66
66
0
We have all been there - the anger, the hate, sorrow and depression, the frustration towards others who do not understand us, but is that fair? Who are we making responsible for our condition? Have we been left to deal with this condition ourselves, as many say? I think so, but I also think that it is often too easy to use this condition as an identifier as to what we are, not who we are.
I have been rated at 70% for PTSD as a combat vet. The following is how I see the way forward for me and I hope it will help some of you. Some of you may hate me for saying some of it, and I understand where you are coming from because I have been there too.
After a few suicide attempts (which were actually attention getting acts), I quickly realized that I am only hurting my possible future and myself if I keep wallowing in self-sorrow and hurt. I stopped looking at the photos of the past and identifying myself as a combat vet instead of Steven. I stopped hanging out only with vets who “understand me” because that was blocking my forward motion. I stopped walking around with a chip on my shoulder. But most importantly of all, I stopped blaming other people, the Army, and anything else for what I am because I knew I needed to work on who I am in order to get ahead, and that became my focus.
Don’t get me wrong, I have days where I could explode and sometimes do. I have days where getting out of bed to go to work is so painful and so pointless that I could easily just roll over and say, “screw it” but I don’t. I know that, if I did, it would be just the beginning of a long downhill spiral effect that would drive me back to where I came from. It would make it next to impossible to be productive for my family and my job, but most of all it would ruin my life. So in the end I have the choice.
I am not a doctor or a psychologist, I am only speaking my opinion but my advice to anyone fighting PTSD is the following: Never feel sorry for yourself. Anger towards others is a waste of time and energy. Looking back at what was, speaking about it every day, wearing the combat vet t-shirts - the constant reminder of “how good it was” - may make you feel better, but it makes your life a constant struggle.
Yes, civilians will never understand, but can you change that? No, so move on. You feel you got screwed over in the Army for this and that, but can you change it? No, so move on. The VA is not accepting your rating, not paying you, not believing you or whatever else, can you change it? Yes you can, but not with hate, anger, screaming or yelling.
Our society believes we are a danger. Some of us like that title – heck, some of us need that title because the military was all we may have ever had as far as an identity. We were special and now we are civilians and no one understands us, they just don’t know. That’s just it though, they don’t know, so either educate them in a meaningful manner or don’t hold it against them and move on. We won’t change anything by being angry and hurting ourselves, so let’s go and get our lives back!
As I was writing this article I actually got a call from my CEO stating that my obvious PTSD is a problem and they need to let me go. It goes without saying this shocked me, but did not surprise me. I am, therefore, positive this is simply a door that needed to close and I am looking with excitement into the future.
We dictate our own realities - no one else can or will really help us, only we can. So make the conscious decision and stand up, be that soldier, warrior and fighter you are and go for the gold. Don’t take no for an answer, accept nothing less from yourself than you expect from others. We can and will be successful, we will prevail, and not because of the stigma but despite the stigma!
Make your plan for life and follow it, set targets, goals, and benchmarks. It is time to stand up and take your life back. Don’t know where to start? Start within yourself and get the anger out. You’re not alone but remember, just complaining to another vet who tells his stories back to you is not going to help you no matter what all these “help sessions” may proclaim. If you feel it helps, then take a deep look at what exactly is being helped. It is probably the short-term frustration - you get to shout and get it out but that solves nothing. It is like getting revenge - it may make you feel better for a short time, but we all know it is wrong and you usually feel remorse afterwards.
So now how do you move forward? You want to yell at me? Write it down. You want to insult me? Go for it. Just know that I am here for you no matter what. If you truly wish to learn more about how to live with PTSD and function in society, I may be able to help. Your hate will only destroy you, not me or anyone else, so please refrain from the emotional explosions that I know all too well. I am writing this as an offer of help, in whatever way it may help, that’s it.
What are the biggest struggles you’ve faced while dealing with PTSD?
I have been rated at 70% for PTSD as a combat vet. The following is how I see the way forward for me and I hope it will help some of you. Some of you may hate me for saying some of it, and I understand where you are coming from because I have been there too.
