Posted on Jun 3, 2014
MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
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I fall into category 2, but was curious what others thought. From my RallyPoint experience I can see there is a lot of respect for rank among retirees and from active service members. Even locally when I run into my comrades, we all address each other by rank out of respect. Even though I tell people to call me by my first name, It still feels good to hear it.
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SN Steven Fast
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4
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I still call my boot camp CC Chief, and if I were to find any of my other superiors that I served with, I would still address them by their rank.
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PO1 Jonathon Oakley
4
4
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Only if you are a flag or I worked under your command. Even if worked for you, it will depend on my level of respect for your leadership.
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PO1 Jonathon Oakley
PO1 Jonathon Oakley
11 y
Hmm , two things I am starting to question. First, I never saw MAJ Perry's original post. So I was not addressing it. Let me modify my statement. If you address me by rank I will also respect your acheivments. For most, I find we are done with titles. But, for your time and sacrifice, I will gladly entertain you with the trappings of title.
Second, MAJ Petraca I see your icon represents your rank properly as a gold cluster. However, I seem to have been demoted to, quite literally second class.
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PO1 Jonathon Oakley
PO1 Jonathon Oakley
11 y
Hmm , two things I am starting to question. First, I never saw MAJ Perry's original post. So I was not addressing it. Let me modify my statement. If you address me by rank I will also respect your acheivments. For most, I find we are done with titles. But, for your time and sacrifice, I will gladly entertain you with the trappings of title.
Second, MAJ Petraca I see your icon represents your rank properly as a gold cluster. However, I seem to have been demoted to, quite literally second class.
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PO1 Jonathon Oakley
PO1 Jonathon Oakley
11 y
Site needs improvements, I work in this area and find it confusing
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MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
11 y
PO1 Oakley, you should be able to adjust that under your profile. The rank by your comments is the same as the highest rank on your profile. If not try contacting the site admin - hover over the arrow next to your name at the top of the page then click the support link.
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SSgt Gregory Guina
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4
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I think it depends. I would be uncomfortable in most instances being called SSgt once I retire unless it is in some veterans organization (VFW, Legion).
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MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
11 y
I agree SSgt. I would never expect anyone but a former service member or someone who knew me when... to ever use my rank. Being in the Guard is sometimes a different beast because we run into each other everywhere. Where not the smallest state for nothing!
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SSgt Robert Lusczek
SSgt Robert Lusczek
11 y
I have linked up on LinkedIn with those I formerly served with including my LtCol and a Capt for my last tour at I&I Duty and are on first name basis, while USAA, TriCare, and Navy Federal continue to call me by my rank.
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LTC Operations Officer (Opso)
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4
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I think it is confusing at times. I heard it is the highest position that the person was in such as is it GEN Powell or Secretary Powell, GEN Petraeus or Director Petraeus? I try to go safe and say Sir or Ma'am. If enlisted by SGT if they were E-5 to E-8 or Top, SGM, etc. If personally close to me we go by first names.
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CPT Kyle Schembechler
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In my very limited military experience, I have only addressed veterans by their rank at formal evens such as balls or commissioning ceremonies. Other than that, it's just "Mr." or 'Ms." and they're fine with it.
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MSG Wade Huffman
MSG Wade Huffman
11 y
When dealing with veterans, and we old retirees, I don't imagine that you will ever have any issue as long as you are professional and courteous. There may be one or two individual exceptions out there, but I have a feeling that their type will be well known in the community!
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COL Charles Williams
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This is an interesting one. I will tell you why, and try to illustrate my point.

1. I could/would never call one of my former bosses by their first name, especially those who were GOs. And when I hear other other retirees do that, I see it as disrespectful. It is almost like the wait to retire so they can use first names. Heck, I have a hard time calling retired Colonels, who were my bosses before I was a Colonel, by their first names.

2. I also have a hard time calling former Command Sergeants Major by their first name... It just does not seem right. I eventually got there with a few, as several are also now my close friends.

