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I was out last week and over heard a conversation where someone was saying something about someone he knows was complaining about verbal abuse and that person was a whiner and needed to suck it up. It really upset me and it was all I could do to keep my mouth shut and not go over there and give him a piece of my mind.
Being a person who was in a relationship of 12 years of verbal abuse, I'm here to let you know that it's just as bad or worse than physical abuse. Though physical abuse is painful, you heal, but mental abuse over years leave life time scars and leaves some people mentally incapable of living.
Most people think that it's Males who abuse Females, but believe it or not...Females ABUSE Males too...both physically and mentally.
If you or someone you know is being abused, help them get help before it is too late.
I got help...I was in and out of therapy for 7 of the 12 years... Mental abuse can be detrimental. Seek help...get out of the relationship. It is NOT going to change.
The reason I brought this discussion up is because I hear many people say Physical abuse is far worse than Verbal abuse...and I over heard this conversation where this guy was saying that someone he knows that is being verbally abused needs to suck it up and get over it...he said it's not like she's being beaten...then she would have the right to complain. I brought this conversation up because VERBAL abuse is just a DETRIMENTAL and many times far worse, depending on the situation. I brought this up because many people in these situations either think it's okay...or it's their fault and THEY DO NOT GET HELP. I lived it for 12 years...even got him to go to therapy/counseling with me....but as soon as I let my guard down...he would stop going to therapy and t would start all over again....I finally got fed up...tired of promising to change...apologizing over and over .... I brought this up to let people know....GET out...GET help.... You don't have to take it. I can't tell you how many times I curled up on the closet floor in the dark and cried for hours....and had to straighten up cause I knew I had to get up and clean, get dinner ready and on the table when he got home...and wondered if it would be a day where the plates would go flying or table turned up side down for whatever set him off that day.... There is a difference...and I am tired of people thinking mental abuse is NOTHING...cause it is a BIG SOMETHING!!! This is the reason I brought it up this way
COL Mikel J. Burroughs LTC Stephen F. Cpl (Join to see) SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4" SFC (Join to see) SPC Britanny *Winnie* Balthaser SPC Margaret Higgins Cynthia Croft MCPO Roger Collins CPT Jack Durish @di mucc
Being a person who was in a relationship of 12 years of verbal abuse, I'm here to let you know that it's just as bad or worse than physical abuse. Though physical abuse is painful, you heal, but mental abuse over years leave life time scars and leaves some people mentally incapable of living.
Most people think that it's Males who abuse Females, but believe it or not...Females ABUSE Males too...both physically and mentally.
If you or someone you know is being abused, help them get help before it is too late.
I got help...I was in and out of therapy for 7 of the 12 years... Mental abuse can be detrimental. Seek help...get out of the relationship. It is NOT going to change.
The reason I brought this discussion up is because I hear many people say Physical abuse is far worse than Verbal abuse...and I over heard this conversation where this guy was saying that someone he knows that is being verbally abused needs to suck it up and get over it...he said it's not like she's being beaten...then she would have the right to complain. I brought this conversation up because VERBAL abuse is just a DETRIMENTAL and many times far worse, depending on the situation. I brought this up because many people in these situations either think it's okay...or it's their fault and THEY DO NOT GET HELP. I lived it for 12 years...even got him to go to therapy/counseling with me....but as soon as I let my guard down...he would stop going to therapy and t would start all over again....I finally got fed up...tired of promising to change...apologizing over and over .... I brought this up to let people know....GET out...GET help.... You don't have to take it. I can't tell you how many times I curled up on the closet floor in the dark and cried for hours....and had to straighten up cause I knew I had to get up and clean, get dinner ready and on the table when he got home...and wondered if it would be a day where the plates would go flying or table turned up side down for whatever set him off that day.... There is a difference...and I am tired of people thinking mental abuse is NOTHING...cause it is a BIG SOMETHING!!! This is the reason I brought it up this way
COL Mikel J. Burroughs LTC Stephen F. Cpl (Join to see) SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4" SFC (Join to see) SPC Britanny *Winnie* Balthaser SPC Margaret Higgins Cynthia Croft MCPO Roger Collins CPT Jack Durish @di mucc
What's Worse: Physical Scars or Mental Scars?