After a few suicide attempts (which were actually attention getting acts), I quickly realized that I am only hurting my possible future and myself if I keep wallowing in self-sorrow and hurt. I stopped looking at the photos of the past and identifying myself as a combat vet instead of Steven. I stopped hanging out only with vets who “understand me” because that was blocking my forward motion. I stopped walking around with a chip on my shoulder. But most importantly of all, I stopped blaming other people, the Army, and anything else for what I am because I knew I needed to work on who I am in order to get ahead, and that became my focus.
Don’t get me wrong, I have days where I could explode and sometimes do. I have days where getting out of bed to go to work is so painful and so pointless that I could easily just roll over and say, “screw it” but I don’t. I know that, if I did, it would be just the beginning of a long downhill spiral effect that would drive me back to where I came from. It would make it next to impossible to be productive for my family and my job, but most of all it would ruin my life. So in the end I have the choice.
I am not a doctor or a psychologist, I am only speaking my opinion but my advice to anyone fighting PTSD is the following: Never feel sorry for yourself. Anger towards others is a waste of time and energy. Looking back at what was, speaking about it every day, wearing the combat vet t-shirts - the constant reminder of “how good it was” - may make you feel better, but it makes your life a constant struggle.
Yes, civilians will never understand, but can you change that? No, so move on. You feel you got screwed over in the Army for this and that, but can you change it? No, so move on. The VA is not accepting your rating, not paying you, not believing you or whatever else, can you change it? Yes you can, but not with hate, anger, screaming or yelling.
Our society believes we are a danger. Some of us like that title – heck, some of us need that title because the military was all we may have ever had as far as an identity. We were special and now we are civilians and no one understands us, they just don’t know. That’s just it though, they don’t know, so either educate them in a meaningful manner or don’t hold it against them and move on. We won’t change anything by being angry and hurting ourselves, so let’s go and get our lives back!
As I was writing this article I actually got a call from my CEO stating that my obvious PTSD is a problem and they need to let me go. It goes without saying this shocked me, but did not surprise me. I am, therefore, positive this is simply a door that needed to close and I am looking with excitement into the future.
We dictate our own realities - no one else can or will really help us, only we can. So make the conscious decision and stand up, be that soldier, warrior and fighter you are and go for the gold. Don’t take no for an answer, accept nothing less from yourself than you expect from others. We can and will be successful, we will prevail, and not because of the stigma but despite the stigma!
Make your plan for life and follow it, set targets, goals, and benchmarks. It is time to stand up and take your life back. Don’t know where to start? Start within yourself and get the anger out. You’re not alone but remember, just complaining to another vet who tells his stories back to you is not going to help you no matter what all these “help sessions” may proclaim. If you feel it helps, then take a deep look at what exactly is being helped. It is probably the short-term frustration - you get to shout and get it out but that solves nothing. It is like getting revenge - it may make you feel better for a short time, but we all know it is wrong and you usually feel remorse afterwards.
So now how do you move forward? You want to yell at me? Write it down. You want to insult me? Go for it. Just know that I am here for you no matter what. If you truly wish to learn more about how to live with PTSD and function in society, I may be able to help. Your hate will only destroy you, not me or anyone else, so please refrain from the emotional explosions that I know all too well. I am writing this as an offer of help, in whatever way it may help, that’s it.
What are the biggest struggles you’ve faced while dealing with PTSD?
PTSD
Suicide
PTS
Stress
Command Post
Posted >1 y ago
Responses: 76
2
2
0
In a lot of ways PTSD is both a condition and an identifier. I have lived with it for decades. I can really no longer function in crowded public areas like I used to. To the ones who do know suffer from any form of it and especially if they are civilians, it is pretty much an identifier. Those that have been in the Service recognize that it is more than an identifier. It is a condition that can often not be noticed unless you know what signs to look for. Before going in I really never understood when people talked about the 1000 yard stare. Now, I can very often spot another vet by that strange look or glint in their eyes. I have met some really fine people that way. It can be controlled if you have learned what your triggers are, and have help of family who, also, know the triggers and what signs to look for. I see a psych at the VA, but he is one of many that I have seen. Some good, some bad. After all they are just humans as well. Lol, I actually had one that told me to my face that what I needed was to go back to war any way I could. What he did not understand was that I am at war. Everyday I fight to control my emotions and reactions. I fight every minute with those dang annoying voices deep in my thought processes that urge me to just go ahead and end it all. When I first got out if I saw someone wearing islamic style clothing, I had to fight not to destroy them. That has finally found an end at least for now. I do not know if it is gone forever since I am not gifted with the ability to see the future. That is one that I do not want in the least. Brother and Sister Vets, just know that you have a choice. It is not an easy one to say the least, but you do have one. It is up to you as to whether you or the PTSD is in charge of your life.
