What are the best excuses you have heard for people not joining the military?

I almost joined but I got a sprained ankle the day before I was suppose to leave for boot camp so I just said forget it.

"I can't have someone telling me when I can eat and I don't want to cut my hair."

My brother in law always hounded me about the Marines. He'd ask about everything, always wanted to know more. He always said that he would join at 18. 18 rolls around, and he abruptly stops asking about it. I ask him what's going on, since he kept posting on Facebook how he was joining. His response was that he couldn't get his dad to sign. I responded that as he was a legal adult, he didn’t need his father's signature. The next excuse, 3 months later, was that his dad had told him he wanted to go with him to the recruiter but couldn't go that week. At 20, he finally shipped, and he turned out to be a good Marine, but I'll never forget the 2 year debacle that marked his decision making process.

"I'm too smart for the military" as they tell me I am one of the smartest people they have ever met.

Either they don't link up that my haircut and posture and interest in the military links to my service, or they are too self absorbed to care.

I guess the best or worse, take your choice came from our esteemed( gag throw up sounds) former Secretary of State(,John horse face Kerry) who said only those that cannot make it in civilian life join the Military,this from a former Naval Officer ,you just can’t make this stupid stuff up ,what a disgrace to the uniform and Country.

"Well, I'm a society lady.
Only 'bad girls' join the Army."

My Favorite was a friend from High School said: "Man I'm gonna see the world on my own without a "buzz cut" (it was 1979 and short hair was not the thing). He's 54 now and never left the East Coast or even seen the Mississippi River

I had a buddy who was supposed to do this buddy system with me where you get your first assignment together. He told me after I went alone to MEPS, "I'm not goin to join. I got flat feet and they won't take me." He told me my recruiter told him that, but my recruiter never herd of him or dealt with anyone flat-footed recently. Fast forward six years, he lives in his grandmother's garage. Unemployed with no work ethic.

There is no excuse needed.

God told him not to. That he would kill many.