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Your buddy calls you late at night and tells you about all of the negativity going on in their life. As you listen to them describe his emotional distress, you pick up on some clues that lead you to think that this is a crisis situation. You also remember that they are a firearm owner. You want to ask about their guns because you know it’s not a safe situation under the circumstances, but you’re concerned that they will either hang up on you or, worse, that you’ll put an idea in his mind. What do you do?
People in distress can go from 0 to 60 very fast. Somewhere between 25% and 40% of individuals who attempt suicide make the final decision to act within 5 minutes of the suicide attempt. Nearly 70% make the final decision to act within the hour before their attempt. Easy access to potentially lethal methods for suicide—especially firearms—during periods of intense emotional distress increases the likelihood of bad outcomes such as suicide.
Temporarily limiting someone’s access to firearms and other possible methods for suicide during these periods can reduce the likelihood of a bad outcome, however, it’s similar to how we try to prevent our friends from getting in a car crash when they’ve been drinking. We know that the risk of a car crash increases when someone has been drinking. Because of this, we temporarily restrict access to driving—typically by taking away someone’s keys—when they’ve been drinking. When the person sobers up, we give them their keys back; we don’t prohibit them from driving ever again.
We can prevent suicides using the same mindset. When someone is under a lot of stress, having easy access to a firearm or other methods for suicide can be dangerous. During these times, we can offer to temporarily store a friend’s firearms, medications, or other possible suicide methods until things get better, just like we hold on to their keys when they’ve been drinking.
Here’s an example of how you can raise the issue:
It sounds like things haven’t been going well for you lately. I’m worried about you. Would you be willing to let me hang on to your guns/medications for a while until things get better?
If they don’t feel comfortable with this, consider asking them if they’d be willing to change how they store their firearms or medications instead:
What are your thoughts about storing your guns/medications in a safe or locking them up in another way?
Talking with a friend about locking up or temporarily limiting their access to a firearm or another possible method for suicide can be a difficult topic to discuss, but it can be a simple and effective strategy for helping them get through tough times.
[Video: https://vimeo.com/175761640]
*To learn more about the National Center of Veterans Studies programs visit: https://rly.pt/NCVS
People in distress can go from 0 to 60 very fast. Somewhere between 25% and 40% of individuals who attempt suicide make the final decision to act within 5 minutes of the suicide attempt. Nearly 70% make the final decision to act within the hour before their attempt. Easy access to potentially lethal methods for suicide—especially firearms—during periods of intense emotional distress increases the likelihood of bad outcomes such as suicide.
Temporarily limiting someone’s access to firearms and other possible methods for suicide during these periods can reduce the likelihood of a bad outcome, however, it’s similar to how we try to prevent our friends from getting in a car crash when they’ve been drinking. We know that the risk of a car crash increases when someone has been drinking. Because of this, we temporarily restrict access to driving—typically by taking away someone’s keys—when they’ve been drinking. When the person sobers up, we give them their keys back; we don’t prohibit them from driving ever again.
We can prevent suicides using the same mindset. When someone is under a lot of stress, having easy access to a firearm or other methods for suicide can be dangerous. During these times, we can offer to temporarily store a friend’s firearms, medications, or other possible suicide methods until things get better, just like we hold on to their keys when they’ve been drinking.
Here’s an example of how you can raise the issue:
It sounds like things haven’t been going well for you lately. I’m worried about you. Would you be willing to let me hang on to your guns/medications for a while until things get better?
If they don’t feel comfortable with this, consider asking them if they’d be willing to change how they store their firearms or medications instead:
What are your thoughts about storing your guns/medications in a safe or locking them up in another way?
Talking with a friend about locking up or temporarily limiting their access to a firearm or another possible method for suicide can be a difficult topic to discuss, but it can be a simple and effective strategy for helping them get through tough times.
[Video: https://vimeo.com/175761640]
*To learn more about the National Center of Veterans Studies programs visit: https://rly.pt/NCVS
University of Utah
Safety
Stress
PTSD
Edited 6 y ago
Posted 6 y ago
Responses: 38
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I have taken this phone call twice.
Both times, I stopped what I was doing and found them - one of them halfway across from Wisconsin from me.
The best defense against suicide when you get the call is to care. Not like say you do, ACTUALLY CARE. They will know if you are feigning interest. Honestly, if they're calling you, it is because you are someone they want to talk to when stuff goes sideways. Rise to the occasion.
Bring in support from trained people as the situation allows, but chances are you are the make or break point.