(2)
(0)
2
2
0
I have been doing a lot of reading lately which states that scientists and researchers are discovering that most people who get PTSD are people whose memories work too well. In other words, most people who have a bad experience can put that experience behind them, push it to the back of their mind, and move on. They eventually stop being affected by it. But those of us who get PTSD, they say, are the ones who have difficulty forgetting what we should be forgetting, and remembering what we should be remembering. I'm not sure how true this is, and I would love to see some data as to which came first, the PTSD or the memory problem, but it is most certainly an interesting idea. Here is an article from Psychology Today about the subject:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/eyes-the-brain/201103/memory-the-amygdala-and-ptsd-0
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/eyes-the-brain/201103/memory-the-amygdala-and-ptsd-0
Memory, the Amygdala, and PTSD.
The fine line between remembering too much and too little.
(2)
(0)
PO2 Frances Smart
SPC Mayhew, you can remember an incident without remembering or internalizing the trauma.
(0)
(0)
PO2 Frances Smart
I do not advocate "forgetting" a trauma. What I actually do believe in is forgiving the person, if possible, who brought on the trauma. It helps the pain of it not to hurt as much, and removes the sting. What the article was saying is that people with PTSD have a much sharper memory in general than others do. What other people may be able to sweep under the rug, we keep reliving. I'm not sure to what extent I agree or disagree, but I do know that I have always had a sharper memory than most of my friends or family. Whether I have that kind of a memory because of early trauma, or whether I have PTSD because I have a sharp memory I am not sure, but this I know: I have PTSD. And I remember every bad thing that has ever happened to me, in living color. The techniques I described in my previous post have helped me calm down long enough to start going back through each and every memory of trauma in my head and begin healing them, one by one. And the only way I have found to truly heal them has been to forgive as many of those people as possible. It is working for me. But it hasn't been easy.
(1)
(0)
PO2 Frances Smart
I have had extensive medical evaluations. While I do have several auto-immune conditions, the cause of my PTSD is Military Sexual Trauma. All my symptoms, including the auto-immune ones, started with the first rape. Every last one of them. As I forgive, the symptoms have been getting better. Everyone has to do what works best for them. You asked what good it does to complain in your paragraph above. It is not complaining. It is finally being able to talk about it with people who understand. Every one of my civilian friends who knows about my condition thinks I am mentally ill.I refer to PTSD as a hormone imbalance. It is a mismanagement of adrenaline. Once I explain this to them, they begin to understand a little better, but still think I am a mental case. Veterans do not think this when you tell them you have PTSD, because they understand the problem better. I see what you call "complaining" as an attempt to reach out to people who understand.
(0)
(0)
2
2
0
Been there , got the shirt.
Well, If I didn't know better, it sounds you've got it figured out so your self healed, right?. Perhaps now you should be re-evaluated and the percentage dropped, so they can free some of that money to help people that have worse injuries like missing limbs, eyes, skin.
I say that because I'm at 50% PTSD. I didn't get any higher because I only tried to commit suicide once, and that wasn't enough for the criteria. I didn't claim that when I do try to commit suicide I want to take several people with me. I wasn't coached on what to say or how to react like I know some have during the interview stage of awards to add a little edge to it. I just answered the questions how I felt when I was asked.
For years, I'd get up to the bathroom, if I "accidently" turned left out of the bathroom, I was up, and I could sort of function during the day. But if I turned right, back to bed, no one saw me that day, and that could be days at a time.. In and out of panic attacks.
