How do you deal with the Military being your past life?

I spent a total of 8 years in the military between my active and National Guard time. By the time my ETS date came around I was ready to be out. I had been hiding chronic back issues for some time, and it was getting harder and harder to do. After getting out, I missed it... a lot.

Within a year, I had started a new, and my current, career. My daughter was born just after that. Before long, I had been out three years and hardly noticed. I spoke with my wife about going back. She was supportive enough, but she also wanted to know why. When I told her I missed it, she looked at me kind of funny. She then told me one of the truest facts of my life, "You don't miss the Army. You miss the guys." Though this should have been painfully obvious, I hadn't even considered it.

The following summer I was invited to my old unit's summer picnic. I jumped at the chance to go. I still had friends in the unit, and it would be great to see them and feel like one of the guys again. Once there, I felt like an outsider. My friends, while welcoming enough, had their own inside jokes, heirarchy, and communication. I quickly found that I got along better with the other vets from the unit and spent most of my time with them.

It took me some time to realize that I was not one of the guys anymore, but I did find that I enjoyed the company of other vets. This was the big thing I came to realize. When I see a currently serving service member, I treat him/her with the respect he/she deserves, but I don't approach the service member like I'm one of them. I'm not. I was. What I am, is what he/she may one day become, a veteran. If he/she needs, or wants, my advice or help, I will gladly give it. For right now, I am only someone who used to know what it's like, way back when; and I've come to terms with that.

My time in the military is something I will always remember with a great deal of pride. As someone said above, I will never be the man I was back then, but that is not a bad thing. Since my time in the military I have: earned a Bachelor's Degree, earned a Master's Degree, been accepted to a PhD program (I declined), had two amazing kids, bought my first house, run a marathon and a double marathon, and a whole host of other things that I am also proud of. Being in the military was probably the most formative experience of my life, and that experience has made me the man I am today.

Let it go... it is a young man's/woman's game....

I miss it every day.

I spent 24 years in the US Navy,20 years as a Snapon tool dealer. I'm 70 years old now and retired. I don't think of myself as a retired Snapon tool dealer but as a Chief Petty Officer. By the way you can call me by my first name which is CHIEF!

I'm a Marine... Its never past. I just don't wear the uniform any longer, but for us, its never in the past.

21 years I wore Navy Blue. I can't fit in myt Crackerjacks anymore but I am still a Sailor and a Veteran and no that is not past. It was my Life for all those years I am still Proud to call myself a Navy Spook (Although my skills are probably nothing compared to what Military Spooks can do now days).