Both times, I stopped what I was doing and found them - one of them halfway across from Wisconsin from me.
The best defense against suicide when you get the call is to care. Not like say you do, ACTUALLY CARE. They will know if you are feigning interest. Honestly, if they're calling you, it is because you are someone they want to talk to when stuff goes sideways. Rise to the occasion.
Bring in support from trained people as the situation allows, but chances are you are the make or break point.
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MAJ (Join to see)
1SG (Join to see) - Haven't in several years, but last I heard, he'd married and moved forward with his life.
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Maggie Tamulis
As the mother of a disabled Gulf War 1991 Army veteran it breaks my heart to hear of a veteran who commits suicide...I know that caring is the most important element in helping someone in real "pain" and you sir are someone that is a true friend and a savior to those who have needed you.
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I went thru something like this during basic, talked a fellow recruit out of doing something stupid, we didn't know that another of the group would be the one that did it instead.
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SPC Nancy Greene
Unfortuniately Cowboy, No One is able to Know Who is Actually Contempating Suicide. When THAT thought enters someone's mind,; only God has control of the situation. IMHO
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SPC Nancy Greene
TSgt AnnaBelle Bryan - Great topic AnnaBellle. Extremely difficult to provide intervention when No One Knows Who Needs the intervention...
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There are thousands of ways to commit suicide. Taking or having the law take his firearm will only make him angrier. My best friend committed suicide. I blamed myself for not seeing it coming. I was hurt at first and later became angry at him for doing this. He had a series of bad events that happened within 24 hours back in 1991. We had both retired at the same time and were promised jobs that no longer existed. We couldn't find a steady job anywhere in Fayetteville. He lost his part time job, his wife left him that afternoon and got a DUI later that evening. He shot himself with his M1A Match Rifle in his garage and bleed to death. Some things you can't predict. I consider suicide an act of getting back at people that love you. It is the ultimate act of hurting the one you love. There are many reasons that people do it and I knew two people that did it to get back at their family. I hope that God has mercy on Dave Zavittz and Tommy Harrington that shot himself in 2010 to get back at his wife and girls. Tommy had planned to kill himself when his wife and girls came home from school. He was already separated and just decided to do it. I don't believe taking guns away will prevent suicide. Once it happens they will not get them back and will use another method. Opinions vary......
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SPC Nancy Greene
As a Survivor, I agree with You MSG on some points. You Cannot place Blame upon Yourself. You could Not predict the actions of these men. 'Getting Back' at someone is Extremely Powerful motive, and unpredictable. I swallowed pills to escape 'hen cackling' and presumptions regarding my numerous male friends. 'Jealousy" on the part of female soldiers in my unit. They did Not Know Me; however, their Constant ridicule of me behind my back loudly enough for me to hear, ultimately lead to my actions. I was trying to 'drown' out the unnecessary noise. That was My motivation. No One Knew What I Was thinking, not even Me.
I am deeply sorry for your loss...Fayetteville is a TERRIBLE place ! Being Angry or Feeling Lonely THERE is an 'Accident Waiting to Happen'.
I live about 50 miles from there, and Having to go there, causes Me Extreme Distress. Am overcoming Negative feelings created by Womack Army Hospital. Awesome Dentist in Fayettevile is an Asset in attempting to repair damage caused by Womack!
I am deeply sorry for your loss...Fayetteville is a TERRIBLE place ! Being Angry or Feeling Lonely THERE is an 'Accident Waiting to Happen'.
I live about 50 miles from there, and Having to go there, causes Me Extreme Distress. Am overcoming Negative feelings created by Womack Army Hospital. Awesome Dentist in Fayettevile is an Asset in attempting to repair damage caused by Womack!
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SPC Cherry Allen
RIP to your friend and you are not to blame. When someone wants to kill themselves they will. Only God can prevent. You are brave for sharing such a amazing experience
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SPC Cherry Allen
SPC Nancy Greene Nancy you are a champion of defeat. Most of us are. Thank you for sharing
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I have gone through this with my best friend, I have also referred to him as my little brother from a different family. It was always a matter to get with him and not make it only a phone call. Easier said than done in other situations for other people. Whether he came to me or I went to him it was to make sure he wasn't alone.
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SPC Nancy Greene
Outstanding Sgt John Steinmeiir!
Sometimes we just Need someone to talk to who we Know really Cares about Us!
That Feeling is Extremely Powerful! IMHO
Sometimes we just Need someone to talk to who we Know really Cares about Us!