Three incidents come to mind. First one was the 10th day in country in Vietnam..
Second was when Hill 331 was hit.
Third was finding out a lifelong friend was just two hours away in country and being KIA just an hour before we were supposed to meet up.
This was all buried till 1991. Out on a partly foggy before daylight fishing opening day boating excursion with 3 of my children, a helicopter flies over the lake about 200 feet up. Wham! It woke up.. Big time ..There I was.. It wasn't pretty..
I saw some civilian counseling that suggested I go give VA a visit. I did, but couldn't stand there in line before the desk, among the people with missing limbs, eyes, skin, and other things. So I was able to burry it after a few months.. For a while anyway..
2001, with 9/11 it reared it's ugly head again, and a son deployed. This time with a separation and pending divorce, and some more information, I put in a claim. I had a 2 inch thick portfolio, pictures, statements, witnesses..
Was sent to one of their counselor who spent 5 minutes reading my claim after I went in the room, turned and said, where ya been? Prescribed some meds to get the edge off which helped, but I'm not one to like being dependent on a drug..
So out of that came 50%, 3 years after filing a claim and 3 weeks before the 29 year marriage divorce was finale. She got 50% of any and all current and future retirements, House, best vehicle. plus 50% of any and all earned income from employment until retirement starts. I got the unpaid bills..
Delima, I was still in the Reserves, and well I instantly became non deployable and discharged/retired and being in a dual status position, I'm loosing my "civilian" livelihood. Well a loop hole allowed me to retire also on regular, though greatly reduced, civil service retirement..
Ironically later on it was determined that one of my triggers was being exposed at the worksite to the very equipment that the incident (s) occurred around. So I all these years I was "re-infecting" myself every day going to work and not even knowing why the hair on the back of my neck tingled when I'd climb inside one of those machines.
Since then, Living 5 years single, with a friend who is 100%, I had to get out of there; and people thought I was weird..
I moved to Oregon to get a state away, all adult kids I'm in weekly contact with and I have several grandchildren to spoil.
I even met a wonderful woman and I recently remarried.
Oh yeah, still have issues, but she is an RN trauma nurse, and so far I haven't shone her anything that she can't handle. What a strong and sturdy woman. A good cook, And a redhead at that! She has 6 adult sons, three have been in the military and one is still an officer in the Air Force.
I check in with a VA counselor once every few months, IE: how's the meds doing, adjust if necessary, anything to talk about, any incidents, yada yada yada... It's working for me, but that's me.. Things are possible, except wife says I can't have my motorcycle back.. Now That sucks.. Maybe a trike?
Well, If I didn't know better, it sounds you've got it figured out so your self healed, right?. Perhaps now you should be re-evaluated and the percentage dropped, so they can free some of that money to help people that have worse injuries like missing limbs, eyes, skin.
I say that because I'm at 50% PTSD. I didn't get any higher because I only tried to commit suicide once, and that wasn't enough for the criteria. I didn't claim that when I do try to commit suicide I want to take several people with me. I wasn't coached on what to say or how to react like I know some have during the interview stage of awards to add a little edge to it. I just answered the questions how I felt when I was asked.
For years, I'd get up to the bathroom, if I "accidently" turned left out of the bathroom, I was up, and I could sort of function during the day. But if I turned right, back to bed, no one saw me that day, and that could be days at a time.. In and out of panic attacks.
Three incidents come to mind. First one was the 10th day in country in Vietnam..
Second was when Hill 331 was hit.
Third was finding out a lifelong friend was just two hours away in country and being KIA just an hour before we were supposed to meet up.
This was all buried till 1991. Out on a partly foggy before daylight fishing opening day boating excursion with 3 of my children, a helicopter flies over the lake about 200 feet up. Wham! It woke up.. Big time ..There I was.. It wasn't pretty..
I saw some civilian counseling that suggested I go give VA a visit. I did, but couldn't stand there in line before the desk, among the people with missing limbs, eyes, skin, and other things. So I was able to burry it after a few months.. For a while anyway..
