Posted on Dec 7, 2015
Does anyone else get uncomfortable when addressed by rank here on RP?
30.1K
152
103
21
21
0
I've been referred to a lot as "sir" and "Captain" here on Rally Point, but I've been out now for eight years. I'm just Bob. It makes me uncomfortable, not because I'm ashamed of my rank when I was in, but rather because as a veteran I feel like I have the same rank as all other vets, regardless of TIS or rank. What are your thoughts on this?
Posted 10 y ago
Responses: 55
Very valid point. But I think we have customs and courtesies beat into us, so it's hard to let them go. The only officer I've never addressed as, "Sir," is my Dad.
(2)
(0)
I was a 1stSgt, 38 years ago, but now I'm a Vet.
When someone addresses me as 1stSgt, it's usually another Marine.
I'll say to them kiddingly, take your pack off Marine...........My name is Don.......smile and say thanks.
When someone addresses me as 1stSgt, it's usually another Marine.
I'll say to them kiddingly, take your pack off Marine...........My name is Don.......smile and say thanks.
(1)
(0)
Here, nah. Chaps, Rev., Dr., LT, pastor, padre, father, Adam (my first name, don’t really like posting that for the world to see, thus this is the only place you’ll see it on RP). Semper gumby. Doesn’t matter to me, 8th grade students have called me worse.
In uniform on orders with other SMs, I’m just plain old Chaps. Though the navy being what it is, I usually get called LT the first time, and then Chaplain when they figure out that’s what I am. I’m not here to bust your butt over a title, I’ve got enough anyway.
But if you’re older than me, well, I’m from the South. You’re a sir or ma’am. Always.
In uniform on orders with other SMs, I’m just plain old Chaps. Though the navy being what it is, I usually get called LT the first time, and then Chaplain when they figure out that’s what I am. I’m not here to bust your butt over a title, I’ve got enough anyway.
But if you’re older than me, well, I’m from the South. You’re a sir or ma’am. Always.
(1)
(0)
I AM A MEMBER OF THE MARINE CORPS LEAGUE. THE LEAGUE HAS NO RANK. THIS IS GOOD FOR THE ORGANIZTION AS IT STOPS A LOT OF "I AM BETTER THAN YOU" STUFF.BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I WISH, AT TIMES, THAT I COULD SWING A LITTLE WEIGHT. AS ORGANIZATIONS GO, THERE IS NONE FINER FOR BROTHERHOOD.
(1)
(0)
MCPO Roger Collins
One thing about it is we see how much we have in common, E-2 through E-9, O-1 through O-6. I like it even though we are all equal in our comments.
(0)
(0)
I don't really think that anything is meant by it. For most of us it is respect. I have quite a few friends that are CSM and they are retired. In my opinion, they will always be a SgtMaj. I meet them half way. I address them by their rank and thier first name.
I do have a Col friend and his name is Dave. I call him Col Dave because calling him just Dave makes me feel wierd
I do have a Col friend and his name is Dave. I call him Col Dave because calling him just Dave makes me feel wierd
(1)
(0)
I think it is what's instilled in us. Any time I am addressing someone I know was an officer, it's Sir, Ma'am or rank. It's just common respect.
(1)
(0)
While we should be respectful to EVERYONE on this post - this is not a military environment. I retired and hung up the uniform; as long as people are respectable to me they can call me Tom.
My real issue is how some folks are so snide and disrespectful. Had a fellow Chief make a snide remark on a post and I think that people need to think before they speak. Not saying my feelings were hurt - just really hate disrespect. He would not have dare said that to me in person and if he did I'd have fired back. We are all a part of the smallest fraction of our Nation's population and forever will be. I think we should regard each other as family or at least the family we never had. Just my $0.02...
