What's the weirdest thing you've seen while on CQ/Duty?

I had to duct tape a drunk POS down to an Army cot. CSM said if he read about one more alcohol incident he would ban drinking in the barracks. After his pissing in the hallways, fighting, puking, and lip to my OIC, I had him go to dinner to not be around for what was about to go down. I called his 1SG and requested a little latitude and was given the green light. Things were a little different back then. His 1SG commended me for not throwing him off the roof, which is what he would have probably done.

When I was the Officer of the Day at Eglin AFB the OD at Pensacola NAS called and said that a civilian brought in a crippled pigeon with a government leg band, and he wanted to know if it was an Air Force bird.

I checked with a couple of projects that I knew about and confirmed that it was indeed an Air Force bird, but the project didn't want it back. They said the civilian could keep it.

Well I wasn't on CQ rather I was called by CQ because two of my Soldiers decided to eat a bunch of "magic" mushrooms and wonder around Fort Drum. One of them stripped down to his underwear, wondered through the woods and came out by the main gate where he proceeded to climb onto a girl's car, do some "karate" and then do a flip through her windshield. I had to pick him up in the ER before he went to the MP station.

Coleman barracks, a slow Sunday, I'm watching traffic (non existent) from my mean green MP van. Out of nowhere comes a smaller hatchback type vehicle driven by some engineer types. No biggie except for the six foot chicken sticking out the back of the hatch. The same six foot chicken a popular chicken shack used for advertising located right outside the front gate. I generally tried to stay on the good side of the 8ID so I just turned them over to their squad leader. A good laugh was had by all after the chicken was returned.

Came back from being downrange (bars in Mannheim,Germany) sitting at CQ Desk(C Co 5/77th Ar Bn Sullivan Barracks 1980's ) talking the CQ Sergeant(Harris) and runner. Up the stairs comes Cpl. Dinova(name change, kind of an odd-ball). Face covered in blood, clumped up in his mustache, but all happy and smiling. We were all puzzled because he looked like he had been beat up;

Well anyway Harris got him talking. And Dinova had just took his re- enlistment bonus and bought a Porsche and finally managed to pick up a chick that night. (Bar Slut from our "Battalion' Bar downtown, Not ugly , but deaf German girl who was there alot). So anyway Dinova being drunk and with Harris egging him on , he gave us all the "juciy" details and we were laughing along with him. Turned out he had eaten this girl out while she was on the rag, but being dark in his car he never noticed and all the blood and stuff caked on his face and moustache. So after he 'bragged" enough, he said "Well I gotta go to bed , C'you all later!" Anyway he headed into the latrine down the hall, by then we were all rolling, and then we heard him puking , I imagine when he saw the mirrors in our latrine. which really had us all rolling worse, think I fell out of the chair I was sitting in laughing so hard. Let's just say, he did not ever liive that one down after that. Classic Dinova

A drunk drill Sergeant in basic told me not to write letters on my 1 hour fire guard. He snuck up on me and said ' had this been war I could have had my throat cut'. This was when I was a E-4 22 years ago.
Col (Join to see) Col (Join to see) LTC John Shaw LTC Greg Henning SrA Christopher Wright TSgt Melissa Post
SFC William Farrell SFC George Smith SFC Mark Merino
CPT Pedro Meza CPT L S CPT Jack Durish SSG Derrick L. Lewis MBA, C-HRM SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4" CSM David Heidke CSM William DeWolf PO1 William "Chip" Nagel PO1 John Miller

About 3AM a very VERY well built young female airman in a very VERY tiny bikini came down the stairs passed the dayroom with a 1" rope crisscrossing her chest, wrapping around her waist and trailing back up the stairs. I asked if she was okay and she replied that it was her rope and kept going. About 30' behind her 3 guys were hanging on to the other end of the rope for all they were worth!

Ha-ha, well actually a humorous and wierd thing. It was West Germany, MP's showed up in their issued OD Green VW Vanagon van. Sliding door opens and they have my soon to be Chaptered roomie in back completely drunk, who had issues with drinking. They bring him in and tell the SGT that was CG, "I believe he belongs to this unit and you need to take care of him, we found him stumbling around just outside the posts front gate". The CQ responds "OK we'll take it from here, thanks for bringing him back". MP is still standing there. CQ says "Well, is there something else I can help you with?". MP says "Well I don't know how to put this but your Soldier relieved himself in the back of my van and I need someone to clean it up". CQ SGT says: "Ohhhhh Noooo, thats part of being an MP, you need to clean that up yourself, I'm not sending any of my men out to clean the inside of your van". So that was probably the most unexpected thing because up until then I felt there wasn't any work detail too dirty for the Infantry MOS to get involved with.

Once on CQ at 0246 on our outside CQ desk I heard a shout of "Airborne" from the 3rd floor balcony just a second later a white rat came floating down under a GI Joe parachute

Seen a Soldier Sleep walk perfectly from her room to the front door and back to her room without waking up, this happened when I was in AIT in FT Lee, VA