2001, with 9/11 it reared it's ugly head again, and a son deployed. This time with a separation and pending divorce, and some more information, I put in a claim. I had a 2 inch thick portfolio, pictures, statements, witnesses..
Was sent to one of their counselor who spent 5 minutes reading my claim after I went in the room, turned and said, where ya been? Prescribed some meds to get the edge off which helped, but I'm not one to like being dependent on a drug..
So out of that came 50%, 3 years after filing a claim and 3 weeks before the 29 year marriage divorce was finale. She got 50% of any and all current and future retirements, House, best vehicle. plus 50% of any and all earned income from employment until retirement starts. I got the unpaid bills..
Delima, I was still in the Reserves, and well I instantly became non deployable and discharged/retired and being in a dual status position, I'm loosing my "civilian" livelihood. Well a loop hole allowed me to retire also on regular, though greatly reduced, civil service retirement..
Ironically later on it was determined that one of my triggers was being exposed at the worksite to the very equipment that the incident (s) occurred around. So I all these years I was "re-infecting" myself every day going to work and not even knowing why the hair on the back of my neck tingled when I'd climb inside one of those machines.
Since then, Living 5 years single, with a friend who is 100%, I had to get out of there; and people thought I was weird..
I moved to Oregon to get a state away, all adult kids I'm in weekly contact with and I have several grandchildren to spoil.
I even met a wonderful woman and I recently remarried.
Oh yeah, still have issues, but she is an RN trauma nurse, and so far I haven't shone her anything that she can't handle. What a strong and sturdy woman. A good cook, And a redhead at that! She has 6 adult sons, three have been in the military and one is still an officer in the Air Force.
I check in with a VA counselor once every few months, IE: how's the meds doing, adjust if necessary, anything to talk about, any incidents, yada yada yada... It's working for me, but that's me.. Things are possible, except wife says I can't have my motorcycle back.. Now That sucks.. Maybe a trike?
(2)
(0)
SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA
MSG William Wold - Thank you for your mail and the humor, at first I was taken aback until I saw the sarcasm, I started to get angry, so now; I do not have it all figured out but I do believe in dialog, sometimes we need to hear ourselves say or write something to feel better.
You seem to have found yourself a great woman there, congratulations...dont worry, I cant have a bike either!
Steady on, thank you for your service!
Steven
You seem to have found yourself a great woman there, congratulations...dont worry, I cant have a bike either!
Steady on, thank you for your service!
Steven
(1)
(0)
MSG William Wold
I worded the first sentence that way is because that is exactly what I've been told. Ah your getting better, so now we need to reduce your compensation,; when at the same time your trying to figure out how to up it.Since I am retired, and my ex spouse gets most of my retirements to the tune of over $22K a year, the VA compensation keeps the lights on.
When I appealed the claim, those were exactly what the denial letter stated. I had a marriage of 29 years, I had a job of 25 years, So obviously I got up at a regular basis and went to the same job. I didn't end up in the ER once a month from jumping out windows to avoid whatever was in my head that was after me. So I'm " not that bad".
I scratch my head at that. To me it's like being a little pregnant.. You are or your are not. Certainly maybe different degrees of pregnant, twins, or triplets maybe?
With a current wife dealing every day with people from all walks of life, understanding the dynamics of PTSD, is really assisted me un understanding and coping.
Remember, some how, this was all buried for 20+ years. One day, wham, there it is in your face bigger than life. And since then it's only been managed somewhat, and has not gone away since. No one including myself know how it was originally buried and why it sprang into real life when it did. Some never have the privilege of having their traumatic experience buried, it's right in front of them at day one and never goes away. Some never get lucky enough to get help, and life ends.
But studies find that PTSD is a cause of direct and focused trauma. Doesn't have to happen in direct combat, it can be a vehicle accident a very traumatic experience, watching someone die right n front of you seems to becoming the norm in the USA anymore.
I want to thank you for bringing this subject up. To Some it's too painful to talk about. Talking about it escalates it sometimes.