My real issue is how some folks are so snide and disrespectful. Had a fellow Chief make a snide remark on a post and I think that people need to think before they speak. Not saying my feelings were hurt - just really hate disrespect. He would not have dare said that to me in person and if he did I'd have fired back. We are all a part of the smallest fraction of our Nation's population and forever will be. I think we should regard each other as family or at least the family we never had. Just my $0.02...
(1)
(0)
I am sorry Capt. but out of respect I will call you Capt. I don't know you personally so I feel out of place calling you Bob, unless you say so. I have a Maj (owner) and LTC who hunt on the same lease. Since we are all hunters, we go by first names. I had a 1st Lt. (while drinking at a bar) That his first name was "lieutenant". I said in that case, I am Sargent ---- and this is Airmen ---- and I think we should have another round. You earned the rank, so be proud but, you don't have to go around telling everybody your rank. This happened at the NCO club at Orlando AFB. The guy told this other guy--you can't talked to me that way-- i am an officer. The paratrooper cold cocked him and the manager threw him out/
(1)
(0)
Capt Bob Abbott...I hear you bob. For Active Duty folks it is as natural as can be. For some vets it is nice to reconnect, for others it is more jarring. In the end I think the tagging makes sense for uniformity.
(1)
(0)
It don't bother me my RET. DOD ID has it on it and I earned it and the people from USAA call me by it but to each his or hers own.
(1)
(0)
MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
Weird, does the BA stand for Bachelor of Arts or bad ass. Nobody has ever addressed me as MBA. (not mean bad a--)
(1)
(0)
PO1 Brian Austin
They're just my initials, no cool story behind it or anything. Though at some duty stations so many knew me as just "BA", that when i'd use my rank or full name a lot of people would be like "who?".
(0)
(0)
MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
Cool, my son Thomas Kinderknecht is known through out the US as TK. he is a truck driver for Yellow Truck Lines so, he gets around. I find in amusing that the Army goes by specific rank while the Air Force it is either Airman or Sargent. Of course unless you are an E-9 in which case we refer to them as Chief. That was many moons ago, so hard telling what they call each other now.
(1)
(0)
I think it depends and the situation. I like when I drive on Fort Hood and the guards address me by my Rank. I still have soldiers that remember me standing in front of my Battalion, during Brigade functions or boards. I will also use it on occasion with other Sergeant Majors that might have worked for me in the past.
(1)
(0)
You can call me Captain, Sgt, hey you, Don, etc. Anything but late for chow.
Seriously, having someone address me by rank (either enlisted or commissioned) is an honor.
Seriously, having someone address me by rank (either enlisted or commissioned) is an honor.
(1)
(0)
I don't get uncomfortable but I understand what you saying, I've been retired almost 10yrs, you can call me Audwin, Red, Scotty, whatever you feel comfortable with but the use of rank is no longer necessary, know longer who I am.
(1)
(0)
I feel you. I don't like when people
Who I don't work for or with call me by my rank. I like just being called T.
Who I don't work for or with call me by my rank. I like just being called T.
(1)
(0)
SFC (Join to see)
SFC (Join to see), I totally agree. Using rank on a social networking site with a bunch of strangers is kind of weird.
(1)
(0)
MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
SFC (Join to see) - SFC We are not strangers. We are all military and as such can address each other as rank as long as we know what it is,
(0)
(0)
SFC (Join to see)
MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
No offense, but we are strangers. If wouldn't trust to give you keys to my home, then we're strangers. Both being military doesn't give us any familiarity, just a common profession.
No offense, but we are strangers. If wouldn't trust to give you keys to my home, then we're strangers. Both being military doesn't give us any familiarity, just a common profession.
(1)
(0)
MSgt Marvin Kinderknecht
SFC (Join to see) - It can go either way. At some Congress investigation the General was addressing The Senator as "Madam". She corrected him and said my title is "Senator" General. The General corrected her by saying it is Major General Madam. And the world goes round and round. My Military nick-name is unprintable. If you were in civilian attire, I would not approach you. But in Military attire I might want to start a conversation. By the way, I don't give the keys to my house to anybody.
