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Rally Point, it's been a very long weekend with the events that have been going on over the last 10 days. With many of the discussions focusing on that, there isn't much room to decompress, so being I'm a Jeff Foxworthy fan, instead of "You know you're Redneck if...Let's do "You know you're a Veteran if..... I'm posting these memes of mine to get it going. But to add to them..You know you're a veteran if:
1. Your credit score is higher than your first paycheck as a private
2. You laugh when you hear troops talking about how broke they are, but have money for beer.
3. You smiled when told the forecast for rain, just to show up to PT formation and it's dry...UNTIL you start doing PT...
4. Your favorite brand of liquor was called "whatever someone else bought"...meaning it was free.
5. You remember laughing at troops who thought 29% APR was good...
6. Your version of giving directions to get somewhere near Ft. Bragg uses strip clubs, tattoo parlors, and used car dealerships as reference points...
7. You were told by your PSG that Top wanted to see you in his office. The current temp outside his office is a nice 72 degrees....the moment you go in, it's 172 degrees and rising, and when you crawl out, it's below zero being you just got done sweating half your body weight.
8. You're scared to walk on your own grass at home, so you hire someone to do it.
9. You are no longer active military, but still know where your PT belt is
10. You can look at all the meds you take in one hand, but the total count is more than you have fingers, toes, and limbs.
11. You're in PT formation and all the NCO's line up in the first rank to call cadence, and EVERY one of them can only know...C130 rolling down the strip.....
AND GO.......
1. Your credit score is higher than your first paycheck as a private
2. You laugh when you hear troops talking about how broke they are, but have money for beer.
3. You smiled when told the forecast for rain, just to show up to PT formation and it's dry...UNTIL you start doing PT...
4. Your favorite brand of liquor was called "whatever someone else bought"...meaning it was free.
5. You remember laughing at troops who thought 29% APR was good...
6. Your version of giving directions to get somewhere near Ft. Bragg uses strip clubs, tattoo parlors, and used car dealerships as reference points...
7. You were told by your PSG that Top wanted to see you in his office. The current temp outside his office is a nice 72 degrees....the moment you go in, it's 172 degrees and rising, and when you crawl out, it's below zero being you just got done sweating half your body weight.
8. You're scared to walk on your own grass at home, so you hire someone to do it.
9. You are no longer active military, but still know where your PT belt is
10. You can look at all the meds you take in one hand, but the total count is more than you have fingers, toes, and limbs.
11. You're in PT formation and all the NCO's line up in the first rank to call cadence, and EVERY one of them can only know...C130 rolling down the strip.....
AND GO.......
Troops
Humor
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 69
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MSG (Join to see)
SSG Warren Swan - But.....but......my card should trump your Call of Duty.....at least that is what my mom said.
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SGM (Join to see)
1stSgt Jim S. Yes, as a matter of fact that was one of my Basic Drill Sergeants favorites. Unfortunately " A yellow bird with, a yellow bill, landed on, my window sill.."is no longer a viable option for cadence.
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SSG John Jensen
in 91B school at Ft Sam we were marching to that song when a bird shit on me and the other guy in the front row
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You might be a veteran if your friends & family don't want to watch military themed movies with you around to critique the accuracy of the actor's uniforms.
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SGT Dave Tracy
Sightings of Arnold Schwarzenegger reloading in a movie are about as rare as spotting Bigfoot at a Seattle Starbucks.
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You might be a veteran if you tell an employee his Head Space and Timing is all fucked up.
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1LT William Clardy
I reference operator headspace and timing almost as frequently as I ask what the current metrics are on recto-cranial goal achievement....
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SGT Patrick Reno
Employees really stare at you when you tell them to get their head out of their third point of contact.
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1. You know the only "boats" the Navy owns work best underwater.
2. "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" and "Charlie Foxtrot" are your most used quotes.
3. Your definition of constructive criticism is telling a co-worker to get their head out of their 4th point of contact".
4. Your kids know that their full name followed by "front & center" means they're in it deep!
5. You're still on 24 hour time and no one knows what you mean when you tell them you'll meet them at 1500.
6. Your vacation planning involves a 5 paragraph OPORD.
7. You can hold an entire conversation using nothing but acronyms.
8. You know that a P38 and an M1 can each refer to very different items based on the context of the conversation.
9. You comprehend that "peace" is an extremely volatile term.
10. You are not afraid of the fact that everything you wear, carry, use, fire, drive and eat was obtained through the lowest bidding contractor.
2. "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" and "Charlie Foxtrot" are your most used quotes.
3. Your definition of constructive criticism is telling a co-worker to get their head out of their 4th point of contact".
4. Your kids know that their full name followed by "front & center" means they're in it deep!
5. You're still on 24 hour time and no one knows what you mean when you tell them you'll meet them at 1500.
6. Your vacation planning involves a 5 paragraph OPORD.
7. You can hold an entire conversation using nothing but acronyms.
8. You know that a P38 and an M1 can each refer to very different items based on the context of the conversation.
9. You comprehend that "peace" is an extremely volatile term.
10. You are not afraid of the fact that everything you wear, carry, use, fire, drive and eat was obtained through the lowest bidding contractor.
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SGM (Join to see)
MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca, Yes, sir, I still mess my wife and kids up with the "...when you said 6, I thought you meant 0600 not 1800!"