I've ridden a motorcycle off and on since I was 16. I always slept better that night. It was great therapy. I gave up my motorcycle (light comes on) early in 1991 because of the cost, and hounding from my inlaws about being selfish owning an expensive machine that only I could use, and with having 5 children and a stay home wife, I was it in terms of income. I sacrificed it for shoes and food on the table for my family, and peace in the family, which really didn't happen. At the same time shortly afterwards, as 1991 is when this all blew up in my face..
During my divorce and afterwards the friend I was living with had 4 Sportsters, and a Road King. He let me ride any of the Sportsters. Over the 5 years living there I put over 55K total over 3 different motorcycles of his. He was glad to have someone to ride with. I purchased one of his just before I decided to move out to Oregon. I had it when I met my now wife.
I guess I made the mistake of selling it when I needed some overdue hernia surgery a couple winters ago, so I would not incur a debt. Came time to buy another one and she says no.. Two of my children, and 3 of her son's currently ride, plus two other of her sons have had motorcycles. I've encouraged them to gently put some heat on her to relax the no part.. But so far it's still no.
I noticed her making comments when a trike goes by, on how that looks like fun.. Then I told her what one costs, and that was the end of it.
But hey, my friend I lost in Vietnam and I built a trike chopper in High School together, out of an old Harley Servicar metermaid. I built the springer front end in metal shop, he built the miniature oak flatbed on it from woodshop. We mounted a bucket seat in the bed for the passenger. It would only do 45mph, rattled and banged, but hey, we were kids and it was cool.. I could duplicate that with a more refined and dependable setup for around $8K right now and have fun doing it. But alas, I can still dream.. And dream I will. But in the men time I'm going fishing..
WW
When I appealed the claim, those were exactly what the denial letter stated. I had a marriage of 29 years, I had a job of 25 years, So obviously I got up at a regular basis and went to the same job. I didn't end up in the ER once a month from jumping out windows to avoid whatever was in my head that was after me. So I'm " not that bad".
I scratch my head at that. To me it's like being a little pregnant.. You are or your are not. Certainly maybe different degrees of pregnant, twins, or triplets maybe?
With a current wife dealing every day with people from all walks of life, understanding the dynamics of PTSD, is really assisted me un understanding and coping.
Remember, some how, this was all buried for 20+ years. One day, wham, there it is in your face bigger than life. And since then it's only been managed somewhat, and has not gone away since. No one including myself know how it was originally buried and why it sprang into real life when it did. Some never have the privilege of having their traumatic experience buried, it's right in front of them at day one and never goes away. Some never get lucky enough to get help, and life ends.
But studies find that PTSD is a cause of direct and focused trauma. Doesn't have to happen in direct combat, it can be a vehicle accident a very traumatic experience, watching someone die right n front of you seems to becoming the norm in the USA anymore.
I want to thank you for bringing this subject up. To Some it's too painful to talk about. Talking about it escalates it sometimes.
I've ridden a motorcycle off and on since I was 16. I always slept better that night. It was great therapy. I gave up my motorcycle (light comes on) early in 1991 because of the cost, and hounding from my inlaws about being selfish owning an expensive machine that only I could use, and with having 5 children and a stay home wife, I was it in terms of income. I sacrificed it for shoes and food on the table for my family, and peace in the family, which really didn't happen. At the same time shortly afterwards, as 1991 is when this all blew up in my face..
During my divorce and afterwards the friend I was living with had 4 Sportsters, and a Road King. He let me ride any of the Sportsters. Over the 5 years living there I put over 55K total over 3 different motorcycles of his. He was glad to have someone to ride with. I purchased one of his just before I decided to move out to Oregon. I had it when I met my now wife.
I guess I made the mistake of selling it when I needed some overdue hernia surgery a couple winters ago, so I would not incur a debt. Came time to buy another one and she says no.. Two of my children, and 3 of her son's currently ride, plus two other of her sons have had motorcycles. I've encouraged them to gently put some heat on her to relax the no part.. But so far it's still no.
I noticed her making comments when a trike goes by, on how that looks like fun.. Then I told her what one costs, and that was the end of it.
