How do you deal with the Military being your past life?

I was on active duty just 6 of my 72 years. That doesn't seem like much, does it? It is.

I'll never be the man I was then, but who is regardless of whether they served or not.

The truth is that I didn't think much about it until a couple of years ago when I learned that veterans were getting a raw deal from the government in general and the VA in particular. I didn't need anything from them. I've always prided myself on being independent. But, I heard a call and couldn't not answer it.

I joined the VFW and the American Legion and got involved.

It was like coming home.

I was a soldier. Hell, I am a soldier. Damn, it feels good just writing that.

I'm raising money for the Marines at Pendleton, helping feed and clothe young families while their spouses are deployed. I'm trying to help raise funds for an Iwo Jima memorial to come to the base. I visit the VA hospital. And, I'm looking for more ways to help.

I'm not looking for a pat on the back. I'm saying this only to encourage others to follow me. There's a need. It's greater than I can fill. You're needed too.

My reward is already paid. I feel like one of you again...

After I retired, I missed the army. I don't think of it as my past life, it is still part of my life, just another part.

Brother you are by no means alone.....I was 47 when I retired back in '13 after 26 years and still felt I had a lot to contribute to today's Army....unfortunately for me, I had grown too "old", with too much TIS and TIG for Big Army to pick up for MSG, I watched as those I had trained passed me by and others that had about the same TIS as I had TIG got promoted over me, even as my NCOERs still were 1-1's and I was among the best....some of us just seem to have gotten left behind....I live vicariously through my middle son now and am trying to mentor him so that he can/will surpass what I accomplished in my career.

As I have mentioned in other posts, I am really trying to emulate the vets who served in conflict generations before me, especially World War II, Korea and Vietnam.

Those I have been closest to were/are proud of their service, but they did not necessarily let it define them solely. They epitomize the professional soldier, the quiet professional and they tried to remain supportive of those currently serving.

But they also are accessible to the community. They reach out to those who did not serve as an equal, not with disdain because they didn't do their part. They do not speak poorly of other veterans because of what those other veterans were not -- i.e. didn't serve in combat arms, did not deploy when it was hard, etc.

Lastly, they -- and hopefully I -- did not/do not feel the need to brag or defend my service. I know what I did and I know areas where I could have been better. If there are those that want to judge otherwise, so be it.

I am a new retiree, but will be a proud, supportive veteran for the rest of my life. But that doesn't mean I have to throw it your face every chance I get, because you might be a veteran as well, just more professional about how you carry yourself.

Great post SGT Micheal Adams , and thank you for your service!

No, you are not alone. I am not sure if RP helps or makes it worse? Like scratching the scab off a wound? Reminds you what you once had and were but no more? Does that makes sense?

How do I deal, I joined RallyPoint!

I was very lost for a long time after my service until I started working with Veterans. It helped me bridge my "past" life with my current one. So not only have I been making a living but it has been therapeutic for me as well. If you are not as fortunate as I am to be able to work with Vets for a living then volunteering might be a great way to help.

I'm 70 now, but being in the military and in Vietnam is just like it happened yesterday. I didn't re-enlist back in '67. I was still screwed up from being in Nam and didn't think I should. As I got older, and especially after getting help from the VA, I realized I should have stayed in and retired if I made through a couple more tours in Nam. I miss the camaraderie , my pals I served with, and the military itself. I have tried to stay involved in military type programs like RP. I had a military ministry at my church for ten years which I put the names of vets in Iraq and Afghanistan, with their APO, so members could send care packages and mail to the troops. None of the names I posted were killed, but some were injured. That played out about two years ago, when I couldn't get anymore names. I am a total vet advocate and will do whatever I can to help. That's kinda my way of still being in the military.

The challenge is how you let the memories make you feel. The military was a huge part of our lives and we were proud to serve our country. Now we have retired or separated, and maybe not by our choice, and feel either we still had a lot to offer and/or we aren't wanted or needed any longer. All kind of feelings can come into play such as: frustration, anger, depression, fear, anxiety, loneliness, and apprehension to name a few. When I went through the transition process I don't remember anything dealing with this, but then again, my process was combined with a MEB, PEB and Warrior Transition Battalion, and it was info overload.

I had to come to that point of having a talk with myself and deciding to choose what I wanted to do and how I wanted to live my life from that point forward. I chose to celebrate in the memories of my past military and take advantage of the opportunities presented to me now. I was happy and successful in the military and my happiness and success was due to me, not the military - it was just where it happened, so I can be happy and successful in something else. You just have to find what that something else is, whether it is another job, volunteering, church, family, hobbies, going back to school or doing nothing at all.

I liken it to the passing of a living being, a loved one, be it a pet or person. That part of my life is over (active military) and I want to celebrate the time I had with it rather than mourn its passing. There is nothing positive that can come from living a life of mourning. I will admit I did go through a mourning period, and it was not pretty - alcohol, weight gain, reckless behavior or adrenaline rushes, strained relationships, you name it.

RP has given me the opportunity to once again 'belong' to a military organization where I feel I can contribute. If there is any possibility that somebody still on active duty may benefit or learn from something I might say - it is a win. If there is any possibility that a fellow retiree or veteran can find some comfort or humor in something I might say - it is a win.

this is where I think transition training is imperative....its not so much about TAP/ACAP helping me find a job (although appreciated), but also about how do I integrate into civilian society without choking the living $h!t out of someone bitching about their steak being undercooked....

forgive me, I just watched a stolen valor video, from RP...the one about the EOD 1LT...

But seriously, the military sort of becomes your identity...as I will be getting out soon, sort of having an identity crisis..