That Feeling is Extremely Powerful! IMHO
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Why did the issue of firearms enter into this buddy issue? Access to anything that can be used to harm themselves is the issue. I have lost 3 good friends to suicide. None used a gun. Drug overdose
(more accessible and easily acquired) and drunk driving into a concrete wall at 100 + mph. Try focusing on issues and not the tools for harming oneself. I am so tiered of people like you chasing guns as the cause and the ignoring all other more likely safety concerns.
Viet Nam veterans suicide rates began the, now well over 100,000, cause for awareness nationally. Once this study began, by accident, did the nation become aware of the suicide rates among teens and the elderly. It was the V.N. veteran population that made the medical community aware of something called PTSD. Before (us) the medical community called it a "syndrome" and not treatable. Only when veterans went to war with this popular concept did we change how we treat all population groups prone to suicide or suffer from PTSD. V.N. veterans are the primary reason the V.A. has now opened its doors and expanded the care given todays veterans. Plus, making your studies possible.
I don't know how old you are but your education background is short of being noteworthy.
(more accessible and easily acquired) and drunk driving into a concrete wall at 100 + mph. Try focusing on issues and not the tools for harming oneself. I am so tiered of people like you chasing guns as the cause and the ignoring all other more likely safety concerns.
Viet Nam veterans suicide rates began the, now well over 100,000, cause for awareness nationally. Once this study began, by accident, did the nation become aware of the suicide rates among teens and the elderly. It was the V.N. veteran population that made the medical community aware of something called PTSD. Before (us) the medical community called it a "syndrome" and not treatable. Only when veterans went to war with this popular concept did we change how we treat all population groups prone to suicide or suffer from PTSD. V.N. veterans are the primary reason the V.A. has now opened its doors and expanded the care given todays veterans. Plus, making your studies possible.
I don't know how old you are but your education background is short of being noteworthy.
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SPC Nancy Greene
In WWI & WWII & Korea, it was referred to as 'Shell Shock". No one from these wars 'talked' about the causes.
During Vietnam, Everything Changed! The Enemy did Not wear Distinctive Uniforms, the Government was using chemicals and warfare tactics Never used before! Add to this, these Men did NOT receive a "HEROES" welcome when They arrived Home. Our Awareness Today is based Upon TOO Many Lost Lives well before Today! IMHO
During Vietnam, Everything Changed! The Enemy did Not wear Distinctive Uniforms, the Government was using chemicals and warfare tactics Never used before! Add to this, these Men did NOT receive a "HEROES" welcome when They arrived Home. Our Awareness Today is based Upon TOO Many Lost Lives well before Today! IMHO
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SPC Nancy Greene
LTC Lee Bouchard - I followed your reasoning Sir! I interjected My story and opinions to point out guns are not the focal point, lost live are.
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MAJ Byron Oyler
Good afternoon Sir. I have had many conversations with patients dealing with behavioral health and I worry that if the patient believes from the beginning of the conversation we are going to take something away, there is less chance they will have that conversation in the first place. So many in our population today think firearms are evil and that is the first place they start thinking about removing however when I have worked behavioral health, the first place I start is with listening to the patient and obtaining their trust. Then I explore my options professionally or personally and jumping to take things away in their lives is not the first place I would start. With friends, it is distraction, whether they are suicidal or just had a surgery and the pain meds are not working What makes you comfortable to not kill yourself is where I focus, not what can I take away from you.
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SPC Richard Zacke
MAJ Byron Oyler WOW! You are either very wise or your in the psychiatric field. We are going through a situation with our granddaughter she has started to cut herself. Everyone wants to help and I told them NO she needs a professional we could do or say something that makes it much worse.
But I agree with the Major about guns. Some poeple think these new laws like the Red Flag law is the anwser to their peoblem but that just may lead to a whole host of new problems. People have been commiting suicide way before guns were invented so lets not blame the guns. And if his guns are removed because of the Red Flag law the soldier is guilty first and must prove to the courts that he is stable which takes at least 9 months just to get on the docket and that's if he has the $10,000 to retain an attorney. Plus he may just get so mad that he buys an illigal gun on the streets and become both suicidal and homicidal. Every action has an equal and oppisite reaction. PLEASE be careful what you say or due if your not trained to deal with this situation.
But I agree with the Major about guns. Some poeple think these new laws like the Red Flag law is the anwser to their peoblem but that just may lead to a whole host of new problems. People have been commiting suicide way before guns were invented so lets not blame the guns. And if his guns are removed because of the Red Flag law the soldier is guilty first and must prove to the courts that he is stable which takes at least 9 months just to get on the docket and that's if he has the $10,000 to retain an attorney. Plus he may just get so mad that he buys an illigal gun on the streets and become both suicidal and homicidal. Every action has an equal and oppisite reaction. PLEASE be careful what you say or due if your not trained to deal with this situation.