Posted from domesticviolencestatistics.org
Mental Health
Health
Relationships
Edited 6 y ago
Posted 6 y ago
Responses: 11
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So, to answer the question - which is worse? My vote is mental scars. Why? Because physical scars can be seen, touch, felt and acknowledged by the world. They may have lingering pain, but typically, they're just a physical representation of a previous injury that is more or less healed. Mental scars aren't really scars because they're never really "healed" - they're just damaged areas that are temporarily patched over, just waiting for the next thing to come along and scrape them open. They can't be seen by anyone - and that makes it hard for people to always accept them as "real." Maybe you're faking it for attention? Maybe you're just exaggerating how it feels? People can't SEE those scars, can't touch them and feel them - so they might as well be "all in your head."
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Sgt Kelli Mays
MAJ Bryan Zeski As someone who experience Mental abuse....maybe I am bias, but I feel/believe that mental abuse can be far worse than physical abuse....I'm right there with you.
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My vote is that Mental Scars are the worst since they don't tend to manifest visibly but cut to the quick of who we are Sgt Kelli Mays.
I have many physical scars from surgery to shrapnel to a knife and broken bottle scar from long ago. My physical scars may bother me when it is wet or cold; but, the mental scars from both physical trauma and mental trauma can trouble be when I see, hear, smell, taste or feel something.
FYI LTC Stephen C. LTC Orlando Illi Lt Col Charlie Brown Maj Bill Smith, Ph.D. Maj William W. 'Bill' Price CPT Jack Durish Capt Tom Brown MSG Andrew White SFC William Farrell SGT (Join to see) Sgt Albert Castro SSG David Andrews Sgt Randy Wilber Sgt John H. CPL Dave Hoover SGT Mark Halmrast SPC Margaret Higgins SrA Christopher Wright
I have many physical scars from surgery to shrapnel to a knife and broken bottle scar from long ago. My physical scars may bother me when it is wet or cold; but, the mental scars from both physical trauma and mental trauma can trouble be when I see, hear, smell, taste or feel something.
FYI LTC Stephen C. LTC Orlando Illi Lt Col Charlie Brown Maj Bill Smith, Ph.D. Maj William W. 'Bill' Price CPT Jack Durish Capt Tom Brown MSG Andrew White SFC William Farrell SGT (Join to see) Sgt Albert Castro SSG David Andrews Sgt Randy Wilber Sgt John H. CPL Dave Hoover SGT Mark Halmrast SPC Margaret Higgins SrA Christopher Wright
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Sgt Kelli Mays
LTC Stephen F. yep...this is true. It's the main reason after I divorced, I never got into another relationship....I have no need for it. I concentrated on raising my kids and did everything with them every day...and after they were grown up, I volunteered to be a legal guardian for a friend whose family would not do it, then he passed and now I am legal guardian of my Great Aunt Vivian who I moved from San Francisco last January and moved her into my house and I take care of her. She'll be 96 yrs old in June.
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I don't think a discussion of verbal versus physical is helpful. What is helpful is respect for thise who have come through and help or support in overcoming residual emotional or physical injuries.
SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth Sgt Kelli Mays MSgt Robert "Rock" Aldi SPC Margaret Higgins MAJ Bryan Zeski MSgt Don Dobbs SMSgt Minister Gerald A. "Doc" Thomas Maj Marty Hogan A1C David Sewell Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen LTC Terrence Farrier, PhD LTC John Griscom SGT (Join to see) Kathlean Keesler A1C Doug Towsley SPC Douglas Bolton
SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth Sgt Kelli Mays MSgt Robert "Rock" Aldi SPC Margaret Higgins MAJ Bryan Zeski MSgt Don Dobbs SMSgt Minister Gerald A. "Doc" Thomas Maj Marty Hogan A1C David Sewell Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen LTC Terrence Farrier, PhD LTC John Griscom SGT (Join to see) Kathlean Keesler A1C Doug Towsley SPC Douglas Bolton
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Lt Col Charlie Brown
Not saying a discusion of what each is and the damage done isn't useful. What isn't useful is the better/worse portion.
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Lt Col Charlie Brown
Sgt Kelli Mays , I commend you for your courage in getting out. The longer it gpes, the harder it serms to be.
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LTC Terrence Farrier, PhD
Sgt Kelli Mays - The environments that individuals experience is always different. If someone loves you, and is guilty of continual verbal abuse, they have an obligation (because they love you) to stop long enough and ask themselves if they would enjoy the same thing? If not, be man or woman enough to recalibrate their actions. If they can't, or won't, it is time to seek counseling....for both. Respectfully...T. Farrier
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