(1)
(0)
Why? I will never feel uncomfortable in here. I will continue to give the common courtesies toward rank but won't feel uncomfortable.
(1)
(0)
When I was a child I was a cub scout, rank "Wolf". I was enlisted in the US Air Force and ranked a "TSgt". As a retiree and business owner, I am now an officer, rank "CEO". I tend to see the Air Force the same as I do the Cub Scouts now. Someday when I am elderly, I'll most likely see "CEO" as another transient phase.
(1)
(0)
TSgt Eric Nordstrom
Most likely, if someone is calling you Capt or Sir, it is because you proved yourself worthy of the Title at some point. Enjoy it, you earned it.
(1)
(0)
Capt Bob Abbott
TSgt Eric Nordstrom - Well, I seem to have found a couple of the "bad apples" on RP, and they use the phrase "sir" derisively. Which I find interesting. One would think there's a lot more to troll me on than my rank. lol
(1)
(0)
You earned your rank, so why be ashamed or embarrassed? Own it. You earned it.
(0)
(0)
For me, "Sir" predates the Military. I still do it. Even when I answer the phone and someone says "Hey, Rich, this is Bob Chambless", you're likely to get a cheerful "Yes, Sir"
(0)
(0)
no i much appreciate this , and we all should be proud of what we are and once were.
(0)
(0)
Capt Bob Abbott
The main reason I normally address people by rank here on RP is because I "tag" them in my posts, but I agree with you.
I get kind of weirded out/annoyed when I show my retired ID to come on base and people say "Thank you Petty Officer" or even worse "Sir," LOL. I'm not an Officer dammit, nor am I really IT1 Miller anymore. Sure I could technically be recalled since I am still part of the "Fleet Reserve" but since I'm not active duty anymore, John will work just fine.
The main reason I normally address people by rank here on RP is because I "tag" them in my posts, but I agree with you.
I get kind of weirded out/annoyed when I show my retired ID to come on base and people say "Thank you Petty Officer" or even worse "Sir," LOL. I'm not an Officer dammit, nor am I really IT1 Miller anymore. Sure I could technically be recalled since I am still part of the "Fleet Reserve" but since I'm not active duty anymore, John will work just fine.
(0)
(0)
I have no problem calling you Bob, now that I know you prefer it. It seems that a lot of people call me Sir or Mr., which I do not care for. I refer to officers as sir, ma'am, or by their rank, out of respect.
(0)
(0)
Great question Bob. When I drive through the gate of a base, I prefer being addressed as MSG over Sir or "Thank you for your service". On RP, Wally works best for me.
(0)
(0)
This is a great question. I don't feel uncomfortable being addressed by the rank I held while serving. I am out of the service now, but I recognize the context of the website. The context of the website is military. So, I roll with it.
(0)
(0)
I don't notice rank so I guess it's OK either way. If it makes you edgy Bob it is.
(0)
(0)
Capt Bob Abbott
I always thought it strange that people hold on the the rank from when they were in the service, but maybe I think that because I was merely a specialist. I think that Veterans on RP should just be our name, not our former rank. It is nice to "meet you" Bob, Merry Christmas and I hope you have a very good new year!
I always thought it strange that people hold on the the rank from when they were in the service, but maybe I think that because I was merely a specialist. I think that Veterans on RP should just be our name, not our former rank. It is nice to "meet you" Bob, Merry Christmas and I hope you have a very good new year!
(0)
(0)
This may have already been addressed. Part of the reason, Sir Captain Bob is the site's program to call out specific members by name (Capt Bob Abbott ) automatically pulls the name and rank that your profile shows.
I often use that feature because I know it gives that person a few points. But I will only use it once in a conversation and refer to other names as they wish. Bob.
I often use that feature because I know it gives that person a few points. But I will only use it once in a conversation and refer to other names as they wish. Bob.