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If you want to take away my firearms, for any reason, we aren't friends anymore.
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SPC Richard Zacke
SPC Nancy Greene You could work in this field for another 50 years and still not know everything. As for SGT Kevin Hughes The lol at the end of your response bothers me, it may have just ben a customary thing you do all the time, but nothing said here is a laughing matter! And to LTC (Join to see) I could'nt agree with you more and I can still hear Chareston Heston saying "from my cold dead hands"! Good luck everybody and may God bless all the soldiers and veterans going through a very tuff time.
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SGT Kevin Hughes
SPC Richard Zacke - Interesting. Sometimes, in threads like these, comments can be taken out of context. My "lol" was intentional...not in response the the theme of the thread, but to SPC Nancy Greene's comment about how difficult it is to attempt to understand human behavior - even after fifty years.
No one, at least no one I know of, truly understands the thoughts or motivations of another person- even ones they love.
Had I been talking directly to Nancy when she made her comment, I would have smiledand given a gentle laugh at the accuracy of her statement. Never would I laugh at Suicide. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Maybe even Pity...but laugh? I think not.
No one, at least no one I know of, truly understands the thoughts or motivations of another person- even ones they love.
Had I been talking directly to Nancy when she made her comment, I would have smiledand given a gentle laugh at the accuracy of her statement. Never would I laugh at Suicide. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Maybe even Pity...but laugh? I think not.
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SPC Richard Zacke
SGT Kevin Hughes I've been following this thread and it did not seem like something you would have said purposly so please accept my appology and I will for now on remember your good demeander. God bless ya.
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SGT Kevin Hughes
SPC Richard Zacke - No need to apologize. I have read all your comments and it is clear you have a good mind and a great heart. My suspicion is that this thread is close to you in a personal way too. Either for someone you loved, or for someone you know. The comment you made to Major Kim was so spot on.
I can't imagine having taken hundreds of these calls. I only have a limited experience with it...and that was enough for me. I am glad you are on RP, and your comments are honest and heartfelt...and that is no little thing.
I can't imagine having taken hundreds of these calls. I only have a limited experience with it...and that was enough for me. I am glad you are on RP, and your comments are honest and heartfelt...and that is no little thing.
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I just went thru the US Army ACE-SI training that encompassed this very type of scenario
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MSG (Join to see)
MAJ Ken Landgren - The COA was basically getting them talking and getting them to agree to a plan of action that will keep them safe at the moment until professional assistance can be received. There was no real cookie cutter COA, but just throwing safe ideas out there that they would be willing to agree to follow. But basically, the options used were: Handing over the dangerous items to friends, to police, to relatives. Whomever it is they are most comfortable with.
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SPC Nancy Greene
Good to Know Army is Addressing these issues Now! Definitely 'swept them under the rug' when I was on Active Duty!
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SPC Nancy Greene
MSG (Join to see) - Definitely Agree with 'Safety Plans'!
One of First Things I did with My Psychiatrist in 2005, My Therapist in 2008, and we all update and discuss this on a regular basis. Better to be prepared, than not discuss possibilities. (this actually reduces and prevents ideations for me! Has been Working for Me for 15 years. Everyone is Unique!)
One of First Things I did with My Psychiatrist in 2005, My Therapist in 2008, and we all update and discuss this on a regular basis. Better to be prepared, than not discuss possibilities. (this actually reduces and prevents ideations for me! Has been Working for Me for 15 years. Everyone is Unique!)
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SSgt Wallace Smith
SPC Nancy Greene - it couldn’t be mentioned in my career field or you were done. SPK-9 Handler
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TSgt AnnaBelle Bryan I’ve taken 100s of these calls. First, I find out the location of my friend (the caller) Second, I use the person’s name. Third, I engage in conversation. Simple topics first and gather information as we talk. This buys enough time to get a welfare check done by a third party. Taking the guns away doesn’t solve the issue. I don’t own guns. I do have a plan, the opportunity and the experience.
To answer this specific situation, I would suggest meeting up to do anything. Bowling, wandering the aisles of a grocery store, looking at photos. (Especially family photos) I identify one thing that makes the person stop and remember why he/she lives. It may be a dog. It may be a child. It may be a promise to a buddy.