But hey, my friend I lost in Vietnam and I built a trike chopper in High School together, out of an old Harley Servicar metermaid. I built the springer front end in metal shop, he built the miniature oak flatbed on it from woodshop. We mounted a bucket seat in the bed for the passenger. It would only do 45mph, rattled and banged, but hey, we were kids and it was cool.. I could duplicate that with a more refined and dependable setup for around $8K right now and have fun doing it. But alas, I can still dream.. And dream I will. But in the men time I'm going fishing..
WW
(1)
(0)
SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA
Thank you for your mail, I can totally understand where you are coming from. Sorry to hear about your troubles, stay strong.
(1)
(0)
2
2
0
I Have been diathh PTSD as well. I have also found it very difficult to maintain jobs and have been called out for PTSD issues on the job and I have been fired as a result. I'm finding it harder and harder to find good jobs because since I've been out I have had over 15 jobs. I get so depressed at times because I can't function In society. I unfortunately have not had the aha moment like this writer. I know that when I don't work depression and anxiety are much worse for me. I am currently unemployed and although my VA disability check is helping I still feel that I need to work. I wish that it was easier to get counseling outside of the Va.
(2)
(0)
PV2 Violet Case
I dealt with the job issues too, but part of mine was physical from toxic poisons. I even got to the point where I began my own home based business. Crafting was not my college degree but a coping skill for me. So I tried as a business it went well for a few yrs then all of a sudden I could no longer teach classes for ceramics. I felt like a failure but then realized after being placed on VA disability I felt I should be working too. I did my best. After working on a website for over 6 yrs designing it and making things I almost gave it up too. But I am still making things by hand to cope and just keep putting them on my website. It makes me feel like I am doing something. One day I may have enough on it to open it and sell again and not have to deal with people face to face. But it gives me hope and no matter how long I will keep working making things it gives me a bit of satisfaction when I have taken almost nothing and put it together to make something. Grandma said someone elses junk may be someone elses treasure. I no it is not bringing in money now but maybe one day it will. Never give up on yourself and find a coping skill and try to bring it forward to help your self-asteem. Blessing to you and thank you for your serivice.
(3)
(0)
CPL Morgan Northrup
I will look into that. I tired the V.A vocational rehabilitation and it was a joke. I felt that they really didn't want to help at all.
(1)
(0)
SSG Dwight Amey MSA, MSL, BS, AS
CPL Morgan Northrup, thanks for your service brother. One thing you can do to at least get some function is to possibly see about the volunteer opportunities at your local church. Many family members are dealing with deployed spouses and a real need exists. Another thing you can do is volunteer at your VA hospital or clinic. The veterans that comes in these doors deserve to be treated with respect, and to feel they can share what is on their mind. I am only 30% PTSD and when I can spill my guts to someone without fear of condemnation I find it therapeutic. Just an idea of doing things in society they you can't be fired from.
(0)
(0)
2
2
0
Post Traumatic Stress is the result of being exposed to an event or series of events that are traumatic to those exposed. My experience with this comes from my time in Law Enforcement (MP and Civilian) and also from the experience of working as an EMT for a volunteer fire department. The traumatic experiences for me involved the death of children. I had a hard time accepting and it weighed on me heavily, especially when it was child know to me (a friend to my children). I suffer flashbacks, nightmares, and a myriad of emotions that go with it. The emotions and physical manifestations are similar among combat veterans, first responders, victims of sexual assault, etc.. it is a condition, but some use it as an identifier both from the perspective of those suffering who may need to know they have support, to those who see it as "dangerous" condition. It almost cost me my life (by my own hand), but fortunately I have found ways to manage it, and lead a productive life.
(2)
(0)
PV2 Violet Case
Written by: matt williams Copyright: BMI Nashville tn
SGT Charles Vernier please listen to this young mans song this young man lost a combat buddy to suicide and he wrote this song. I hope it may help you as it has me when I feel lost , lonely or depressed I hope you enjoy it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgIHW3HP7eI
(0)
(0)
2
2
0
Thanks for your attempt to help, but your article reads to cliche. It is full of the things that people who don't have to struggle with PTSD say..."Just move on.", "Get over it.", "Attention getting."
