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Rally Point, it's been a very long weekend with the events that have been going on over the last 10 days. With many of the discussions focusing on that, there isn't much room to decompress, so being I'm a Jeff Foxworthy fan, instead of "You know you're Redneck if...Let's do "You know you're a Veteran if..... I'm posting these memes of mine to get it going. But to add to them..You know you're a veteran if:
1. Your credit score is higher than your first paycheck as a private
2. You laugh when you hear troops talking about how broke they are, but have money for beer.
3. You smiled when told the forecast for rain, just to show up to PT formation and it's dry...UNTIL you start doing PT...
4. Your favorite brand of liquor was called "whatever someone else bought"...meaning it was free.
5. You remember laughing at troops who thought 29% APR was good...
6. Your version of giving directions to get somewhere near Ft. Bragg uses strip clubs, tattoo parlors, and used car dealerships as reference points...
7. You were told by your PSG that Top wanted to see you in his office. The current temp outside his office is a nice 72 degrees....the moment you go in, it's 172 degrees and rising, and when you crawl out, it's below zero being you just got done sweating half your body weight.
8. You're scared to walk on your own grass at home, so you hire someone to do it.
9. You are no longer active military, but still know where your PT belt is
10. You can look at all the meds you take in one hand, but the total count is more than you have fingers, toes, and limbs.
11. You're in PT formation and all the NCO's line up in the first rank to call cadence, and EVERY one of them can only know...C130 rolling down the strip.....
AND GO.......
1. Your credit score is higher than your first paycheck as a private
2. You laugh when you hear troops talking about how broke they are, but have money for beer.
3. You smiled when told the forecast for rain, just to show up to PT formation and it's dry...UNTIL you start doing PT...
4. Your favorite brand of liquor was called "whatever someone else bought"...meaning it was free.
5. You remember laughing at troops who thought 29% APR was good...
6. Your version of giving directions to get somewhere near Ft. Bragg uses strip clubs, tattoo parlors, and used car dealerships as reference points...
7. You were told by your PSG that Top wanted to see you in his office. The current temp outside his office is a nice 72 degrees....the moment you go in, it's 172 degrees and rising, and when you crawl out, it's below zero being you just got done sweating half your body weight.
8. You're scared to walk on your own grass at home, so you hire someone to do it.
9. You are no longer active military, but still know where your PT belt is
10. You can look at all the meds you take in one hand, but the total count is more than you have fingers, toes, and limbs.
11. You're in PT formation and all the NCO's line up in the first rank to call cadence, and EVERY one of them can only know...C130 rolling down the strip.....
AND GO.......
Troops
Humor
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 69
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You might be a veteran if you see a sign that says "ABSOLUTLY No profanity, no smoking and no Drinking" and you respond by patting all of your battle dress pockets and screaming out "dammit I left my cigarettes at the bar"....
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You are probably a veteran if you joined the military with an idea that you wanted to defend this nation SSG Warren Swan. You would definitely be a veteran if you were sent to places you never heard of before and either fought there or grew to like the place you never heard of.
You could also be a veteran if near where you worked there were streets lined with bars, liquor stores, pawn shops, check-cashing places, houses of prostitution, and cheap motels and on paydays people were lined up to take your money.
You could also be a veteran if near where you worked there were streets lined with bars, liquor stores, pawn shops, check-cashing places, houses of prostitution, and cheap motels and on paydays people were lined up to take your money.
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SSG Warren Swan
LTC Stephen F. - You can loose a lot of things in the Army or military in general. But you'll never forget IMO some of the BS that was funny then, the details you had to do that you thought then were crazy, the brotherhood of the Warrior Class, and those that loved you. Might forget names and a few places, but I can't imagine ever forgetting the times I've had both good and bad. If only we could put memories in picture directly from our brains. I'm also glad that you're family was involved in everything you did. Many have no clue how important they really are.
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TSgt John Temblador, PI, CIPA
FROM MY GENERATION.. OLD FARTS! Â From a Friend on Facebook...
Tony Rose
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.Â
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....Â
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.Â
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.Â
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.Â
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.Â
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.Â
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.Â
Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.Â
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!Â
Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so they can read it.
Tony Rose
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.Â
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....Â
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.Â
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.Â
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.Â
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.Â
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.Â
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.Â
Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.Â
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!Â
Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so they can read it.
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SN Greg Wright
LTC Stephen F. SSG Warren Swan I spent a great deal of time in Asia (both in the Nav and out)....
....I'll leave it at that, gentlemen! :)
....I'll leave it at that, gentlemen! :)
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You might be a veteran if you telling your children be in bed at 20:30 hrs.
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SSG Warren Swan
SSG Audwin Scott - I know, that's going to be one of the things I'll miss in this life. But then again my father was a NCO, and he just said BED NOW...and if we wanted to "discuss" the matter with him afterwards, it truly was a one sided convo. And he won. Every. Time.