(0)
(0)
More often than not, it is ingrained habit with me as to why I would still use the address of Sir/Ma'am.
(0)
(0)
Even in my everyday life when I address people it's "yes sir/ma'am", I was raised to be polite and continue to follow that upbringing for the most part. It's not just a rank, it's a title that you earned. Sure, you're no longer in the military but in this particular forum its military bases therefore the rank structure is a part of it. I think anyway.
(0)
(0)
I would call you 'Sir' or 'Captain' as a starting point. Then we go with whatever you prefer.
It is basically me, acknowledging your rank and showing appropriate respect. This applies to everyone, no matter what their rank was. Here, at RP, we are in a military venue so it is not inappropriate for me to acknowledge your rank as a starting point.
In business, I receive resumes, some from current and former military. I always start by addressing that person by their rank, especially since most of them are or were either senior NCO's or officers.
It is telling which ones invite me to call them by their names and which ones do not.
It is basically me, acknowledging your rank and showing appropriate respect. This applies to everyone, no matter what their rank was. Here, at RP, we are in a military venue so it is not inappropriate for me to acknowledge your rank as a starting point.
In business, I receive resumes, some from current and former military. I always start by addressing that person by their rank, especially since most of them are or were either senior NCO's or officers.
It is telling which ones invite me to call them by their names and which ones do not.
(0)
(0)
Yep, I have my DD-214. My go by Mark or "Rawk" --depending on with whom I'm chatting. Some habits die hard, however. If I introduce a friend of mine in a professional setting, I will ask how they prefer to be introduced --especially if they are retired. On RP, the rules are slightly different: (active duty, retired, vets, and a few guests) It's social media. When in doubt, I go with the "reply" button which automatically populates the name/rank. After all, it's what we've already self-identified to. I'd say the only time to exercise deference would be conversations involving active duty members.
(0)
(0)
To me when people use rank or sir, I take as a respectful tone. Nothing to be ashamed about in my opinion.
(0)
(0)
Not uncomfortable, but I do not feel it necessary here. I have been out for some time and I am totally comfortable being addressed by name or rank. I do prefer the name my Momma gave me though!
(0)
(0)
SFC Edward Hall
It doesn't bother and a bit. On occasion I might meet someone who I served wirh years ago andcan't remember his name so remembering rank helps. My son is a retired MSG.
(0)
(0)
I guess I am in minority, I have no issue people calling me by my first name, last name, rank, or other military names like grunt, airborne, ground pounder, etc etc. It doesn't face me, especially not when I am among veterans. i assume that people use the epithet that makes them most comfortable, and I have no issue with that.
With that said, I understand your perspective - but uncomfortable, I am not.
I would never suggest that people call me by my rank ever... well, unless someone that I do not respect would have me address them as Doctor "because they have earned it" - well then I might just have to have them call me a title I have earned. But that would be the only time I can imagine.
With that said, I understand your perspective - but uncomfortable, I am not.
I would never suggest that people call me by my rank ever... well, unless someone that I do not respect would have me address them as Doctor "because they have earned it" - well then I might just have to have them call me a title I have earned. But that would be the only time I can imagine.
(0)
(0)
Capt Bob Abbott
Right, but if I might offer, you are still serving. I was find with it for a few years after I got out, but now many years later I'm like, "hey, just call me Bob."
(1)
(0)
CSM Charles Hayden Passed 7/29/2025
SGT (Join to see) An MD casually addressed, patient me as 'Chief', I bit back, 'I am a SGM not a chief!'. He responded that he was a retired COL!
(1)
(0)
Really doesn't matter to me. What ever the writer feels comfortable with. But if the respondent prefers less formal communication is ok too.
(0)
(0)
I'm my humble opinion, you've earned that rank and regardless of your status (active, reserve, retired) I will show that respect. You've earned it. Just like I've earned the right to be called a Tanker. Don't feel uncomfortable Sir, people are showing you respect.
(0)
(0)
Read This Next