understands. Feeling like the ones you love just won't ever understand. Feeling alone and with no direction. I guess I am lucky. I am a fighter. I never give up. I always have a goal to complete. While I might not have the financial stability I once had. I am in a way better place than I was 2 years ago. I still see the same doctor at the same VA clinic once a year. I have started to work out and I have been tobacco free for at least one year. I completed my bachelor's degree in Accounting and Business Administration. I started my own business, JV Consulting, and am a CTEC Registered Tax Return Preparer, QuickBooks ProAdvisor, and a Certified Bill.com Expert. I have 15 clients that I do tax returns for and hope to add more clients in the next tax season. I am working as an Accounting Clerk for a not-for-profit organization. I am looking to take the CPA exam next year and start volunteering at a not-for-profit that my wife is going to become the President and Chairwoman of. I am looking at volunteering to help other veterans as soon as possible. So I would say, stay strong. Things will always get better. If you are thinking about suicide contact the Suicide Prevention Hotline or go the closest VA clinic. Above all never give up and always keep lines of communication open.

As a troubled Teenager I played with the Idea in my Brain, Sure but only if I could do it in such a way that someone that pissed my off got blamed for it. I was a Loner and I had Depression Issues. Fortunately I found someone/something that taped into my Latent Talents and never looked back. The Navy made good use of an Electronic Mischief Maker.

I have built a massive community around resilience and hold summits where veterans share their stories of overcoming adversity. We choose if we want to be involved in others lives or not. It is never easy and there are so many stories of what I call "the pivot". Stay in the fight. It is only after we change our thinking that real change happens.