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22: That is the number of veterans that END their lives every day. That is 8,030 veterans that are no longer with us come December 31, 2014. Too many veterans are dying each year and we need to do better as a nation to battle this statistic. I, for one, almost became part of that statistic last year. I was lucky my wife somehow figured out something was not right because the VA did not help me. Instead, they kept me on a zip-lock bag of medications that I told them made me feel numb and zombie-like. The medications were the reason I was ready to take my own life. They said my medications were not the problem, I just needed to get used to the “new me”. I almost accepted their reasoning, and it would have killed me if I did.
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
The big problem is the stigma that goes with mental health problems. I just heard someone say the other day, “people who commit or attempt suicide are some of the weakest people.” No, we are not. Some of us have been in dark places for years and ultimately see no light at the end of the tunnel. We think the only way to feel better and alleviate the burden on our families is to end our own lives. In my mind, the stigma won’t ever leave until the whole country is educated about the mindsets of suicidal people.
We need to be more proactive in our treatments of depression and mental sickness. We need to be educated on the side effects of the medicines prescribed to us. I was guilty of taking whatever the VA prescribed me without question. It seemed like for the first 2 months, every time I turned around, more medications kept being added to battle the side effects of another. Or they would ask, “Are you still angry?” and I would say yes, so they would keep upping the dosage.
I ask you all to be a good friend and look for the red flags. If you wondering what some red flags may be, I would say listen to “Red Flags” by Soldier Hard. It is a great song that will educate those who don’t really know what to look for. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friend if he looks like he needs help – realize that a veteran who seems like he is going to hurt himself, wants and needs help whether or not he admits it. I can tell you I was afraid to admit I needed help because I felt it made me look weak.
From my personal experience, I felt lost in life because after retirement, I felt like I lost who I was. To me, I was BU2(SCW) Ferretti - Navy Seabee. I did not know how to be Corey Ferretti as a civilian. I also felt like I lost my mission in life and I could not easily get hired. When I finally did get hired, I had troubles adjusting to working there since it was so different than everything I knew. They were great employers, but I just walked out because I could not deal with my own life. I think if more veterans knew to focus on finding a new mission in life once they got out, it would help them so much. There are many veteran-focused groups out there, like Team Rubicon for example, who provide disaster relief. Find something that you love and find a way to make it your work. For me, horses saved my life. I am now apprenticing as a Farrier - I have a lot to learn, but I get to work with horses every day and they are my therapy.
I’m sure there are others on RallyPoint who wouldn’t mind sharing their stories in order to help those who might be in a bad place but don’t want to bring it up. If you’re in a bad place, I would be happy to talk more about my story if you have any questions. A question to other veterans: how have you found your new “life mission” after leaving service?
Suicide
Health
Depression
Command Post
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 71
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Let's look at the challenges. We don't know where they are at, nor can we identify those who are at certain risk of the time. We have control when they go through therapy, however, we don't know who is going to pull the trigger.
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What it means to me is that not only is our "system" of benefits failing us, we are failing ourselves. WE ALL have that buddy that needs a friend. If "THEY" (VA, health care professionals, Chain of Command ect...) refuse to do anything to help more than CYA briefs, we as friends need to step up and be all that we can be.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
SSG Trevor S. Yes you are right we as friends need to step up and that takes us to get educated in the signs to look out for. Far to many dont really understand it till a friend takes there life. SPC Jeff Daley, PhD I thought the same thing why are you going to give someone another 800 number or another number. The one good thing is there is a crisis line that the VA is putting out. It is a great response time to your call i know i used it a few times.
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It means to me that veterans have lost hope, is the simplest way to put it.
Everything on earth is geared towards "one's success in the world", (especially today).
I am reminded of what an old boatswain's mate chief once told me, about growing up in the depression. He said when many of the "affluent" lost all their material possessions, and status in life: he remembered many diving out of skyscraper windows...
He looked at me and said; "you would make it though" - ... It seems he was able to "read in me", the "hope" which was present within, despite the hardships of life.
I ascribe this to my faith in my Lord, who has blessed and kept me from "cares of the world" which can overwhelm many. I'm not saying I have all the answers; only what has given me strength and comfort within my life.
Everything on earth is geared towards "one's success in the world", (especially today).