3. I very much dislike when former subordinates quickly call me "Chuck" in retirement... I see it as disrespectful, which is probably tied to number 1 and 2 above. I see it as now they don't have to show respect, as if to say they never had any respect, but they to act like it.

4. The last is probably because I was a MP and am a retired MP Colonel... When I enter my local military post, Fort Leonard Wood, I hate when an random MP doesn't have the common courtesy to call me Sir; most are very respectful and many even salute. I learned as young MP you can never go wrong with Sir, and I believe as retired Colonel, I have earned that. I always refer to seniors, retired or active as Sir.

I am sure to some I sound anal and self absorbed, but that is hardly the case. I suspect my opinions are based on my view of the world. I just don't think things change immediately the day you take off your uniform, or the respect you had was perhaps not really real respect.
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SGT Fire Support Specialist
SGT (Join to see)
>1 y
I agree Sir that you sound anal to some, but not to me. I (to point a fact) could not agree much more. I too, believe that you don't just lose your respect just because your contract is expired. I also believe that you are right that (for most all men --save a few exceptions in conjunction with a person's personae) in that, if your title disappeared with your contract that the respect you were being shown before was most likely not real before. This is PRIMARILY why I cannot address a superior servicemember that I know (retired or not) by their first name, unless they instruct me to do so.....and that's still difficult for me. With all that said, I would like to say that your opinion has been appreciated, at least on my part, and it has been a pleasure to hear it Colonel Sir.
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SSG Security Specialist
SSG (Join to see)
>1 y
I think I called you Mr Williams, but then again you were also my son's JROTC instructor. But mostly Sir
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1SG Cameron M. Wesson
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3
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As a Army retiree and now as a DA Civilian... I lean toward option B. With that said... I also find myself, and many of you may also, in a different position at work. While we are all familiar with "our collective" backgrounds... That is all that it is... A background. Why? Well we are DA Civilians.... Minus the active duty team members and using former titles and ranks simply aren't appropriate.

This is especially true now when, I being a retired 1SG, am the Deputy Director of an organization that is made up of civilians and retired officers... Normally LTCs; however, I do have one retired COL. In the absence of my COL... I'm it! Regardless if he is there or not I handle the day-to-day operations of the organization. Most of my peers are also retired officers.

This doesn't mean I want people to bow and grovel... I'm just Cam! Everyone knows my title and that's all. I have been complimented by many as being a servant leader.

Now... Out of habit.. And as a southern boy... I adddress almost everyone by Sir/Ma'am/Ms.... Young or old ... Those are just my manners. That and I would prefer that I not be visited by the ghost of my momma and dad to remind me, "I didn't raise you like that!"

I do find it humerous to be addressed as "Top" or "1SG" when I'm needed for KSAs of my former life... It is done so on each occasion very respectfully... It normally begins, "Cam... I need you to put your SNCO hat on.... We have a question".
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SSG Peter Ludlum
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3
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Having been a civilian working to the military while still in the National Guard it can be very convoluted. I was referred to by my first name a lot while in uniform by my superiors. Usually in meetings and never around my troops. I on the other hand always used rank in and out of uniform so as to not make that fatal mistake of calling a CSM or a Colonel and above by their first name or any other familiarity. A lot of the LTC and below I knew from their first day of commission and in private would be familiar. That was just me though. Like a salute when in doubt whip it out.
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LTC Stephen C.
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3
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I've been retired for a long time and I prefer first names. However, should the other person prefer to use rank, then that's fine also.
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CSM Charles Hayden
CSM Charles Hayden
>1 y
LTC Stephen C. That is great Colonel!

Steve, your presentation on TWS is beautiful! Best, Chuck
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LTC Stephen C.
LTC Stephen C.
>1 y
You’re most kind, Chuck. Thank you.
CSM Charles Hayden
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SPC Richard White
3
3
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Rank is earned and sometimes there are stories that go behind them.It was only a year ago I found out about a story about my JROTC AI that makes me have a lot more respect for him and he will always be SGM. Petro
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SGM Retired
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I fall somewhere between 1 and 2. There's little worse than a retired 1SG who's always trying to hold an inspection or a retired COL who keeps looking for his driver, aide, and expects salutes. (Shoulda stayed in, if those things are that important to you.) Likewise retirees who are always trying to fix problems they left behind. "So ... if you left a problem unsolved, did you get out too early or weren't you competent enough to fix it?"