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SN Greg Wright
PO2 (Join to see) - PO2 (Join to see) You articulated that better than I, thanks.
As an aside, please consider making your name viewable to verified members. (Your choice, of course).
As an aside, please consider making your name viewable to verified members. (Your choice, of course).
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PO1 Bill Adams
I've called each of my ships, far worse things that "boat". :) But when I was in some foreign port and happened to catch a view of her anchored in the harbor, it always gave me a bit of thrill.
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SSG Warren Swan
MSG (Join to see) - What's scary is that there are Soldiers like this. I could only IMAGINE the levels of hell that are about to rain down on that Soldiers NCO. I think if that happened to me, I'd run out of the board before CSM kicks him out. Holy sweet baby Jesus that would be bad.
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SSG Warren Swan
SGT Jose Perdelia-Torres - But do not take the meme or any of this personally. It's all to make you laugh or go WTF, that was me at one point, and still laugh.
As far as leaders not knowing everything, the best ones are those who don't, acknowledge that fact, and are willing to make a move to find out. When you know it all, you're really a dumbass at that point, and everyone knows it.
As far as leaders not knowing everything, the best ones are those who don't, acknowledge that fact, and are willing to make a move to find out. When you know it all, you're really a dumbass at that point, and everyone knows it.
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Warren, this has to be one of the single best discussion posts on RP since I joined. Just plain old Barracks humor. Nothing about Politics, Religion, some MILPER reg, or LGBTQ issue. Just us making fun about ourselves, laughing at ourselves, knowing that we get it and most civilians never will. Bravo Zulu!!!
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SSG Warren Swan
Thanks Senior. There's plenty to be serious about, but no need to start the week without a laugh.
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You catch yourself taking your hat off when you enter a building...look around and see everyone else wearing their hats...think about it...then put it back on. For years I kept it off.
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SSG Warren Swan
GOOD ONE!! Not gonna lie, I do take it off when I get in my building. I feel guilty.
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SSG John Jensen
at local sports bar some guy was asking me if my hat made my head hot, as it was sitting on the bar?? a few questions back and forth for me to figure out he was asking why I took off my hat indoors, I told him I hoped his mother slapped him for not taking off his hat indoors, he said 'no, dad did' and I said and you didn't learn anything from that, and he said 'learn what?'
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Shane Harnett
Out 3 years still take my hat off before walking in a door. 28 years of habit is hard to break.
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FROM MY GENERATION.. OLD FARTS! From a Friend on Facebook...
Tony Rose
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so they can read it.
Tony Rose
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every ten seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a month, leaving us more than 280,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' Were bad-tempered and impatient, and maybe letting us kill some ***hole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.....
An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for old guys.... We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however..... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push-ups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too..... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave or to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.
These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those terrorists..... The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million hacked off old farts with bad attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50.... in menopause! You think MEN have attitudes? Ohhhhhhhh my goodness!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
Send this to all of your senior friends in big type so they can read it.
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SSG Warren Swan
"If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser"....THIS I can relate to now!!!
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CH (CPT) Ephraim Travis
Interestingly, I'm fairly certain the picture you posted above is of a Chasidic Rabbi, Lazer Brody who is also known as "Rabbi Rambo" after surviving a suicide mission in Beirut 1982 while with Israeli SF.
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CH (CPT) Ephraim Travis
Roger. I can't find a link in which he retells of the mission and his miraculous survival. I've actually had the pleasure and honor of meeting Rabbi Brody several times and on one of those occasions, he shared it as well.
Basically, in 1982, his SF team of 12 was tasked with a suicide mission to take out SAMs within the Soviet compound in downtown Beirut. They were briefed that the chance of survival was almost zero but the mission was essential for the IDF's long-term success in thwarting Hezbollah, PLO, Islamic Jihad (and other terror groups) attempts to invade from Lebanon. The Soviets backed the terror groups and supplied them with weapons.
Thank G-d, the mission was a success and 4 team members survived. Rabbi Brody recalls how he had carried one of his buddies to safety after having been wounded as well. He had blood streaming down his face which obstructed his vision and he was fading fast. He did not grow up observantly Jewish but in what he thought were to be his last moments, he made a deal with G-d that if He allowed Lazer to make it out, Lazer would devote himself to observant Judaism and Jewish outreach.
http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/lazer_beams/meet_lazer.html
Basically, in 1982, his SF team of 12 was tasked with a suicide mission to take out SAMs within the Soviet compound in downtown Beirut. They were briefed that the chance of survival was almost zero but the mission was essential for the IDF's long-term success in thwarting Hezbollah, PLO, Islamic Jihad (and other terror groups) attempts to invade from Lebanon. The Soviets backed the terror groups and supplied them with weapons.
Thank G-d, the mission was a success and 4 team members survived. Rabbi Brody recalls how he had carried one of his buddies to safety after having been wounded as well. He had blood streaming down his face which obstructed his vision and he was fading fast. He did not grow up observantly Jewish but in what he thought were to be his last moments, he made a deal with G-d that if He allowed Lazer to make it out, Lazer would devote himself to observant Judaism and Jewish outreach.
http://lazerbrody.typepad.com/lazer_beams/meet_lazer.html
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SSG Warren Swan You might be a veteran if you instantly know ALL of the units, symbols and ribbons on an old vet's hat.
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SSG Warren Swan You reflexively say 'pay me back 30' when your child asks to borrow 20 bucks.
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