In the middle of heated debate, where do you stop and think that this is where you should probably draw the line (suicide vs. depression)?

SSG Jessica Bautista, "Where, in the middle of heated debate, do you stop and think that this is where you should probably draw the line?"

I stop when it becomes personal.

Admitting you have a problem and that you have drug or alcohol issues is the first step to getting a grip and staying alive. Consuming alcohol, pain killers and taking anti-depressants like my sister is not a good mix to help you get over your mental problems.

Honestly, I lost my sister to Suicide on the 4th of July, 2015. She was 49. She had over 3 decades of feeling bad for being down and out for having an abortion (A civilian having post traumatic stress) in her teens and later she had a tumor and she had a hyserectomy. She blew her chance to have kids. She could not bear children which made her feel guilty.She had 8 little dogs to compensate.

She went through 3 marriages. She left the first one because he worked hard and did not go party like she did for over a decade, She left her second partying and driniking buddy husband for a death row inmate who she knew in High School though he was on death row and She was a death row groupie that would go see him and felt a bond for someone who would never get out of San Quentin except in a coffin!

Some of you may recognize my sister's suicde posting from earlier here on RP but I did not get into many details like today. I wanted to put some context so others here can understand and see if my premis of drugs abuse and alcohol is a real issue that many do not discuss possibly because they like to drink and don't see how it can affect them.

My sister always had a drinking problem had an explosive personality. She met her 2nd husband like her 3rd at a bar. This leads me to discuss that drugs, painkillers and alcohol are factors that many here don't see as a common denominator. She was a functioning alcholic. She had high school, some college completed and she adept to leave a job by telling an employer to F off and find another one through a temp agency in no time at all.

My sister's 3rd husband and her were both drunks and they were abusive. She hung herself the day after she was served with a divorce. She and I were estranged so we did not talk but she hung herself after her estranged 3rd husband had left to a 4th of July party she was not invited to since she, in the past, did not get along with her sister-in-law

My sister was seen by one of my cousins a few months before she killed herself and he said she was a mess but my sister excommunited me when she was challenged by me for elder abuse by having my mom add her to my mother's account. My mother was suffering early dementia and she did not remember taking her to the bank to add her. She stole a couple of thousand and when I confronted her about it she e-mailed me telling me to never talk to her again. She always bragged to family that she was at this or that bar and grill and she even posted that she was into AA and that beer was not addicting like wine or whisky which showed how out of touch she was.

http://obits.ocregister.com/obituaries/orangecounty/obituary.aspx?n=rose-loretta-conway&pid=175315548

By the way, my wife is a Canadian Native Indian. She is Cree and we both live in the City of Edmonton, Aberta, Canada.

Her family and her Indian Reserve/Reservation have a severe pandemic of unemployment (80%) drug abuse, suicide, gang shootings and crime and alcohol issues on her reserve that has resulted in many suicides and drug/alcohol related on the reserve that emulate the broken homes of inner city poverty and single mom's with a dad missing from the home but getting others pregnant in and around the same reserve and they are druggies or drunks themselves.

Fetal alcohol syndrome is common and those kids are not as smart as Forest Gump and getting high, getting pregnant or getting others pregnant too. This lost Generation on the Indian Reserve is in the news often but what is not said is WHITE people are just as easily in the same drug/alcohol hook but its not really discussed except at AA meetings and now I am talking about it here since substance abuse is not disucssed enough. My sister is one person who died but my Wife has at least 5 cousins dead by suicide due to a breakup and what helped them cope was drugs/alcohol to do the deed. My Wife's oldest sister tried to OD on pills over her druggie BF. My wife would walk in the cemetery on her Indian Reseve and she would say this person died by house fire, died by car accident with drunk driver, hit by drunk driver, died mysteriously, drive-by shooting, found dead from O.D., died by not getting medical attention of a pre-existing problem. The culture of neglect, drugs, alchohol, unemployment and crime which I feel can affect servicemembers too here.

I know here we are talking about the 25 or so vets who kill themselves monthly but I am just thinking that sobriety is the key to admitting you are addicted and seeking help.

Call Army One Source for help or advice 24/7. They do have funding for 24/7
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Col (Join to see) Col (Join to see) COL Mikel J. Burroughs LTC John Shaw LTC Stephen F. CPT Pedro Meza
SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4" SSG Trust Palmer SSG Warren Swan SSG Jessica Bautista SSG Derrick L. Lewis MBA, C-HRM SGT Gregory Lawritson SFC George Smith SFC Mark Merino SFC William Farrell MSG Chris Allen SrA Christopher Wright TSgt Melissa Post

I suffer from depression and just recently wanted to end it. In fact it was December 23, 2016. Some things had happened and I found myself in my room crying thinking of the 9mm in my chest of drawers calling my name. What saved me was my son calling me on the phone telling me he was on his way over. It was not the first time I have had these thoughts and I know it won't be the last time either.

With that being said, I cannot take depression as a lighthearted subject. Yes, I am in therapy and yes I am taking medicine. Is it enough, most likely not. A lot of times when a people gets to the point when suicide is their only option left, it's because they feel trapped and there is no other way out for themselves.

It takes a warrior to fight the battles inside themselves and stay alive, but it also takes a warrior to end their demons that are fighting within themselves too.

Never ever take depression for granted, if you feel if someone is reaching out, don't be afraid to ask how they are doing. You never know, you starting the conversation with them just might save their life.