I am reminded of what an old boatswain's mate chief once told me, about growing up in the depression. He said when many of the "affluent" lost all their material possessions, and status in life: he remembered many diving out of skyscraper windows...
He looked at me and said; "you would make it though" - ... It seems he was able to "read in me", the "hope" which was present within, despite the hardships of life.
I ascribe this to my faith in my Lord, who has blessed and kept me from "cares of the world" which can overwhelm many. I'm not saying I have all the answers; only what has given me strength and comfort within my life.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
You are right once I found my faith again it made me happier and gave me a drive. I still struggle but I talk to my God for guidence. Thank you for sharing.
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SFC (CA) Roland Dell
My pleasure, glad your encouraged, after my NDE experience "on my 20": none the less, it seems I understand more about the world, and my Lord more than ever before. Yet this is what he has done, it had nothing to do with me - with the exception of my listening, and then later understanding. Many have called it depression, but I think it is more of a separation, from my loving the world more than my God. Just saying, not trying to preach.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti Thank you for having the courage to share this story. Life is a struggle. For many of us, life becomes a daily one after we depart active duty. Like you, when I departed active duty I felt lost, in most ways I still do. I look backwards and am convinced that the majority of my life’s accomplishments happened while I served and now, I have little to look forward to.
I have attained two great jobs since I left active duty and retired. The first one was as a civilian Army CID Special Agent. I investigated sex crimes, crimes against children, and child death cases. I lasted sixteen months before I burned out and flamed out. Now I work for the US Department of Homeland Security in an innocuous position which I somewhat enjoy, but feel vastly under employed and at times as if my position does not matter.
My therapy is my dog, Zora. She has been a true gift. Zora is a very happy dog; she was a rescue from a Shelter near Fort Bragg, NC. In the end, she rescues me more often than I ever could her. The wag of her tail, the light in her eyes, and her jumping on me is stress reducing and she occupies a large place in my heart.
I still struggle, and believe I always will. Living to fight another day is still the goal. I wish I felt more appreciated for what I do and also had a sense of self-accomplishment in my career. I keep plugging away, being cautiously optimistic. My best friend for over a decade is a statistic of the 22 a day. He mixed alcoholic beverages and potent pain killers. He just couldn’t deal with his issues adjusting. We had just talked and he showed no signs at all.
So, to answer your question, have I found my new life’s mission? Yes and no. Yes, because taking care of my canine companion is very important. No, because from a career perspective what I have now is just a job, not a calling.
I have attained two great jobs since I left active duty and retired. The first one was as a civilian Army CID Special Agent. I investigated sex crimes, crimes against children, and child death cases. I lasted sixteen months before I burned out and flamed out. Now I work for the US Department of Homeland Security in an innocuous position which I somewhat enjoy, but feel vastly under employed and at times as if my position does not matter.
My therapy is my dog, Zora. She has been a true gift. Zora is a very happy dog; she was a rescue from a Shelter near Fort Bragg, NC. In the end, she rescues me more often than I ever could her. The wag of her tail, the light in her eyes, and her jumping on me is stress reducing and she occupies a large place in my heart.
I still struggle, and believe I always will. Living to fight another day is still the goal. I wish I felt more appreciated for what I do and also had a sense of self-accomplishment in my career. I keep plugging away, being cautiously optimistic. My best friend for over a decade is a statistic of the 22 a day. He mixed alcoholic beverages and potent pain killers. He just couldn’t deal with his issues adjusting. We had just talked and he showed no signs at all.
So, to answer your question, have I found my new life’s mission? Yes and no. Yes, because taking care of my canine companion is very important. No, because from a career perspective what I have now is just a job, not a calling.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS Thank you for sharing your story. I am glad you are still with us. You are right i still strugle in from day to day. This last week has been a ruff one for me thoughts always pop up but i am able to battle those thoughts and think in a safer way. It is amazing how a animal can be so much therapy. My dog Sarah is a godsend she will just come and cuddle when im having a bad day. I hope that you can find a job/career that you enjoy. Keep up the good fight.