I acknowledge the person is a human being with feelings. This is key. We have to remind the caller/ buddy he/she is a human being and 1 person cares. Cares enough to stop what we are doing and go meet.
We start with 1.
If you need a 1, call me. [login to see] .
To answer this specific situation, I would suggest meeting up to do anything. Bowling, wandering the aisles of a grocery store, looking at photos. (Especially family photos) I identify one thing that makes the person stop and remember why he/she lives. It may be a dog. It may be a child. It may be a promise to a buddy.
I acknowledge the person is a human being with feelings. This is key. We have to remind the caller/ buddy he/she is a human being and 1 person cares. Cares enough to stop what we are doing and go meet.
We start with 1.
If you need a 1, call me. [login to see] .
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LTC Lee Bouchard
Good call kim. In more ways than one. I like your approach. From my own experience having someone to talk to is very important. Especially if the other person is also suffering. Being active and doing fun things does bring out the inter-person in time.
Vets with vets talking together and sharing like AA really helps. Putting your number out there might, I hope, bring a much needed response from someone in need.
Vets with vets talking together and sharing like AA really helps. Putting your number out there might, I hope, bring a much needed response from someone in need.
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MAJ Byron Oyler
Ma'am, having worked healthcare for so long and someone that enjoys shooting so much, I could not agree more with everything you stated. Reside near Wichita? I used to work burns at Via Christi and love the town.
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SPC Richard Zacke
Maj Kim Patterson You are truly an angle put on this earth to help others and it is very obvious that you do. I don't want to sound too corny but you remind me of Mother Theresa in Calcutta. God bless you! LTC Lee Bouchard You too sound like a very caring person I wonder if there's any chance the two of you live close to one another? The help the two of you could due for our fellow vets would be incredible. God bless you. @MAJ(Verify to see) I think your previous post was spot on, I too think that misson and team is ingrained into us and this does have a hugh component in regardes to behavioral health. You three would make a great team. God bless you all.
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I have helped one SGT going through a bad time and he drank bleach and other poisons. He would only talk through the door to me, once the door was cracked I pre-arranged to have the MPs bust in and get him to treatment. It worked and he lived.
another situation, my driver during OIF and OEF attempted suicide by prescription pills, thank god he lived, I feel like I wasn't there for him.
guns are a concern, but after we got back a soldier I knew committed suicide by cop, and he didn't have a gun. He just wanted to see his children and his wife had moved on. A truly sad situation.
thanks to the VA I am able to see a counselor once a month to discuss PTSD (which I was not supposed to get). My wife doesn't want to hear "I stepped on a severed head during a recovery mission" so I have my God to talk to.
take guns out of the conversation because they intensify any conversation and situation.
I personally am holding onto hope to see my two beautiful granddaughters someday.......a reason to live. also, don't ask if you are suicidal, ask why you decided to not die or why you want to live today. It's always one day at a time.
and of course get them to a trained professional...
I hope I'm not too off base here. I really hope this info might help someone.
another situation, my driver during OIF and OEF attempted suicide by prescription pills, thank god he lived, I feel like I wasn't there for him.
guns are a concern, but after we got back a soldier I knew committed suicide by cop, and he didn't have a gun. He just wanted to see his children and his wife had moved on. A truly sad situation.
thanks to the VA I am able to see a counselor once a month to discuss PTSD (which I was not supposed to get). My wife doesn't want to hear "I stepped on a severed head during a recovery mission" so I have my God to talk to.
take guns out of the conversation because they intensify any conversation and situation.
I personally am holding onto hope to see my two beautiful granddaughters someday.......a reason to live. also, don't ask if you are suicidal, ask why you decided to not die or why you want to live today. It's always one day at a time.
and of course get them to a trained professional...
I hope I'm not too off base here. I really hope this info might help someone.
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As a three time attempted suicide survivor and retired (sober for 30 years) therapist; this approach would not have been effective in my situations. I made split-second decisions before swallowing a full bottle of my prescription medication.
I did a Lot of "Crisis Intervention" in my career and now in life. Picking up on key words and tone of voice is imperative in these cases. I have found talking and listening is extremely effective in suicide prevention.. I have 'kept' people engaged in telephone conversation with me while I notified Law Enforcement and they conducted a "Health & Welfare" check on the person.
I think it is imperative to keep a person engaged in conversation, as this seems to de-escalate sucidial ideations.
In My case, I made a sudden, rash decision quietly and independently. My friends noticed slurred speech and took me to the Hospital.