On the other hand, if you've EARNED it, you ought to be accorded it.
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SSgt Tim Ricci
3
3
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Friends I do not call by there rank, there are actually a few Officers that was Cobra Pilots in my Squadron in Desert Storm are now Wing CGs, I have not run into them Guys but I would address them as General unless asked not to do so. Some Of LDO friends made it to LtCol and we still call each other by our first names.
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SSG Lawrence Campagna
SSG Lawrence Campagna
11 y
I definitely fall into cat2. I have been out now for quite some time and most of my friends I am on a first name basis with. However some I served with and especially ones who out ranked me I address with rank and name. I alao make it a point to do the same if I see current enlisted in uniform out of respect. Of course this would alao depend on if they requested to simply call them "Bill"
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Maj Civil Engineer
3
3
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I humbly suggest you be referred to as Maj Bob.
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MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
11 y
I humbly accept if you insist LT Booker!
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SPC Charles Brown
3
3
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There is one option that has been left off here:

I address retirees by rank unless or until they tell me that I can use their first name.

This would be my response to the question.
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SFC Maintenance Supervisor
SFC (Join to see)
11 y
It is respectful to address them as their rank until the individual requests that you call them by their name. Thats my thought on it.
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MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
11 y
You can all call me Bob, I do hereby authorize it!
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SPC Charles Brown
SPC Charles Brown
11 y
Ok, thanks Rob. Seems a little weird to be allowed to call an officer by his first name.
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SSG Tim Everett
SSG Tim Everett
>1 y
"My rank is Tim".
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PO1 Walter Duncan
3
3
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It all depends on location and situation. If I am on my property and a retired Capt. comes over not in uniform. I guess his name is Mr. (whatever) or Bob. If I was attending a service type assembly I would be more inclined to use the proper Rank and Title. These things are always up to situational occasions.
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CW2 Geoff Lachance
3
3
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After 18 years retired, I still love it when those I served with call me Chief! It was always used with respect. When I found out my civilian doctor was a retired navy officer I started calling him sir! I hope our forces always carry the respect and traditions on. Honor is such a great virtue! God Bless our service members!
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Cpl Ehr Specialist
3
3
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I look at it this way active duty, reserve & retired are all subject to UCMJ. As such, a Sir or Rank acknowledgement is part and partial. As well, once retired, I believe that most individuals have earned the right to be respected by their rank. For those members who are veterans but not active/inactive reserve or retired, though I respect your service, to me we are just people. Before I am lambasted about Active/retiree/reserve not being people; those serving actively are "GODS"! Well "a" god not "the" god, to quote Bill Murray.
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PO1 Disaster Survivor Assistance Specialist
PO1 (Join to see)
11 y
Cpl Ivan Hicks
Interesting twist on that thought train!
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SSG Human Resources Specialist
3
3
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I've been know by my rank and last name for such a long time, sometimes I forget I have a 1st name. Once in awhile, theres still a few people of higher rank who retired and I still address them by that rank. That is only reserved for those who had an impact on my career by their leadership or mentorship and just mostly because I have that much respect for those few.
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MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca
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Lt Col Skip Fleshman
3
3
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For me just for very senior officers (O7) or NCOs.
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Maj Chris Nelson
3
3
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Show proper respect....regardless of rank Mr. or Mrs/Ms. It is all in the dealings with people. Rank is nice, but not required as long as you are acknowledging them as worthy of respect. Personal opinion.
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Maj Chris Nelson
Maj Chris Nelson
11 y
I personally call people in my clinic by rank if I know they are active duty, and Mr. or Mrs. if they are retired. If I am unsure (based on info I have been given, rank always wins. In some select situations, the retiree has indicated preference to use first name. I honor that, but until I get it, I don't use it!
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