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Some experts say that number may be as high as 27 a day. We need to be more involved with our folks in the service and after they leave. We cannot be afraid of this because these people want our help.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you For taking the time to read my post and reply. I know i try and call my firends that i know could be on edge every couple weeks if not sooner.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti, thanks for your transparency in this blog post - very much appreciated! I work for an organization that has had tremendous results addressing suicide. Project Sanctuary (http://www.projectsanctuary.us) offers therapeutic retreats for the entire family. We've helped families just like yours address many of the concerns you mention. Let me know if I can be of service in any other way.
Home page for the Project Sanctuary website
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you LTC Jason Strickland I will put this out in my circle. Just looked over the page looks like a great program sir. I wish i would of known of programs like this back in 2012 it would of helped out tremendously.
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Five Finger Death Punch - Wrong Side Of Heaven
Get Five Finger Death Punch’s latest album “Got Your Six”!!! iTunes = http://smarturl.it/FFDP6_DLX Google = http://smarturl.it/FFDP6_GoogleDLX Amazon = http:...
This music group has gone a long way to help with Veteran donations and awareness regarding aspects of homelessness to PTSD. There are agencies listed at the end of this video to contact for help. This song means a lot to me as well as the band. More influential people need to help bring the 22 a day number down to 0. http://youtu.be/o_l4Ab5FRwM
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
SPC (Join to see) This is a great song that is great you were voting to get it to the top. It puts it out there more. My plan is to help veterans once i am done with my apprenticeship i will be taking on helpers that are for disabled veterans suffering with the invisible wounds. I am still trying to figure out where to start to be able to get those.
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SPC (Join to see)
The best place to start would be structuring your plan of what you look to accomplish and what exactly you are targeting. Is it going to be a hotline to call or an actual group someone can come to and talk? Etc. The more you can design it before you do it, the better you can figure out where to begin and grow it bit by bit. I hope this makes sense, my mind is racing right now.
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
SPC (Join to see) I am a farrier apprentice right now so this would not be a group therapy situation. I would take on one person for a certain about of time. But yes that might have been when i did try to strat a group therapy group it failed. Thank you for your input.
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WOW, thanks for sharing your story Corey. Took a lot of courage to share your experience, thank you! I have lost 2 very good friends to suicide and looking back, I wish I would have been more in tune with their needs, and seen the signs.
Looks like you have found your new "mission", at least on RallyPoint and in your day to day contacts.
Stay strong and encouraged!
Looks like you have found your new "mission", at least on RallyPoint and in your day to day contacts.
Stay strong and encouraged!
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
SSgt Todd Ricker Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I have found my new mission and thanks to Rally Point i have found a place where i can chat and give my frame of thought and be understood it is nice. Sorry about your loss too.
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Thank you for sharing your story. You touched on a subject that many do not or are afraid to talk about. I really commend you because it is not easy to tell your story. I believe we all deal with a dark side from time to time. But the difference is how one deals with it. I hope for the best for you in your new career. And if you ever need a ear we are here to listen. God bless you PO2 Corey Ferretti
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PO2 Corey Ferretti
Thank you MSgt (Join to see) i figured if i can be open about my story maybe one person will know they are not alone and that they are not weak. This new path i am on is great i just had a horse try and run through me today could of ended badly but it is so much better then where i was not to long ago.
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Mindset change from the top down. Make saving lives as much a focus as taking them. We spend HOURS, DAYS, MONTHS, YEARS making sure that our troops are ready and able to kill if needed. We do not spend anywhere near the same amount of time trying to help these troops to turn the switch off, and try to become who they were before. We want them on "kill" mode all the time, and that pressure isn't needed all the time, everyday. We don't really "support" these troops like we should, we tell them the "right answers"...go to mental health, we have your back, this won't hurt your career, but once you do, it does have an immediate effect on your mind, and on your career. We can help those still serving by giving them our full support as leaders. Reinforce that we're here in this together, and we'll go the extra mile to help. For those who are out, the same applies. It's up to each of us looking out for each other, listening intently, looking through the laughs for the "hidden" signs. And be there when they crash. We as leaders need to make sure that every troop knows they are not alone, and that no matter where they are, someone they can trust can get to them in a time of need. Too many feel alone or shut out and they shouldn't. Let these troops know that in their darkest moments, the time they feel most alone, call out for help and look above, the helps coming down to you.
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