My CO arrived ( very angry), made sure I was okay (?) and the next day issued Me an ARTICLE 15 for "attempted destruction of Military Property". That was in 1984! NO MH services, just Military reprimand!
Good to Know NOW MH issues are handled extremely differently!
I was a "Crisis On-Call" employee for MH in Onslow County NC and responsible for identification, intervention, assessment, and referral. I am trained in Substance Abuse intervention, assessment, diagnosis, and treatment referral.
Through my experiences, I have discovered people who discuss ways of taking their life are Actually asking for help. Taking Away someone's weapon (and sense of security) could be detrimental.
I was injured in Basic Training and 'Lived On' pain pills! If Anyone Even Suggested I relinquish My medications, I would have Totally and Permanently eliminated THAT person from My life.
I believe Each situation is Unique and requires Individualized Intervention Techniques.
I am NOT an Expert! However, I am a trained professional and My experiences are unique to my career. Don't know if any of this assists you in answering your question. If you would like to discuss this further, please feel free to 'connect' with me. Nancy
I did a Lot of "Crisis Intervention" in my career and now in life. Picking up on key words and tone of voice is imperative in these cases. I have found talking and listening is extremely effective in suicide prevention.. I have 'kept' people engaged in telephone conversation with me while I notified Law Enforcement and they conducted a "Health & Welfare" check on the person.
I think it is imperative to keep a person engaged in conversation, as this seems to de-escalate sucidial ideations.
In My case, I made a sudden, rash decision quietly and independently. My friends noticed slurred speech and took me to the Hospital.
My CO arrived ( very angry), made sure I was okay (?) and the next day issued Me an ARTICLE 15 for "attempted destruction of Military Property". That was in 1984! NO MH services, just Military reprimand!
Good to Know NOW MH issues are handled extremely differently!
I was a "Crisis On-Call" employee for MH in Onslow County NC and responsible for identification, intervention, assessment, and referral. I am trained in Substance Abuse intervention, assessment, diagnosis, and treatment referral.
Through my experiences, I have discovered people who discuss ways of taking their life are Actually asking for help. Taking Away someone's weapon (and sense of security) could be detrimental.
I was injured in Basic Training and 'Lived On' pain pills! If Anyone Even Suggested I relinquish My medications, I would have Totally and Permanently eliminated THAT person from My life.
I believe Each situation is Unique and requires Individualized Intervention Techniques.
I am NOT an Expert! However, I am a trained professional and My experiences are unique to my career. Don't know if any of this assists you in answering your question. If you would like to discuss this further, please feel free to 'connect' with me. Nancy
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1SG (Join to see)
When I was thinking about it, was not spur of the moment. I thought very carefully about how things I was responsible for would be handled. I thought carefully about what I wanted each of my children to know from their daddy before he was gone, and recorded messages for them. I thought about what to tell my (now ex) wife - about what she was accountable for and what she wasn't. I thought about what I would say at closing formation the last time.
I had it all figured out.
I don't have a good explanation for why it didn't go that way. What changed my mind was my little boy, two years old, needing me for a little while longer. He wanted to play. He was hungry. He wanted to chatter about whatever two year-olds think about.
I wasn't "better" but I wasn't on the brink anymore.
Low spots happened before then and after, but that was the bottom of the hole.
When others called me for counsel or were in crisis, they had me in better times, full of confidence that I had all of the answers (well, usually). Little did I know that as I was literally helping my CO navigate his marital problems, my own was falling apart in secret.
Life has a funny way of kicking you in the balls, then working out somehow.
I'm glad you are still here, Nancy.
Your CO was a moron. You didn't even tell your backstory and I'll bet $100 I know what it is. No need to post it.
Caring isn't that hard to do. It is just more work than some want to do.
I had it all figured out.
I don't have a good explanation for why it didn't go that way. What changed my mind was my little boy, two years old, needing me for a little while longer. He wanted to play. He was hungry. He wanted to chatter about whatever two year-olds think about.
I wasn't "better" but I wasn't on the brink anymore.
Low spots happened before then and after, but that was the bottom of the hole.
When others called me for counsel or were in crisis, they had me in better times, full of confidence that I had all of the answers (well, usually). Little did I know that as I was literally helping my CO navigate his marital problems, my own was falling apart in secret.
Life has a funny way of kicking you in the balls, then working out somehow.
I'm glad you are still here, Nancy.
Your CO was a moron. You didn't even tell your backstory and I'll bet $100 I know what it is. No need to post it.
Caring isn't that hard to do. It is just more work than some want to do.
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