I was in the Marine Corps, never in the Army, so I don't know from where you speak, but my Marine Corps is very Tribal. We ARE Brothers to the end. The only two places I can find peace is with them or my kids.
For me Survivor Guilt is the worse.
Good luck Brother, and thanks again for trying.
Argo Kirk
I was in the Marine Corps, never in the Army, so I don't know from where you speak, but my Marine Corps is very Tribal. We ARE Brothers to the end. The only two places I can find peace is with them or my kids.
For me Survivor Guilt is the worse.
Good luck Brother, and thanks again for trying.
Argo Kirk
(2)
(0)
SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA
LCpl Kenneth Kirk Thank you for the honest reply, we are all among friends here so great to read truth! My point is not to cut ties with brothers, heck I was back in the States over the holidays and I spent more time with brothers than I did family. My point is not to dwell on this part of your life as the only thing you have, should you think that, it will stay like that.
If your PTSD is very bad it is difficult I know so it is not as easy as it sounds but remember: With time comes reason and wisdom. It took me 10 years to even speak openly about my time in Iraq and that was the beginning of dealing with it directly and refusing to use it as a crutch or as a "Look, this is who I am" because you are thereby perpetuating the condition. I may not be articulating it orrectly but with time you can start healing and with time, the discussions with your brothers will be about the present and future, not only the "good old days" although there is always time to reminisce, but not to the point of detriment.
Steady on and Semper Fidelis!
If your PTSD is very bad it is difficult I know so it is not as easy as it sounds but remember: With time comes reason and wisdom. It took me 10 years to even speak openly about my time in Iraq and that was the beginning of dealing with it directly and refusing to use it as a crutch or as a "Look, this is who I am" because you are thereby perpetuating the condition. I may not be articulating it orrectly but with time you can start healing and with time, the discussions with your brothers will be about the present and future, not only the "good old days" although there is always time to reminisce, but not to the point of detriment.
Steady on and Semper Fidelis!
(1)
(0)
SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA
LCpl Kenneth Kirk - I worked with a bunch of bad ass Marines in Berlin back in the day, great guys I would do anything for, sorry for the quality of the picture! (That is me in the Army Uniform)
(2)
(0)
1
1
0
SGT Steven Eugene Kuhn MBA: Thank you ever so kindly, Sergeant, for bringing up this very relevant subject.
PTSD does Not define me in any way; however, I especially have trouble with depression and anger.
HOW I PRAY for all of those service members who struggle with PTSD. (Active Duty, Veterans and Retirees)
-Most Sincerely, Margaret C. Higgins U.S. Army Retired: Coach/Photographer
P.S. Sergeant, this photograph is supposed to represent the blue, dark and gloomy way that I feel: when I am depressed.
PTSD does Not define me in any way; however, I especially have trouble with depression and anger.
HOW I PRAY for all of those service members who struggle with PTSD. (Active Duty, Veterans and Retirees)
-Most Sincerely, Margaret C. Higgins U.S. Army Retired: Coach/Photographer
P.S. Sergeant, this photograph is supposed to represent the blue, dark and gloomy way that I feel: when I am depressed.
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
Originally I was diagnosed by a a civilian hospital, before the VA or Army Compensated for it. I lost my job as a Police Officer because of it. At that time it was still special, at some point The VA was looking to reduce it's caseload and was awarding it to anyone who was in combat and many who were not. The rating dogged my employment for decades until I was finally retired from my employment (at the VA) because of it.
I know it effects my daily struggle and have learned to live with that. My complaint would be that there is a lot of anxiety diagnosed as PTSD that isn't It clogs up the treatment and leaves soldiers like me untreated
I know it effects my daily struggle and have learned to live with that. My complaint would be that there is a lot of anxiety diagnosed as PTSD that isn't It clogs up the treatment and leaves soldiers like me untreated
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
Some use it as an excuse to be qholes, which in turn denies those suffering the need3d treatment. I know od soldiers who were nothing but bin bunnies, they wsre on final approach th K-Har, never exp a mortar or rocket attack and took the free ride back under meds. Makes me sick
(1)
(0)
1
1
0
Read This Next
Continue with Facebook 
Continue with Google