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SN Greg Wright
SSG Warren Swan Goddammit Staff. You just made me waste valuable beer in a classic spit-take.
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SSG Warren Swan If you still instinctively look for a place to hide upon seeing an e-9 without coffee in hand...you might be a vet.
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MSG (Join to see)
I'm not an E-9 (clearly), but if I show up to the office or formation without coffee in hand, my Soldiers do tend to get a little nervous.
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PO1 John Miller
SN Greg Wright
The Commander of my Combat Vets Motorcycle Association chapter is a recently retired Air Force Chief Master Sergeant. I've been retired for 3 years and I'm still a bit afraid to talk directly to him and call him by his first name.
The Commander of my Combat Vets Motorcycle Association chapter is a recently retired Air Force Chief Master Sergeant. I've been retired for 3 years and I'm still a bit afraid to talk directly to him and call him by his first name.
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PO1 Bill Adams
Once got a good laugh, when I saw an E9 I worked arrive at work. He was driving. He stopped in front of the building got out of the car with a coffee cup in his hand. His wife got out of the passenger side to move to the driver side, with a coffee cup in her hand. Just too stereotypical not to laugh.
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SN Greg Wright
CPT (Join to see) Ground-pounders say that? Huh. Always thought those were a Navy thing.
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You laugh to yourself when your civilian friends complain of how hard their jobs are! ....They have no idea!
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CH (CPT) Ephraim Travis
Or when civilians complain about waiting on a line, when they don't like the food or the weather...
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Capt Seid Waddell
SSG Warren Swan \, MSG (Join to see), after you get out it is replaced with Hoppe's No. 9 for both purposes.
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When your audience isn't disturbed when you start a story
"There I was, balls deep in a camel's a$$"
or you respond
"Well f#*k me in the goat's a$$ running uphill backwards!"
"There I was, balls deep in a camel's a$$"
or you respond
"Well f#*k me in the goat's a$$ running uphill backwards!"
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SSG Warren Swan
Well MSgt, if a SNCO say's it, it's probably believable. If a 2LT said it we laugh. If a GO said it, then more than likely it was his CSM who did it. If a Warrant said it....run. He knows too much about everything.
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...if you come home to a well-cooked meal and tell your wife, "Out-STANDING!"
...if you rant about the inaccuracy of war movies-but cry during "Rambo" and "Delta Force"
...if your wife has to remind you that "khaki on khaki" doesn't "match"
...if you own a jacket or hat with too much "flair"
...if you polish your work boots
...if you take a different route home each night
...if you think a six-pack a night is "normal"
...if you've told the same story, seven different times, to the same people
...if you spend more time on RP than you do on FB
...if you rant about the inaccuracy of war movies-but cry during "Rambo" and "Delta Force"
...if your wife has to remind you that "khaki on khaki" doesn't "match"
...if you own a jacket or hat with too much "flair"
...if you polish your work boots
...if you take a different route home each night
...if you think a six-pack a night is "normal"
...if you've told the same story, seven different times, to the same people
...if you spend more time on RP than you do on FB
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SSG Warren Swan
Ummm well....Sir.....as a matter of fact...... most of those do apply to me minus the six pack, Motrin, and polish my work boots..... I actually prefer this to FB lol
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LTC (Join to see)
I broke my foot last deployment in Iraq. The Doc gave me a big bottle of motrin and told me to not walk on gravel or uneven surfaces. I looked at him and asked, "Sir, have you been outside since you got here?" The whole damn place was nothing but sand, gravel and uneven surfaces. I almost asked him if they were going to issue me a hoverboard....
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You go to receive your paycheck and look up above you to see the armed guards with NBC masks on the hips.
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MSG (Join to see)
SSG Warren Swan - It was my very first paycheck I received while on active duty (per say). It was in basic training and we were reporting for pay. Actual paychecks issued out to us..........just to side step to the next table to turn the cash into travelers checks to send back home........and we received our pay in the gym. When I walked in, there were Soldiers walking the tops of the bleachers with loaded rifles at the low ready with NBC masks on their hips.
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SSG Warren Swan
MSG (Join to see) - I forgot about the days before you HAD to have an direct deposit account. I remember getting my first "check" like that and going with the DS to a "PX" to buy toiletries, running shoes, and crap like that.
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SN Greg Wright
SSG Warren Swan MSG (Join to see) Ahhh, the good old days of watching the SuppO, with a contingent of armed guards, traipse off to the Treasury in San Fran to get the cash for Payday...for which we had to line up on the Cargo Deck, with said guards standing bored-ly by!
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CDR Jon Corrigan
Getting paid with two dollar bills in Norfolk so the Admiral could make a point with the Chamber of Commerce. It worked.
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